Akeelah and the Bee

Category: Drama and Kids/Family Rating: PG for some language. Run Time: 1hr. 52 min.

Starring Laurence Fishburne, Angela Bassett, Keke Palmer, Curtis Armstrong, J.R. Villarreal

Directed by Doug Atchison

Produced by Todd Wagner, Mark Cuban, Marc Butan

Written by Doug Atchison

Distributed by Lions Gate

Release Date: April 28th, 2006

Synopsis: A precocious eleven-year-old girl, Akeelah Anderson, from south Los Angeles, is discovered to have a talent for words. In spite of the objections of her mother Wanda, Akeelah enters a spelling contest. Her gift takes her to compete in the National Spelling Bee, the most famous competition of its kind in the world. On the way, she is helped by a forthright, mysterious teacher, Dr. Larabee, and other members of her community.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: A+

I have never competed in, much less won, a Spelling Bee of any kind in my entire life so I may not have enough words in my limited vocabulary to describe how much I enjoyed this film. It's difficult for me not to turn this review into an all out advertisement, but simply put it's a must see and "must pay" film - meaning you need to go see it at the theater for a variety of reasons. It isn't a must see film just because of how often African-Americans complain about the limited array of positive images and portrayals presented to represent our experience in cinema. It isn't a must see film just because of it's inspirational and uplifting message. It isn't a must see film just because it's funny yet serious and you can literally take the whole family to see it. It's a must see film for all these reasons and more. 

In less skilled hands this film could have turned into something overly syrupy or maybe even a bit corny, as you can almost be sure the film will have an at least somewhat happy ending, but director Doug Atchison manages to, in the most trite and cliché terms, "keep it real". Just beneath all the good feelings are the realities of Akeelah's working class life in South Central, Los Angeles. Akeelah is a smart and talented child; the surface of her potential is probably only being scratched upon with her special spelling talent that she hones partially by playing Scrabble. At school she is somewhat bored and her attendance suffers do to other pressures to fit in. She is teased for being a "brainiac" and consequently attempts to hide her abilities, though a least some of the adults, particularly one of her teachers and the school principle see something truly special in her. The school she goes to is poor and almost pathologically under-funded which is evident when we compare her school experience to that of her Spelling Bee competition who are almost all from rich or upper class backgrounds. While Akeelah's school "barely has money for kickballs" the children of the privileged take "Latin", have private tutors, and are directed to other opportunities to improve their abilities. We know somehow Akeelah has lost her father (we find out later he was murdered on his way home from work). Her mother Tanya Anderson, played by the incomparable Angela Bassett, is haunted by her husband's untimely death and struggling with all the issues or raising at least 3 children on her own in a underprivileged neighborhood. Bassett's character works hard and long hours, already has a daughter who is also a mother and apparently not far from being a teenager herself, and another son a couple of years older than Akeelah, who she is trying her best not to lose to the L.A. streets. Though she almost makes you hate her for initially being less than supportive of her daughter, Akeelah's efforts with the Spelling Bee, you're forced to understand her as she's not an absentee parent or indifferent to her child's academic performance, she's just a bit overwhelmed. 

Akeelah's early success is the Spelling Bee's is a bit overwhelming too, as she becomes somewhat of a sensation in her neighborhood and school, leading to a little jealousy but far more encouragement, it's as if she has "a million teachers". Also lending supporting roles as child actors and fellow Spelling Bee contestants are Mexican-American named Javier (J.R. Villarreal) and an Asian-American named Dylan. Javier, who is from an upscale neighborhood befriends Akeelah and it is indirectly through him that we learn about "life on the other side", as we are able to contrast his experience with that of Akeelah's. Dylan on the other hand is an arrogant if a bit robotic, 2-time runner up Spelling Bee champion, driven by an obsessive and domineering father who treats the spelling bee like armed combat, though before it's over you may even find yourself liking Dylan as a character. Even with all her talent Akeelah would find herself not quite able to match up with the best among her much better prepared peers, to compete on the highest level. Like them, she needs coaching and direction and that is where Laurence Fishburne's character, Dr. Joshua Larabee, a UCLA English professor on leave and dealing with his own personal drama, enters. The coaching sessions between Fishburne and Akeelah are a moving and indispensable part of the film as he teaches her not just how to compete but how to be proud and believe in her abilities. The sessions make her not just a better contestant but a better person. He forces her to remember and internalize the quote often incorrectly attributed to Nelson Mandela and also used in the film Coach Carter, that begins. "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." In the end we learn it isn't all about winning, though you can't help but cheer for Akeelah, it's often more about the journey.

Alpha Dog

Category: Drama, Crime/Gangster and Teen Rating: R for pervasive drug use and language, strong violence, sexuality and nudity. Run Time: 1hr. 57 min.

Starring Justin Timberlake, Bruce Willis, Sharon Stone, Emile Hirsch, Dominique Swain

Directed by Nick Cassavetes

Produced by Steven Markoff, Robert Geringer, Avram Kaplan

Written by Nick Cassavetes

Distributed by Universal Pictures Distribution, Universal Pictures

Release Date: January 12th, 2007

Synopsis: Johnny is a Los Angeles drug dealer. He comes from a good family, owns his home, several cars and enjoys partying with his friends. Johnny is 19. When his friend Jake welches on a debt, Johnny and his boys kidnap Jake's 15-year-old brother Butch and hold him as a marker. Even though Butch has numerous chances to escape, he doesn't. He's enjoying partying with them, losing his virginity and having a good time - until something goes horribly wrong.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: B-

Alpha Dog been out a month and I just got around to sneaking in a theatre to see it, there was no real rush for a film like this since word of mouth has not been strong. Contrary to what I expected this film is actually decent but the problem is that it's not fair that it comes out while there is a current court case pending concerning this “true” story of racist, drug selling, bad behaving, kidnapping White kids who think they run the world and will probably be your boss one day (lol). It’s loosely based on real life events, the story of Jesse James Hollywood, a young wannabe thug currently awaiting trial. Alpha Dog depicts well to do young adults from Southern California's San Gabriel Valley who sit around their million dollar cribs high, horny, growing stupider each day, watching MTV, dissing Hip-hop artist as coons but listening to lots of rap while playing video games, talking shit, and plotting to do evil things.

This film was written and directed by Nick Cassavetes who obviously saw the disturbing, coming of age, classic Kids by Larry Clark but it’s not done in such a documentary fashion. Like Kids the director doesn't condone anyone's behavior, but he also shows how kidnapping victim sometimes identify with the kidnappers ala Patty Hearst (c’mon duke Google her). More noticeably he shows adults who are irresponsible and concerned with being peers of their kids, won't get respect from their kids when they try to discipline them. There's some great acting by annoying parents who one minute want to be their kids' buddies and seconds later try to be a disciplinarian; a stereotype of White families believed by many other minority groups.

Alpha Dog takes the story of a kidnapping masterminded by a young drug dealer named Johnny Truelove. One of Johnny's clients, "Jake" a junkie who is a skinhead and Jewish (yeah you read it right). Anyway Jake owes Johnny some money. Until the debt is settled, he kidnaps Jake's younger half-brother, Zack (a good young actor). These punk kids start snitching on each other and get scared once they realize that they can go to jail for a long time. We stand back and watch them devour each other. Ironically the most interesting character is the tattooed Jewish Aryan skinhead Jake because he is from a good Jewish family and very unstable. Basically all of these kids are punks who live in a fantasy world except Jake who actually kicks a few people's ass in one scene. Pop star Justin Timberlake plays Johnny's friend in an ok debut acting role. Still not sure why this film is called Alpha Dog since an alpha-male rises to that position by deposing the previous Alpha-male, and maintains it through the brutal oppression of any challengers. These kids are all privileged posers who watched too much TV and lived in a fantasy world, until the death of an innocent forced them all back to reality.- Nuff Said

Amazing Grace

Category: Art/Foreign, Drama, Thriller and Politics/Religion Rating: PG for thematic material involving slavery, and some mild language. Run Time: 1 hr. 51 min.

Starring: Ioan Gruffudd, Albert Finney, Benedict Cumberbatch, Michael Gambon, Romola Garai

Directed by Michael Apted

Produced by Jeanney Kim, James Clayton (II), Duncan Reid

Written by Steven Knight

Distributed by Samuel Goldwyn Films, Roadside Attractions

Release Date: February 23rd, 2007

Synopsis: William Wilberforce led efforts as a member of Parliament in 18th-century England to end slavery and the slave trade in the British empire. Wilberforce was elected to the House of Commons at 21 and took on the issue of slavery, successfully assembling a diverse coalition that went up against the most powerful men of the time.

Keith Johnson a.k.a. Tsarbernard Says: Overall: B-

Confession time: I’m skeptical of films that focus on White protagonists saving Black folk. While I freely acknowledge that well-intentioned Whites have been crucial to Black struggles, I always feel the Blacks in such films are relegated to secondary roles, often appearing as bystanders in their own fight. I always wonder about the untold stories and how they might make a good movie into a great one. Such is the case here.

