Akeelah and the Bee

Category: Drama and Kids/Family Rating: PG for some language. Run Time: 1hr. 52 min.

Starring Laurence Fishburne, Angela Bassett, Keke Palmer, Curtis Armstrong, J.R. Villarreal

Directed by Doug Atchison

Produced by Todd Wagner, Mark Cuban, Marc Butan

Written by Doug Atchison

Distributed by Lions Gate

Release Date: April 28th, 2006

Synopsis: A precocious eleven-year-old girl, Akeelah Anderson, from south Los Angeles, is discovered to have a talent for words. In spite of the objections of her mother Wanda, Akeelah enters a spelling contest. Her gift takes her to compete in the National Spelling Bee, the most famous competition of its kind in the world. On the way, she is helped by a forthright, mysterious teacher, Dr. Larabee, and other members of her community.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: A+

I have never competed in, much less won, a Spelling Bee of any kind in my entire life so I may not have enough words in my limited vocabulary to describe how much I enjoyed this film. It's difficult for me not to turn this review into an all out advertisement, but simply put it's a must see and "must pay" film - meaning you need to go see it at the theater for a variety of reasons. It isn't a must see film just because of how often African-Americans complain about the limited array of positive images and portrayals presented to represent our experience in cinema. It isn't a must see film just because of it's inspirational and uplifting message. It isn't a must see film just because it's funny yet serious and you can literally take the whole family to see it. It's a must see film for all these reasons and more. 

In less skilled hands this film could have turned into something overly