Amazing Grace is a good movie, if a bit slow in pacing. It follows the decades-long battle of William Wilberforce (Ioan Gruffudd) to end slavery in the British Empire. As the movie starts, Wilberforce has returned home from years in Parliament, where he’s fought unsuccessfully to get an anti-slavery bill passed. The fight has taken a huge toll on him: although a relatively young man, he’s sickly, subject to coughing fits, abdominal pains, and nightmares. But the most obvious toll is to his soul, as evidenced by the haunted look in his eyes, his unsure speech, the hesitance in his very bearing. This is a man defeated.

Through flashbacks we see the details of his early life. They show a young firebrand dueling verbally with members of the House of Commons, cutting them with his rapier wit. An idealistic and religious man, Wilberforce struggled with the decision of devoting his life to politics or to God. It is this dual nature of piety and fiery idealism that brings him to the attention of the anti-slavery forces and gives them hope. But they are going against a centuries old institution that generates untold wealth for the Empire. Many in Parliament agree that slavery’s wrong, but they also fear the loss of wealth its loss would mean—not to mention potential social upheaval. We watch as the struggle causes Wilberforce to lose his way, only to find it again later.

The word “earnest” comes to mind when I see Gruffudd, whether it’s the tortured and sympathetic Lancelot in “King Arthur”, or the brilliant-but-self-doubting Reed Richards of “Fantastic Four”. His Wilberforce is a likeable character, a man bursting with decency, idealism, and a good bit of naiveté. You can’t help but empathize with him in the long struggle.

The supporting cast is solid, especially Romola Garai as his love interest, and Benedict Cumberbatch as William Pitt, who must tread carefully the path between supporting William’s cause and his duties as Prime Minister. Especially noteworthy is Albert Finney in a small-but-memorable role as John Newton, the slave ship captain who actually wrote “Amazing Grace” as a type of penitence. Knowing his history, one can’t help but view Newton with contempt, but seeing the broken, sorrowful man he’s become, one can’t help but realize the hold slavery held over the entire Western world, like an addictive drug that slowly destroys those too weak to give it up.

Things can drag a bit despite the fine cast. The flashbacks last for the bulk of the movie, and can be confusing at times. The film’s a “talkie” in many ways, with little in the way of action to change the pace. That’s not necessarily bad. Not every revolution comes at the point of a gun. Indeed, the endless debates underscore the difficult battles many freedom fighters face: sometimes it might actually be easier to gather a bunch of men with guns and force a change. Changing peoples’ actions can be done quickly; changing their attitudes is more difficult and less flashy.

Curiously, the song “Amazing Grace” itself isn’t as central as one might expect. It’s heard a few times, such as when Wilberforce sings it later in the film, a sign of his healing. But it’s less the hearing of the song than the *idea* it represents that’s the point of the movie. The grace is that to be rediscovered by all those complicit in the sin of selling humans: they are blind wretches despite their wealth, and Wilberforce is trying to make them see again. The sparing use is effective.

If I have one complaint, it must go back to my opening statement: the movie gives short shrift to the Black character. International singing superstar Youssou N'Dour gets to play the grateful victim as Oloudaqh Equiano, a former slave who’s joined the abolitionist groups. Equiano was instrumental, we’re told, selling thousands of copies of his autobiography. The problem is we never *see* any details of his life. Aside from a couple of speaking scenes, he’s relegated to the background: signing books, sitting in Parliament looking solemn, a tear rolling down his cheek. I wanted more on this remarkable man, whose story is probably every bit as fascinating as Wilberforce’s--if not more so

Don’t go into “Amazing Grace” expecting fast-paced action or a fantastic soundtrack. This is a deliberately paced movie that illustrates how slowly the wheels of change grind on their course. It suffers a bit from the marginalization of the other abolitionists, especially the Black ones. But in the end, Gruffud’s engaging performance makes it a thought-provoking affair. I’d just like to hope that next year I can be reviewing the “Equiano Story”.

Starring Dalia Hernandez, Mayra Serbulo, Gerardo Taracena, Raoul Trujillo, Rudy Youngblood

Directed by Mel Gibson

Produced by Ned Dowd, Vicki Christianson, Mel Gibson

Written by Allen Covert (Screenplay), Nick Swardson (Screenplay), Adam Sandler (Story By)

Distributed by Buena Vista Pictures Distribution, Eagle Pictures (Italy)

Release Date: December 8th, 2006

Are We Done Yet?

Category: Comedy and Sequel Rating: PG for some innuendos and brief language. Run Time: 1hr. 32 min.

Starring Earvin Johnson, Ice Cube , Nia Long, Aleisha Allen, Philip Bolden

Directed by Steve Carr

Produced by Aaron Ray (II), Heidi Santelli, Steve Carr

Written by Hank Nelken, Eric Wald, Robert Ramsey, Matthew Stone, Hank Nelken,  Norman Panama (Story from source material from screenplay: "Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House"), Melvin Frank (Story from source material from screenplay: "Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House"), Steven Gary Banks, Claudia Grazioso

Distributed by Sony Pictures Releasing

Release Date: April 4th, 2007

Synopsis: Now married to Suzanne, Nick Persons has bought a quiet suburban house to escape the rat race of the big city and to provide more space for his new wife and kids Lindsey and Kevin. But when his new home quickly becomes a costly "fixer upper" and he finds himself at the mercy of an eccentric contractor, Nick's suburban dream becomes a riotous nightmare.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C

As a family man I have to take everybody to see this stuff, unfortunately Ice Cube must know this. Luckily the action is swift and the movie lasts less than 90 minutes, parents may find themselves silently chanting the title until the credits roll. "Are We Done Yet?" purports to be a remake of the 1948 Cary Grant-Myrna Loy charmer, "Mr. Blandings Builds his Dream House," which also inspired another obtuse remake, 1986's "The Money Pit."

Are We Done Yet? is the sequel to Ice Cube's 2005 comedy Are We There Yet? In it, a newly married Nick and Suzanne are suburbia bound and invest their money in a fixer-upper home. The house turns out to be in the worst condition possible, and the family must endure a never-ending parade of plumbers, electricians, and contractors in order to get the job done.

I didn’t like the first movie, "Are We Done Yet?" which is far less about the terrors these kids contrive, and more about the nightmare of homeownership. Nick and Suzanne (pregnant with twins, by the way) purchase a five-bedroom house -- oh, who are we kidding? It's a chateau, one apparently made of paper. You can't look at a wall without putting a hole in it. Fixing the chandelier that crashes through the dining room table, repairing the dry rot, and restoring the power aren't tasks Nick can handle alone. Though in typical sitcom-dad fashion, he tries.

For comic exclamation and wholesale wackiness, John C. McGinley is brought in for too many scenes as the real-estate agent, contractor, midwife, and more. He always has more bad news about this lemon of a house, and there's something vain and grotesque about the way McGinley wrestles the movie away from everybody with his hamming. He's frequently put in tight clothes or is shirtless for no reason. I can't recall a character performance so predicated upon the camera's needless worship of a fatless body.

The problem with the new film is that Ice Cube is too cool for the plot's nonsense. He even admits it saying. "What I like about Nick is, he doesn't go from being cool to corny. You know, he keeps his personality and tries to fit it in with this family life which is, you know, what most people try to do. And I think people really identify with him. You know, especially adults who are getting into this situation."

The Astronaut Farmer

Category: Drama Rating: PG for thematic material, peril and language. Run Time: 1hr. 42 min.

Starring Billy Bob Thornton, Virginia Madsen, Bruce Willis, Bruce Dern, Tim Blake Nelson

Directed by Michael Polish

Produced by Geyer Kosinski, Robert Benjamin, Paula Weinstein

Written by Michael Polish, Mark Polish

Distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution

Release Date: February 23rd, 2007

Synopsis: From the time he was a child, Charles Farmer had only one goal: to be an astronaut. Earning his degree in aerospace engineering and joining the Air Force as a pilot, Farmer was a natural for NASA's astronaut training program and was well on his way when a family situation forced him to drop out. But Farmer was not a man to let anything stand in the way of a dream. He spent the next decade and every cent he had building his own rocket in a barn on his ranch in Story, Texas, working toward the day when he could triumphantly launch it into space. By himself. Sharing his vision are his wife Audie and their children--daughters Sunshine and Stanley, and 15-year-old Shepard, already a budding engineer and eager to serve as "mission control" on the big day. Even Audie's father Hal, on hand to lend moral support, can see how his son-in-law's unwavering commitment has inspired the family with a common dream. On the eve of the long-anticipated launch, an unexpected problem arises. Farmer's efforts to secure 10,000 pounds of high-grade fuel catches the attention of the FBI--and subsequently the media, who encamp in droves outside his gate. Farmer finds himself depicted on TV screens worldwide as a renegade hero, inspiring an outpouring of popular support, while simultaneously drawing heavy fire from the FBI, CIA, FAA, NASA and the U.S. Military, all of whom see him as a threat and will do anything they can think of to shut him down. But Farmer knows this is his only chance--not only to reach his goal of breaking through the Earth's atmosphere but to instill in his children the courage to pursue their own ideals and never give up, no matter the odds. He will not let himself be grounded again.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C-

Considering that we have a diaper wearing female astronaut beating people up, now might not be the ideal time to release a movie about an astronaut with an obsession. The movie opens with Billy Bob Thornton riding a horse on a Texas ranch while wearing an official astronaut's outfit, (you can’t buy these uniforms ) like a 7-year-old who wants to keep wearing his Halloween costume in the first few days of December. I should have taken my family and left immediately but I did not so therefore you will have to stay and read this review. Billy Bob Thornton plays the farmer and would-be astronaut, conveniently named Charlie Farmer. This film is neither a satire nor a fantasy. As one person who saw it said “it's an infuriating and formulaic attempt at inspirational drama that panders so appallingly to an American audience hungry for uplifting tales of derring-do that it feels insulting from start to finish”. Actually The Astronaut Farmer demonstrates that not every dream is worth pursuing. At least not the belabored one of a narcissistic crackpot masquerading as an admirable dreamer.

Unlike those who work for bona fide space exploration efforts that gather scientific data and knowledge, Farmer seems to want to go to space simply because "it's there." Meanwhile, his children face homelessness. Virginia Madsen plays his patient and overly supportive wife. This is not a movie that takes time to explain how Charlie, apparently working on his own with a blowtorch and lot of trips to Home Depot, is able to construct a massive ship that would surely cost millions of dollars and would require the expertise of dozens of technicians with multiple degrees in rocket science and other fields of specialty. This is a dumb movie that features Bruce Willis, as a space shuttle commander who shows up at Charlie's farm one day, downs a few beers, tells Charlie he's crazy and then laughs with cartoonishly wild glee at the sheer heart and moxie of the astronaut farmer.

You've also got the FAA breathing down Charlie's neck, the worldwide media turning him into a celebrity, and lots of speeches about how a man is nothing if he doesn't have dreams. The best part is when circumstances unwind in such a fashion that Charlie nearly dies and the rocket is destroyed -- and with the help of his family, who apparently are collectively loonier than he is, Charlie makes the decision to build and launch a second rocket. At that point he's officially more productive than NASA in its entirety if he makes it into space. I won't spoil it and say but this is one lift off that did not happen for me.

ATL	Category: Comedy, Drama and Musical/Performing Arts Rating: PG-13 for drug content, language, sexual material and some violence. Run Time: 1 hr. 45 min.

Starring: Tip "T.I." Harris, Lauren London, Antwan "Big Boi" Patton, Mykelti Williamson, Keith David

Directed by Chris Robinson (IV)

Produced by James Lassiter, Will Smith, Jody Gerson

Written by Tina Gordon Chism (screenplay), Antwone Fisher (story)

Distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution

Release Date: March 31st, 2006.

Synopsis: ATL tells the story of four teens coming of age in a working class Atlanta neighborhood where hip-hop music and roller skating rule. As the group prepares for life after high school, challenges on and off the rink bring about turning points in each of their lives. The film is loosely based on Dallas Austin and Tionne Watkins' experiences growing up in Atlanta and hanging out at a local skating rink called "Jellybeans".

Eyecalone Says: Overall: C+

Loosely based on the experiences of Dallas Austin and Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins growing up in Atlanta, ATL is a cautionary, coming of age tale. It marks what are essentially the big screen debuts of rappers "T.I." Harris (Rashad) and Antwan "Big Boi" Patton. Both perform solidly in their rolls though "Big Boi" plays a character that doesn't require much depth, as a neighborhood drug dealer. The story is narrated by "T.I." who the film also centers around and follows his experience as a high-school senior, as well as a that of 3 of his close friends, trying to figure out "what comes next". Also central to the story is Rashad's younger brother Ant, played by Evan Ross (Diana Ross' son) who could play teenage "R&B sensation Chris Brown in a biopic one day,  and his struggle to resist "street life". 

ATL is a decent film but where the movie fails, which will probably fly clean over the heads of younger or less seasoned movie viewers, is in the dialogue and acting departments. The acting isn't terrible but the interaction between T.I.'s character and his group of friends is not very smooth or amusing even when it's supposed to be and the dialogue seems to miss out on countless opportunities to say something poignant that might stick with people though it's not for lack of trying. It also seems to be confused about it's setting. The character's lives have an "innocence" reminiscent of growing up in maybe the late 70's or the early, pre-crack cocaine 80's but the decor and setting is all current day, which doesn't seem to match at all. The roller-skating scenes are fun and visually stimulating however, and the characters do make you care about them, at least a little. Overall ATL has a good heart and a decent message and is a good movie to take a younger teenager to see. It's not very violent, or vulgar, and outside of an excessive amount of backside close-ups on what are supposed to teenage girls, it's not excessively sexual.

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Shiesty Says: Overall: C-

Urban "Coming of Age" flicks are my personal favorite genre. Movies like "Boyz In Da' Hood", "Juice", and the criminally underrated "Baby Boy" showed that you don't necessarily need a strong plot if you've got solid character development and enough intriguing turns of events to keep things interesting. Perhaps the makers of "ATL.", a thinly veiled star vehicle for Atlanta rapper T.I., need to spend a bit more time absorbing the best aspects of those movies. Instead of another "Drumline", we're given a long play music video with a million cameos that's more damaging to black women than anything you'll catch on 106th and Park.

Following a few weeks in the lives of a group of Atlanta high-schoolers, ATL feels more like a handful of poorly dialogued vignettes than a cohesive film. After his parents die in a tragic car accident, Rashad (T.I.) has to raise his rambunctious younger brother Ant (Evan Ross, Diana's son), while juggling his final year of high school and running the family cleaning business with his reclusive uncle ("Forest Gump's" Mykelti Williamson). Despite this demanding lifestyle, Rashad finds time to hang out with his crew, and plays cat and mouse with a lovely "hoodrat" named New-New (Lauren London) who seems to be hiding a secret or two. Directed by music video vet Chris Robinson, the movie is stylishly shot, with lots of MTV worthy flash and a radio friendly soundtrack. But the good news ends there.

The movie's first problem is casting. While T.I. is more than adequate as Rashad, he just looks way too old to be playing a high school senior. With the face of a 30 year old, and the body of a pre-teen, he never quite looks the part. This makes his courtship with New-New, who looks every bit of 15 very distracting. Illegally distracting. Think R. Kelly distracting. Of course, with this being T.I.'s movie, such details were probably trivial to the producers. Equally troubling is the portrayal of all the female characters. The women in this movie run the gamut of assorted skanks, skeezers, and scallywags. New-New's friends are a couple of ghetto bunny twins who boost clothes when they're not busy stealing money from their mother, who of course is your typical ghetto lip smacking and neck twisting stereotype. New-New is just as hooded out herself, which makes the movie's illogical plot twist even sillier. Music video fans will probably dig the Buffie the Body cameo as "Big Booty Trudy", but to me it just looked like more of the same. With so many black men (including Will Smith, and Antwone Fisher, who penned the script that could just have easily been written by a 4th grader) involved in the creation of this film, it's puzzling, if not downright insulting, that they couldn't put a single decent black female in this movie.

Loosely based on the lives of producer Dallas Austin and Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins of R&B group TLC, the film can't quite decide whether it wants to be a comedy or drama. It fails equally on both accounts. While T.I.'s acting debut is mostly impressive, ATL lacks enough substance to be anything more than a regrettable loss of $10.

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The Benchwarmers

Category: Comedy and Sports Rating: PG-13 for crude and suggestive humor, and for language. Run Time: 1hr. 25min.

Starring Rob Schneider, David Spade, Jon Heder, Jon Lovitz, Craig Kilborn

Directed by Dennis Dugan

Produced by Todd Garner, Derek Dauchy, Jack Giarraputo

Written by Allen Covert (Screenplay), Nick Swardson (Screenplay), Adam Sandler (Story By)

Distributed by Sony Pictures Releasing

Release Date: April 7th, 2006

Synopsis: Gus and his nerdy buddies, Richie and Clark, are scouted by a millionaire nerd, Mel, who wants to form a baseball team and compete with the meanest Little League teams in the state. A stellar ballplayer, Gus becomes a role model for nerds and outcasts everywhere. But when his fans learn that Gus, himself, was once a school bully, they feel outraged and betrayed, until Gus takes extraordinary steps to win back their admiration and trust.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C+

The Benchwarmers was a cool movie that had some flaws in its story line. The casting included the Hollywood usuals as the characters for these roles because these actors have basically played them before. For once, Schneider actually plays the straight man, who along with his nerdy friends Spade and Jon Heder, puts together an underdog baseball team to prove that everyone has a right to enjoy the game. And how do we know the kids on their team are nerds? Because they like Star Wars, of course! If The Bad News Bears remake was too sophisticated for you, this might be your thing. When the trio comes to the aid of a nerdy kid hassled by some burly pre-teens, they wind up playing the bullies in a pick-up baseball game. Led by Gus's impressive pitching and hitting, the men demolish the team. The same thing happens the next day, leading the tormented boy's billionaire father (Jon Lovitz) to come up with a plan: He wants the three adults to play in a baseball tournament against the county's Little League teams to prove that geeks and weirdoes are athletes too. The movie contains some crude humor so be aware when taking small children, but otherwise this is funny stuff at times showing us the way that life should be, not that it will change, yet it still lets adults see how truly cruel children can be. 

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Big Momma's House 2

Category: Action/Adventure, Comedy, Crime/Gangster and Sequel Rating: PG-13 for some sexual humor and a humorous drug reference. Run Time: 1 hr. 39 min.

Starring: Martin Lawrence, Nia Long, Zachary Levi, Emily Procter, Mark Moses

Directed by John P. Whitesell

Produced by David T. Friendly, Beau Flynn, Jeremiah Samuels

Written by Don Rhymer

Distributed by 20th Century Fox Distribution

Release Date: January 27th, 2006

Synopsis: The continuing adventures of master-of-disguise FBI special agent Malcolm Turner. This time he must go undercover as Big Momma to nail his ex-partner's murderer. While undercover in the house of the suspected criminal, Malcom grows attached to the suspect's three children.

Shiesty Says: Overall: D-

Coonin' is in vogue right now. From Snoop Dogg's Chrysler commercial, to VH1's dreadful The Flavor Of Love, to those awful Tony Sinclair Tangueray ads, black men actin' the fool seems to be everywhere you look. I'm sure some will say it never went out of style, and I'll partially agree, but for these reasons, I wasn't particularly enthused about Big Momma's House 2. An obvious last ditch effort to keep Martin Lawrence's career on life support, BMH2 fails to even reach the low standards of its’ predecessor. If you were ever looking for a surefire way to blow $10, your search is over. 

Picking up where the original left off, BMH2 finds Malcolm Turner (Lawrence) working an FBI desk job at the wishes of his expectant now-wife Sherri (Nia Long, whose career sadly appears to be on its' last legs also). But when his ex-partner is murdered, it's time to pull the fat suit outta' the closet and presto-chango, you've got Malcolm back in the field, fighting crime dressed as a 2006 version of Hattie McDaniel. I won't bother you with the rest of the details, nothing here is memorable. The plot is color-by-numbers, and the laughs are few and far between. 

The original movie did manage to be entertaining because Lawrence was somewhere near the top of his game, and while the sight of a black man in drag will never be the most pleasing visual, his natural comedic ability won you over. But after a string of stinkers (Rebound, Black Knight, National Security, Nothing to Lose, wow, what's that smell?) it's clear that Martin's box office magic expired with Bad Boys II. Here, his jokes fall flat, he looks badly aged, and the usual “white folks doing black folks stuff” humor that defines his movies is beyond tired. Watching him cavorting around as a 300 pound black woman teaching white kids to "drop it like it's hot" is pathetic. And sad. And embarrassing. Hell, it's an affront to black grandmas everywhere. Here's to you Mr. Lawrence. You made us laugh, you made us smile, you made us all want to have cool homies, a down-ass chick, and money green leather sofas like you did on "Martin". But sadly, your day has passed. Seeing you now is like watching a 40 year old Michael Jordan hoist up 20 foot fade-aways as a Washington Wizard: something is badly out of place and out of time. Please, please, please, while you still have some shred of dignity remaining, call it a day. And whatever you do, don't blow $10 on this crap. There are far better ways to spend your hard earned cash. Invest it in a 529 for your kid. Buy a book. Donate to the UNCF. Hell, blow it on a bag of weed. Something. Anything but this.

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Black Snake Moan

Category: Drama Rating: R for strong sexual content, language, some violence and drug use. Run Time: 1hr. 55 min.

Starring Samuel L. Jackson, Christina Ricci, Justin Timberlake, John Cothran Jr, Michael Raymond-James

Directed by Craig Brewer

Produced by Ron Schmidt, John Singleton, Stephanie Allain

Written by Craig Brewer

Distributed by Paramount Vantage

Release Date: March 2nd, 2007

Synopsis: There was a time when Lazarus played the blues; a time he got Bojo's Juke Joint shakin' back in the day. Now he lives them. Bitter and broken from a cheating wife and a shattered marriage, Lazarus' soul is lost in spent dreams and betrayal's contempt--until Rae. Half naked and beaten unconscious, Rae is left for dead on the side of the road when Lazarus discovers her. The God-fearing, middle-aged black man quickly learns that the young white woman he's nursing back to health is none other than the town tramp from the small Tennessee town where they live. Worse, she has a peculiar anxiety disorder. He realizes when the fever hits, Rae's affliction has more to do with love lost than any found. Abused as a child and abandoned by her mother, Rae is used by just about every man in the phone book. She tethers her only hope to Ronnie, but escape to a better life is short-lived when Ronnie ships off for boot camp. Desperation kicks in, as a drug-induced Rae reverts to surviving the only way she knows how, by giving any man what he wants to get what she needs--until Lazarus. Refusing to know her in the biblical sense, Lazarus decides to cure Rae of her wicked ways--and vent some unresolved male vengeance of his own. He chains her to his radiator, justifying his unorthodox methods with quoted scripture. Preacher R.L. intervenes, but it is Lazarus and Rae who redeem themselves. Unleashing Rae emotionally, Lazarus unchains his heart, finding love again in Angela. By saving Rae, he frees himself.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C+

For a somewhat controversial movie and much talked about film nobody is saying much about the film Black Snake Moan, now that they have seen it- not even me. I think most people do not know how to react. Honestly Black Snake Moan is the oddest, most indifferent movie I’ve seen about sex and race in my adult life that was not animated. We could call this film “She’s Gotta Have It" meets "Hustle and flow". For those who might have forgot, Craig Brewer did Hustle and Flow and he employs the idea that the main characters are in pain, a technique that he has has some success with. It’s not the same MTV sort of thing this time around. “Black Snake Moan” is a film that will have you thinking about it primarily because of what did not happen, namely Ricci and Samuel L. Jackson did not slap skins, had the old Black scruffy dude with gold teeth and the young blond White gal slapped skins, we would have heard about it before the film was released.

Ironically outside of her boyfriend the nymphomaniac character played by Ricci only experiences sex or intimate contact with Black males, which is odd since her imagery is racially polarizing with Christina Ricci’s image usually in a Confederate Flag praising halter-top. Rapper David Banner and a 13-year old African American child laborer willingly slap skins with Ricci but even as a nymphomaniac we don’t see her getting handled by everybody and that is in part because she is chained to a radiator though we learn to empathize with her character; as we learn why she is a "nympho".

Actually Samuel L. Jackson is the most interesting character in the film as a broken-down blues musician, (who looks like Gator of Jungle Fever) vegetable market gardener whose wife has just walked out on him. Jackson’s character has an undefined and unspoken reverence for White women that is never touched on or explored. I heard some days after the screening that Jackson considers this his best performance - well, maybe it is. He disappears into the role, and a good performance requires understanding of the Blues and intensity, which he supplies in abundance. He channels the blues in a Hip-hop fashion complete with gold teeth and a foul mouth, compare this with the old blues footage provided in the film and you have something different. These are the only “singing” excursions the film takes even with a pop star as a main character. Justin Timberlake plays the toned down version of his Alpha Dog character again. Again he is racist, soft on the inside and projecting tough on the outside. This time when he drops the N-word bomb it has some ”reason” behind it. We never really lean about his character Ronnie, who is the boyfriend of Rae (Ricci). He has enlisted in the service for cloudy reasons, he comes back for cloudy reasons. We are cloudy on much of what this film is supposed to be conveying except the fact that the Black and White sex imagery still keeps people talking and opinionated and The Blues is a perfect forum for that dialogue.

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Blades of Glory

Category: Comedy and Sports Rating: PG-13 for crude and sexual humor, language, a comic violent image, and some drug references. Run Time: 1hr. 33 min.

Starring Will Ferrell, Jon Heder, Will Arnett, Amy Poehler, Jenna Fischer

Directed by Will Speck, Josh Gordon

Produced by Marty Ewing, Ben Stiller, Stuart Cornfeld

Written by Jeff Cox, Craig Cox, John Altschuler, Dave Krinsky, Busy Philipps

Distributed by Paramount Pictures

Release Date: March 30th, 2007

Synopsis: Perhaps nowhere in sports is the marriage of athleticism and grace more evident than in the arena of world champion pairs figure skating--the lifts, the jumps, the routines. It's an elegant world, a rarefied universe, a noble place populated by the crème de la crème of skating elite. Well, it used to be. When the macho, swaggering Chazz Michael Michaels takes to the rink, he is the rock star of the arena, leaving a trail of thrashed ice and shrieking female fans in his wake. The only competitor who can match Michaels? scores is the driven former child prodigy, Jimmy MacElroy. Spotted as a youth executing triple lutzes on the frozen pond of an orphanage, MacElroy was whisked away to days of endless training, and now stands as the picture of poise, the personification of the highest ideals of the men's sport. Michaels and MacElroy have met in finals rounds before, but their latest head-to-head at the World Championships--when they tie for first--is more than either one can bear, and their longstanding rivalry erupts into a no-holds-barred fight. The ensuing brawl not only sets fire to the World Championships helpless mascot, but lands both athletes in hot water: Chazz and Jimmy are called before the sport?s governing board, stripped of their gold medals and banned from the sport for life. Now, three-and-a-half years later, both men are still trying to find their way in a world without competitive skating. Michaels has devolved into a drunken party machine, skating as a costumed evil wizard in a kiddie ice review, and MacElroy has been banished to the shoe department of a chain sporting goods store. But then, inspiration (in the form of an over-friendly, former stalker of Jimmy's) strikes, and a loophole emerges. To skate again, all Chazz and Jimmy have to do is set aside their long festering hatred of one another and join forces--as the first male/male figure skating pair to compete in the history of the sport.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C

If you thought Wild Hogs was really, really gay and you did not like that then you might want to skip this comedy with funny man Will Ferrell. Following Ron Burgundy, regional TV icon in "Anchorman," and Ricky Bobby, polestar of NASCAR cool in last summer's hit "Talladega Nights," Ferrell takes on another arrogant but soft-centered superstar in "Blades of Glory." This time he's Chazz Michael Michaels, the Garth Brooks of the ice, hot-shot competitive skater and unsteadily recovering sex addict brought low by his own temper, resurrected only when he learns to skate nice and become one half of a guy/guy skating team opposite feminine male skater Jon Heder.

The concept is gay, and we should assume Heder is but he really is not in practice. The men have powder blue outfits, stuffed animals, reflective jumpsuits, a tattoo centered above the butt, Farrah Fawcett hair, sequins, a polar bear rug, poetry, fringe, a pink sash, a "Breakfast at Tiffany's" poster, a shiny silver scarf, homoerotic skating routines (crotch to face, crotch to butt, crotch to crotch, crotch to crotch again, crotch to crotch again again), then we see cranberry-colored stole, a "Kristi Yamaguchi lifetime achievement award," headbands, a hankering for cosmetics and a $12,000 hairbrush."

They tie for American gold at the world championships; a brawl ensues, and they're disgraced. Three years later Chazz works kiddie shows, drunk, while Jimmy fits bratty kids for skates in a sporting goods store. Then Jimmy's personal homosexual stalker informs him of a fabulous loophole in the skating federation's rules. He can compete again, if he switches divisions. His old coach brings Chazz into the equation, and while Chazz struggles with his macho distaste for his partner's girly ways, they're guided toward destiny and ultimate mastery of the most dangerous skating maneuver known to humankind, the Iron Lotus. The film's PG-13 rating refers to "a comic violent image," depicting what happens when the Iron Lotus goes awry. It's a North Korean diss and another way pop culture deals with politics subtlety. Jenna Fischer is sweetly amusing as Jimmy's crush, deployed by her skating-fiend brother (Will Arnett) and sister (Amy Poehler) to break up the man/man skating act so they can remain the top duo. This has an official fill because Jim Lampley whose voice is known in sports for commentary officially narrates much of it making this ridiculous spoof somewhat legitimate. Even with all of this fundamentally "Blades of Glory" works; it's full of laughs both subtle and mostly ridiculous. Some of the ruthless rivalry business grows a bit tiresome. But "Blades of Glory" takes its satiric subject seriously enough to keep the payoffs coming. Hey, you guys, figure skating - it's girly!

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Blood Diamond

Category: Drama, Romance, Thriller and Crime/Gangster Rating: R for strong violence and language. Run Time: 2hr. 18 min.

Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Djimon Hounsou, Jennifer Connelly, James Purefoy, Arnold Vosloo

Directed by Edward Zwick

Produced by Len Amato, Benjamin Waisbren, Kevin De La Noy

Written by Edward Zwick (2nd rewrite), Marshall Herskovitz (2nd rewrite), Charles Leavitt (Story), Charlie Mitchell (Story)

Distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution, Warner Bros. Pictures International

Release Date: December 8th, 2006

Synopsis: Set against the backdrop of civil war and chaos in 1990's Sierra Leone, Danny Archer, a South African mercenary, and Solomon Vandy, a Mende fisherman are joined in a common quest to recover a rare pink diamond that can transform their lives. While in prison for smuggling, Archer learns that Solomon--who was taken from his family and forced to work in the diamond fields--has found and hidden the extraordinary rough stone. With the help of Maddy Bowen, an American journalist whose idealism is tempered by a deepening connection with Archer, the two men embark on a trek through rebel territory, a journey that could save Solomon's family and give Archer the second chance he thought he would never have.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: A-

Blood Diamonds is a safe and entertaining, yet educating Hollywood film. It gives the public some insight into the problems with the Diamond industry, which has been an exploiter of several African countries for decades. It moves fast and focuses on the effects of “conflict diamonds” but deals little with the origins that cause “Blood Diamonds” or “conflict diamonds”. A lot of attention is paid to the murder, mayhem, and chaos that has resulted in activist pressuring the Diamond industry to create “The Kimberley Process”, which according to the industry’s website is a joint government, international diamond industry, and civil society initiative to stem the flow of conflict diamonds (rough diamonds that are used by rebel movements to finance armed conflicts). The trade in these illicit stones has contributed to devastating conflicts in countries such as Angola , Cote d ‘ Ivoire , the Democratic Republic of Congo and Sierra Leone.

The Kimberley Process Certification scheme is an innovative, voluntary system that imposes extensive requirements on participants to certify that shipments of rough diamonds are free from conflict gems. Kimberley process participants are said to account for approximately 99.8% of the global production of rough diamonds. Personally I think it’s not enough but it’s a great start and a necessary movement. The attitude toward Black African exploitation has historically been uncaring as evidenced by the film’s actors constantly saying “T.I.A.” in regard to all bad events (translation of T.I.A. “This is Africa”). It’s a term that means anything goes here – although this cynical mantra by Leonardo Dicaprio’s character “Danny” and his fellow mercenaries is tossed around, it’s real and evidenced by many.

This indifference to black suffering is due to greed. Greed has caused high profile people to misrepresent the issue. For example former Civil Rights activist Ben Chavis appeared on WBAI (99.5 FM) radio show in NY hosted by Gary Byrd defending the diamond industry, saying how great DeBeers and the diamond industry were in “showing him” around. Of course ever since charges of sexual inappropriateness were leveled against him by a woman inside the Nation of Islam his career has stalled and he has turned into Russell Simmons lackey. Russell Simmons meanwhile, has turned into the biggest apologist for the diamond industry since Debeer himself. You also have people like Jesse Jackson who had coddled and befriended "kleptocrats" like President Charles Taylor of Liberia (who had also exploited the situation). As the rumors goes Jesse received direct payment of “conflict diamonds” in a small pouch to keep quiet about various transgressions by Taylor’s regime. Add the fact that the blood thirsty R.U.F. as depicted n the film are spinning the truth by producing a documentary on “blood diamonds” called “The Empire in Africa ”. Unfortunately many people that some would suspect might want to help and clear the air on the issue are motivated by their own selfish desires.

Director Edward Zwick has proven his merit in the past with films such as “Glory”, “Courage under Fire”, and “The Last Samurai”, and he comes just as strong in Blood Diamonds. Zwick gets superb performances from DiCaprio, (Danny Archer - Mercenary from Zimbabwe ), Jennifer Connelly (Maddy Bowen-American Journalist), Djimon Hounsou (Solomon Vandy- Fisherman and David Harewood (Captain Poison a super villain of the R.U.F. in Sierra Leone )

Blood Diamond takes us back to the Sierra Leone of the late 1990s, where the anti-gov’t rebel forces (R.U.F) are pillaging villages worse than any cinematic depictions of Vikings or pirates, and converting kids into child soldiers. They take Hounosu’s son, Dia and transform him into a “gangsta” rap listening, AK-47 wielding, heroin smoking, beer drinking, brainwashed kid who believes his father is a traitor. His father wants his son back and his father is central because he finds a huge pink diamond that he has hidden. The ruthless White mercenaries and equally ruthless Black "kleptocrats" will do just about anything to get it. Blood Diamond chronicles the smuggling of illicit stones from Sierra Leone into Liberia , where they can legally be sold to legitimate diamond merchants in Europe who won’t ask any questions about the origins of the gems. It doesn’t show us how the typical $5,000 ring your favorite celebrity brought contains stones that were in such abundance that they went for a mere $100 bucks. As Eyecalone and Morpheus entailed in columns the fact that America‘s love affair with diamonds is the result of a DeBeers marketing campaign is pretty awful, but even crazier is that diamonds can be made synthetically. They can even duplicate the more expensive “pink” or “yellow” African diamonds that J-Lo and Kobe’s wife wear that run over $1 million dollars.

Blood Diamond is intense orchestrated chaos. Between it all Zwick offers some real tidbits of truth and history for those paying attention between the gunfire and explosions. The film connects some of the dots but not nearly all of the who, what, why, where, and how. In fact in the film, as often in real life, the originators of the conflict leave unscathed. However, if Blood Diamond can get people to at least ask whether their diamonds have been sanctioned by the Kimberley Process the next time they want to buy jewelry, let’s make a part two.

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Borat

Category: Comedy and Adaptation Rating: R for pervasive strong crude and sexual content including graphic nudity, and language. Run Time: 1 hr. 22 min.

Starring: Sacha Baron Cohen, Kenneth Davitian, Luenell , Pat Haggerty, Alan Keyes

Directed by Larry Charles

Produced by Monica Levinson, Dan Mazer (II), Jay Roach

Written by Sacha Baron Cohen, Dan Mazer (II), Peter Baynham, Ant Hines, Todd Phillips, Sacha Baron Cohen (Source material from character)

Distributed by 20th Century Fox Distribution

Release Date: January 27th, 2006

Synopsis: Borat Sagdiyev, Kazakhstan's sixth most famous man and a leading journalist from the State run TV network, travels from his home in Kazakhstan to the U.S. to make a documentary. On his cross-country road-trip, Borat meets real people in real situations with hysterical consequences.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: B+

Breach

Category: Drama, Thriller and Biopic Rating: PG-13 for violence, sexual content, and language. Run Time: 1hr. 50 min.

Starring Chris Cooper, Ryan Phillippe, Laura Linney, Dennis Haysbert, Bruce Davison

Directed by Billy Ray

Produced by Scott Kroopf, Adam Merims, Sidney Kimmel

Written by Adam Mazer, William Rotko, Billy Ray

Distributed by Universal Pictures Distribution

Release Date: February 16th, 2007

Synopsis: Eric O'Neill (Ryan Phillippe) is promoted to a job inside FBI headquarters working for respected agent Robert Hanssen (Chris Cooper). Then O'Neill learns his true mission: finding proof that Hanssen has been selling American secrets to the Soviet Union for years.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: A

"Breach" is based on the, true-life story of Robert Hanssen, the FBI agent turned spy-for-the-Soviets. This Republican Benedict Arnold betrayal is viewed as the most egregious security breach in U.S. history. Before his arrest on espionage charges in 2001, Hanssen spent most of his 25-year career selling classified information to Russia/The Soviet Union – a real capitalist conservative! Mr. Hanssen earned $1.4 million and some diamonds which is not all that much. In the process revealing the identities of KGB double agents, thus getting them killed. He also provided top-level national security information and the identity of U S agents, many of whom were never heard from again. Today he sits in a super-maximum security facility in Colorado with no chance for parole.

Films based on true stories can be tough because we already know the outcome. This leaves it up to the actors to sell the role, and Chris Cooper deliver an Oscar worthy performance in "Breach”. Cooper, as Chicago-born Hanssen is a self-righteous, pious man who attends mass every single morning. In real life the spy was a supernumerary in the conservative Catholic order Opus Dei, (Critics of Opus Dei have argued that it is cult-like, secretive, and highly controlling much like Hansseen). Hansseen frowns on any sort of “moral weaknesses” in others. He is a walking contradiction as a devoted family man, lover of strippers, closet drinker and rabid porn buff; he makes videos of himself boning his wife. Hanssen seems to be all about his marriage and his family and his devotion to his country, and he proudly declares he couldn't care less about winning promotions or awards - even as he is furious about his lack of recognition. He serves his God and his country and his family, and to him there's no higher calling. Hanssen wasn't a field agent but an agency intelligence agent/ a computer systems and technology expert who has buried a lot of resentment under the devout Catholic persona. He was -- is -- a mystery of compartmentalization, and that is how the great, gray-faced actor Chris Cooper plays him. It's an unnerving performance, not least in the piousness that walks hand in hand with subterranean duplicity.

Another good performance is by Laura Linney who stars as FBI Special Agent Kate Burroughs, who is convinced, that agent Hanssen is a traitor. She's been gathering material on him for years - but she's still looking for that smoking gun. Burroughs, who has never married and seems to have no life outside the bureau, believes her entire career will be a washout if she can't nail Hanssen.

Last but not least Eric O'Neill is played by Ryan Phillippe (The real Mr. O’Neill, now a lawyer, served as a consultant on the film, which helps explains why it feels true in tone and texture.) who was the one who primarily cracked the case. O’Neil is his secretary and a mole to trap a mole. Initially he's completely overmatched by a boss who seems to possess almost supernatural powers. One scene has Hanssen returning to his office, sniffing the air like a TSA-trained dog, and casually telling O'Neill that he'll be in serious pain if he ever goes into his office uninvited again. O'Neill grows attached to Hanssen and even begins to regard him as something of a father figure, even as Linney prods O'Neill to do whatever it takes (including risking his marriage) to nail the bastard. What’s best is that it’s a spy film without slinky femme fatales, no poisoned darts or state-of-the-art widgets. However the espionage makes the movie such a compelling and eerily effective little drama. Add in the little dialogue perks by the characters that teach us that the FBI is a gun culture and intelligence gathering agents are not respected but the cowboy types run the show and we can see why even in a post 9/11 world we are still not safe.

The Breakup

Category: Comedy Rating: PG-13 for sexual content, some nudity and language. Run Time: 1hr. 46 min.

Synopsis: Pushed to the breaking-point after their latest, "why can't you do this one little thing for me?" argument, art dealer Brooke calls it quits with her boyfriend, Gary, who hosts bus tours of Chicago. What follows is a series of remedies, war tactics, overtures and undermining suggested by the former couple's friends, confidantes and the occasional total stranger. When neither ex is willing to move out of the condo they used to share, the only solution is to continue living as hostile roommates until somebody caves. But somewhere between protesting the pool table in the living room, the dirty clothes stacked in the kitchen cupboards and the sports played at sleep-killing volume in the middle of the night, Brooke begins to realize that what she may be really fighting for isn't so much the place but the person.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C

I am not sure who or what fuels the “AnnistonVaughn” interest because men aren’t going crazy over Anniston. She may be cute but she has a body like a 10 year old boy. I refuse to believe that men are actually fawning over her even if she is as sweet as mom’s apple pie. Vince Vaughn at the same time is not a sex symbol so he is not one who has millions of endearing female fans, so how they became so hot or talked about is somewhat a “mediastery”.

I may be wrong but this movie targets White couples relationships because African American or Latino’s don’t break up like that. We break up usually for problems that are financial. However we do have some grievances like those shown in the movie though break ups, takes much more especially for older couples. In The Break Up, Aniston and Vaughn’s, relationship evaporates before it reaches the camera as they are breaking up 10 minutes into the film.

It’s an old story that maybe 99% of us have lived and yet so many wanted to see this film. The biggest unresolved question here is why we’re paying $9.50, plus popcorn, for something we can presumably get at home for free. Jennifer Aniston’s split from Brad Pitt last year and her reported romance that began with Vince Vaughn while filming “The Break-Up” helped keep the movie in the public eye mostly because American media somehow considers this personal stuff, news WORTHY.

Even if you don’t care to see this film you know who they are because “They’re always in the press,” said Nikki Rocco, head of distribution for Universal, which released “The Breakup.” “Every time you turn around, somebody’s talking about Jennifer, or Jennifer and Brad, or Jennifer and Vince. It’s not why we made the movie, though either way the trailers (show the best parts) are selling as a vengeful romantic farce a la “The War of the Roses”? Turns out it’s the over rated movie of the year. Some films mix comedy and drama to arrive at a higher plane. “The Break-Up” relies mostly on star power and an occasional laugh.

It does start with a nice little kick: a pre-title sequence in which charming loudmouth Gary Grobowski (Vaughn) woos the poised Brooke Meyers (Aniston) at a Chicago Cubs game. No matter that Brooke’s sitting five seats over with her boyfriend and Gary’s with his crass best friend, Johnny (Jon Favreau); the two connect, and the credits unfold over candid snapshots of their subsequent long-term relationship. This turns out to be the problem. “The Break-Up” proper begins a few years later, as Brooke and Gary are preparing a dinner for their families in their upscale condo. A misunderstanding over lemons turns into a tiff, which escalates into a fight, and suddenly long-nursed grievances are being aired. She does all the planning and never gets any thanks for it; he can’t unwind after a long day without being nagged about picking up. He doesn’t want to go to the ballet; she doesn’t want a pool table in the living room.

Well, because it might be funny or insightful, or some combination of both. “The Breakup” mostly just lies there, though, alternately adoring and condemning its characters for their puppyish refusal to grow up. The couple’s rift goes nuclear, with each party trying to break the other down via calculated outrages (fake boyfriends, stripper parties) and pulling their friends into the widening vortex.

Because the script insists these two really belong together, though, it never dares get interestingly mean. Vaughn, who co-produced and co-wrote the original story, trades amusingly on the motor mouth routine he used to steal “Wedding Crashers” from Owen Wilson; it’s cheering, as well, to see a movie hero unafraid to be a pushy, overweight schlub. “The Breakup” asks him to evolve into a sensitive male, though, and if he’s not buying it, why should we?

The truth is that couples do drive each other crazy; it says so right there in the small print. Sometimes they grow closer as a result, and sometimes they fall apart, for good reasons and stupid ones. “The Breakup” raises the subject only to dither about the particulars, terrified the audience will be alienated.

Bug	Category: Comedy and Sports Rating: R for some strong violence, sexuality, nudity, language and drug use. Run Time: 1hr. 42min.

Synopsis: A lonely waitress with a tragic past, Agnes rooms in a run-down motel, living in fear of her abusive, recently paroled ex-husband. But when Agnes begins a tentative romance with Peter, an eccentric, nervous drifter, she starts to feel hopeful again--until the first bugs arrive.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: F

This should have been a comedy; it’s guaranteed to be spoofed in a "Scary Movie" or "Epic Movie" sort of parody film. Overall it's a nerve-rending, extremely unpleasant movie experience but Ashley Judd’s acting is compelling. The movie could mean a long stint in the doghouse for its two leads, Ashley Judd and Michael Shannon. It's regrettable, because these actors are clearly giving all they've got to a project that, ultimately, amounts to foolishness. We movie goers have made a lot of assumptions with this film title and just by watching the trailers. In addition we figure Bug has a killer cast and creepy-crawly vibe it can’t miss but it does and the end will surely leave you disappointed.

Director Friedkin gives us a five-character chamber piece, set in a downtrodden motel room out in the sticks. Bi-curious basket case Agnes (Judd) works as a waitress in a redneck bar by night, and shacks up in a motel room, in a pot-, coke-, and booze-induced stupor by day. It's her meager defense against the onslaught of just-paroled ex-husband Jerry who drops by to inflict verbal and physical abuse, not to mention dredging up memories of her long-lost son. The woman's only respite is her girlfriend, R.C., a fellow waitress who's a tad too freewheeling for the reserved Agnes. Twitched-out and fragile, she meets her perfect match in the quiet and shy Peter (Shannon), a war veteran who harbors traumas of his own. Soon after they hook up, Peter becomes increasingly convinced that his body's been colonized by bugs -- bugs laying eggs and traveling up and down his bloodstream. Peter claims to be an escapee from a government medical lab where he was the subject of nefarious tests. He suspects the bugs were bio-engineered by the government to be tools for mind control. Before you know it, Bug has become a full-blown freak show that gives conspiracy theory a bad name. As Peter and the needy Agnes become obsessive partners in mutual destruction it gets hard to feel sorry for them as they go from bad to worse.

Casino Royale

Category: Action/Adventure, Thriller, Adaptation and Sequel Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of violent action, a scene of torture, sexual content and nudity. Run Time: 2hr. 24 min.

Synopsis: James Bond's first 007 mission takes him to Madagascar, where he is to spy on a terrorist Mollaka. Not everything goes as planned and Bond decides to investigate, independently of the MI6 agency, in order to track down the rest of the terrorist cell. Following a lead to the Bahamas, he encounters Dimitrios and his girlfriend, Solange. He learns that Dimitrios is involved with Le Chiffre, banker to the world's terrorist organizations. Secret Service intelligence reveals that Le Chiffre is planning to raise money in a high-stakes poker game in Montenegro at Le Casino Royale. MI6 assigns 007 to play against him, knowing that if Le Chiffre loses, it will destroy his organization. 'M' places Bond under the watchful eye of the beguiling Vesper Lynd. At first skeptical of what value Vesper can provide, Bond's interest in her deepens as they brave danger together--and even torture at the hands of Le Chiffre. In Montenegro, Bond allies himself with Matthis, MI6's local field agent, and Felix Leiter, who is representing the interests of the CIA. The marathon game proceeds with dirty tricks and violence, raising the stakes beyond blood money and reaching a terrifying climax.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C+

This is a new Bond with a boxer's nose, football player body and albino blue eyes. He’s also the most intense and the most athletic of all the Bonds – the change is not in looks but demeanor and in story writing. Even the bad guys are different. It’s hard to pay attention to all the non descript Villains, even the various ultra-evil bad guys who pop in and out. Two hours into the movie you're still not entirely certain which guy is supposed to be the main villain. Speaking of time, at 144 minutes, "Casino Royale" is way too long. The poker game is responsible for that but I guess that the title should have told me that card games were going to be a big part of it all. Anyway the scenes are expertly shot and filled with humorous asides and some violent escapades during breaks in the table action. The final showdown has a card combo scene that you wouldn't see in a real poker game if you played four hours every day for a thousand years. I know that and I don’t play but I am getting beside myself.

Ian Fleming's Bond, is a no-nonsense sort who responds to a "shaken or stirred?" query from a bartender with a dismissive sneer and a sharp retort: "Do I look like I give a damn?" James Bond is super arrogant and super reckless, he kills without remorse and confines his trysting activities to married women, because that makes it easier to stay emotionally uninvolved. Never has a Bond character lost so many fights and been near death so many times he is more like Maxwell smart in that area. Yet in still gone are the fan favorite high-tech gadgets, the buxom femmes fatales with the flat line readings and the comic-book villains who often just about talked Bond to death before leaving him alone to expire, which of course meant he'd just escape and blow them up later.

Bond is still international; we pick up the action in Uganda, Africa, with Bond giving chase to a terrorist bomber in an extended sequence on a construction site that features more death-defying leaps and bounds than a Jet Li film. It's an impressively shot crowd pleaser – so perfect it seems like CGI. I thought to myself can any man really move like that?

Bond's main nemesis is a broke terrorist named Le Chiffre who occasionally sheds a tear of real blood due to some unexplained injury to one eye. However he is not a classic bad guy. Le Chiffre aims to win more than $100 million in a high-stakes poker showdown at the Casino Royale in Montenegro that would have even Michael Jordan saying, "That's too rich for my blood." Overall it’s a little too much story line and less action than I am accustomed to for a bond film, plus it moves away from the real bond theme. This is a Bourne Supremacy type of Bond and for a man who waits on the Bond telethons on TNT. I just thought this bond is really not in the theme of Bond movies that have made their trademark on American pop culture.

Catch A Fire

Category: Drama, Thriller, Politics/Religion and War Rating: PG-13 for thematic material involving torture and abuse, violence and brief language. Run Time: 1hr. 42 min.

Starring Tim Robbins, Derek Luke, Bonnie Henna, Mncedisi Shabangu, Terry Pheto

Directed by Phillip Noyce

Produced by Sydney Pollack, Debra Hayward, Liza Chasin

Written by Shawn Slovo (screenplay), Brenda Goldblatt (story research)

Distributed by Focus Features, Universal Pictures International

Release Date: October 27th, 2006

Synopsis: In South Africa, Patrick Chamusso is a charming and loving husband to his wife Precious, and a caring father to his two young daughters. He works as a foreman at the centrally located Secunda oil refinery, which is a symbol of South Africa's self-sufficiency at a time when the world was protesting the country's oppressive apartheid system. In his spare time, Patrick coaches a local boys' soccer team. Carefully toeing the hard line imposed on blacks by apartheid, Patrick is completely apolitical. Nic Vos is a Colonel in the country's Police Security Branch. The shrewd and charismatic Vos strives to maintain order in volatile situations, which have become more and more frequent as the outlawed activist organization African National Congress (ANC) rallies blacks against apartheid. Vos is also concerned for the safety of his wife and two daughters. He and his family live a world away from the Chamusso family--until the innocent Patrick comes under suspicion and is arrested (in June 1980) for sabotage of the Secunda oil refinery. His alibi is compromised, and Patrick is desperate to shield Precious from a past indiscretion and keep his job. But he is ill-prepared to withstand brutal interrogations by Vos' men. As Vos further insinuates himself into the lives of the Chamussos, to Patrick's shock and shame, Precious herself is jailed and tortured. Although he and Precious are soon released from custody, Patrick is stunned into action and completely reorients his sense of self and purpose. He leaves his family to join up with the ANC. Becoming a rebel fighter and political operative, Patrick is radicalized on behalf of his people and his country. He ultimately envisions a formidable and dangerous follow-up strike against the Secunda refinery, risking his own life and future. Change must and will come, for Patrick and his family, and for South Africa itself.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: B

Based on a true story, Catch A Fire chronicles the transition of Patrick Chamusso from an apolitical cog in the diabolical machine of South African apartheid to a revolutionary and a piston of change in the African National Congress' struggle to end the racist regime. Chamusso, as played by Derek Luke isn't quite what one would call a "sellout", he's more interested in not making any waves. It isn't until his wife is brutally assaulted and tortured by the South African "anti-terror" police detail that Derek Luke's character is finally truly changed, as he leaves his family to join a the African National Congress (ANC) who were fighting to bring an end to the apartheid regime.

Tim Robbins plays a South African police official who could best be described as being part of an "anti-terror" unit. This "anti-terror" theme is rammed home throughout the movie as the oppressive South African state spares no expense in describing any measure of resistance to White minority rule and privilege, and segregation, as "terrorism". Such harping seems clearly intentional and is probably meant so that the viewer can draw parallels between that rhetoric used there and the rhetoric we hear so much of from the U.S. government concerning terror today. I would expect nothing less given the openly progressive politics of Tim Robbins and his knack for subversive theater. Robbins as always is solid in his roll though Derek Luke's portrayal of Patrick Chamusso seem to be missing something as it didn't quite grab me. Overall Catch A Fire is a good film but not nearly as powerful as it could or maybe should be. It seems to have too much big budget fluff at times when independent film grit may have worked better. Ultimately, despite such politically charged and potentially powerful subject matter it doesn't quite seem to do what it's title suggest, though I would recommend seeing it. 

Catch and Release

Category: Comedy, Drama and Romance Rating: PG-13 for sexual content, language and some drug use. Run Time: 2 hr 04 min.

Starring: Jennifer Garner, Timothy Olyphant, Juliette Lewis, Sam Jaeger, Fiona Shaw

Directed by Susannah Grant

Produced by Casey Grant, Ryan Kavanaugh, Lynwood Spinks

Written by: Susannah Grant

Distributed by Sony Pictures Releasing

Release Date: January 26th, 2007

Synopsis: A woman must deal with the untimely death of her husband and the revelation of secrets he kept from her.

TsarBernard (a.k.a. Keith Johnson) Says Overall: C-

Unlike a lot of guys, I don't have a problem seeing romantic comedies. Sleepless in Seattle, Love Jones, Brown Sugar, liked them all. Sure they can be predictable, but they can also be fun, and, dare I say, romantic. But on the flipside, they can also be done so badly that watching them feels like slow torture. Such is the case with Catch and Release.

This film is not engaging, insightful, fun, or romantic in the least. The characters are all forgettable, cliché, and two dimensional, particularly Kevin Smith, who plays the screwy-but-caring Funny Fat Guy. Smith spends all his time looking unkempt in a robe, eating twenty-four seven, and dropping pithy sayings he writes for an herbal tea company. Juliette Lewis is wasted as the quirky, scattered New Age Fruitcake, arguably the most overused movie cliché outside the Hooker-with-a-Heart-of-Gold. You know the type: she serves horrible vegetarian meals, yammers on about spiritual cleansing and auras, is a massage therapist, seems incapable of caring for her Cute Kid, but really is a good person at heart. Double yawn.
And then there's Jennifer Garner, she of the cute smiles and dimples, who seems condemned to play nice girl roles where she can pout and cry and make the audience love her. It's not that Garner's a bad actress (I guess). It's just that the role is very bland. She never really feels convincing in her sorrow. Garner seems to cry on cue, as if we can hear the director yelling "Sad moment!", but the next she's making out with the Bad Boy. As for the performance, Garner and Olyphant have zero chemistry onscreen. It's as if we're seeing early rehearsals, not the finished product. Olyphant's attempt to play the roguish character that's really a nice guy inside comes off as some combination of disinterest, aloofness, even downright strangeness. You just don't see what Grey would like about him, but you don't care enough to give it much thought.

Children of Men

Category: Drama, Science Fiction/Fantasy, Thriller and Adaptation Rating: R for strong violence, language, some drug use and brief nudity. Run Time: 1hr. 54 min.

Starring Julianne Moore, Clive Owen, Michael Caine, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Charlie Hunnam

Directed by Alfonso Cuaron

Produced by Thomas Bliss, Armyan Bernstein, Hilary Shor

Written by Shawn Slovo (screenplay), Brenda Goldblatt (story research)

Distributed by Universal Pictures Distribution

Release Date: December 25th, 2006

Synopsis: A futuristic society faces extinction when no children are born and the human race has lost the ability to reproduce. England has descended into chaos, until an iron-handed warden is brought in to institute martial law. The warden's ability to keep order is threatened when a woman finds that she is pregnant with what would be the first child born in 27 years.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: B-

The year is 2027 and the world as we know it has fallen apart, except for Britain which "soldiers on" (pun intended once you see the film), though it doesn't seem too far behind the rest of the planet. As a society Britain is under some form of Martial Law as it approaches near anarchy. The British government seems concerned with little other than brutally suppressing immigrants and refugees and controlling what is left of modern society. Britain's government is also in an extended armed conflict with a rebel group nicknamed the "Fishes" who are allegedly fighting for immigrant and refugee rights, though judging by the chaotic nature of the society it's entirely plausible that the "Fishes" are just one of several groups in a protracted conflict with the government. It's not clear if human infertility is all that has caused the world to fall to pieces but it's at least a very large part of the reason. No children have been born on earth for the approximately 20 years and most of Britain goes into morning when the nation's youngest person, the 18-year old "Baby Diego" is killed. At least in Britain suicide is advertised and sold on television. It's a truly bleak landscape. The film leaves why women can no longer bare children to your own speculation, all we see is the shocking and miserable results. 

Near future dystopia seems to be the order of the day in American cinema as of late. Whether the warnings of impending doom come via near future science fiction such as Children or Men or V for Vendetta, or documentaries such as, An Inconvenient Truth it seems the error of our current ways is leaking into the Hollywood psyche if not the national consciousness. Based broadly on the 1992 novel by P.D. James, Children of Men is a well directed, brilliantly shot, and visually stunning film despite it's grim subject matter. The acting is solid too, which is no big surprise as Clive Owen rarely makes a bad lead, and usually does a decent job of choosing scripts. Centered around the secret discovery of a pregnant women in Britain, Kee, (played by Clare-Hope Ashitey, a Black woman interestingly enough), who initially is in/under the custody or protection of the rebel group "The Fishes", the film develops around Owen's character attempting to get Kee out of Britain and into the hands of possibly fictitious group known as "The Human Project". The film is quite thought provoking in it's open-ended arrangement. Even the title "Children of Men", seems to have a deeper meaning considering the sterility of women in the film and the chaotic nature of society. Are they attempting to say war and misery are children of mankind or maybe "men" more specifically, or something more profound? There is a scene in the film where the presence of an actual child seems to pause, if only for a second, the mass chaos and warfare taking place throughout the film. It's not really clear what if any argument is being made, but it leaves the viewer with much to ponder. Unfortunately this possible strong point is also the films biggest weakness. There is just too much left unexplained in the film. It's as if the user is dumped into the middle of movie where they've missed most of the relevant background info. Maybe we don't need to know why mankind has lost the ability to reproduce, but it would at least be nice to know how the rebel group at war with the government or the British government itself would hope to use the world's first birth in approximately 2 decades as political leverage. It would also be nice to know what the "Human Project" is and what exactly they are doing to try and restart society. I suppose at some level much of this is left out to keep the film from coming across as "preachy" but there are just too many major questions like these left unanswered. Couple this with the film's highly anticlimactic ending and you have a movie that is good, but with some tweaking, could have great.  

Click

Category: Comedy, Kids/Family and Science Fiction/Fantasy Rating: PG-13 for language, crude and sex related humor and some drug references. Run Time: 1 hr. 38 min.

Starring: Adam Sandler, Kate Beckinsale, Christopher Walken, David Hasselhoff, Sean Astin

Directed by Frank Coraci

Produced by Barry Bernardi, Tim Herlihy, Neal H. Moritz

Written by Steven Koren (screenplay), Mark O'Keefe (screenplay), Tim Herlihy (rewrite)

Distributed by 20th Century Fox Distribution

Release Date: June 23rd, 2006

Synopsis: A workaholic architect, who has been overlooking his family in favor of his career, comes across a universal remote that allows him to perform TiVo-like functions on his life, such as pausing events or fast-forwarding over them. When the remote begins creating its own memory and choosing what to fast-forward over, the man sees how much of his personal life has passed him by and realizes the importance of spending more time with his family.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B+

This is the sleeper of the year so far in my book. Click may look and sound like a comedy, but it’s not. My family and I watched it change into a serious film that adult men who work a lot should see. "Click” is sweet at heart, though, and it touches on areas of genuine unease for many men, including myself. He ends up in the “Beyond” section of Bed Bath & Beyond (good joke, better product placement), where he encounters Morty, who looks like an untenured mad professor and is played by the great Christopher Walken with a perm and line readings just this side of Saturn. Morty’s some sort of emissary from The Devil or God, can't really figure or call it, but who cares. Anyway, he gives Michael the Universal remote with a few warnings that go unheard: It programs itself after a while, and it can’t be returned.

“Click” is driven by more urgent concerns, though, ones that spring from Michael’s despairing cry early on that “every choice I make, everything I do, I disappoint somebody.” He starts chapter-forwarding through parts of his life, leaping past family time to get to the pay off of job promotion, and soon the remote is doing the job on its own. Without giving too much away, I can say that we’re in the back half of Michael’s personal movie fairly quickly, which requires Sandler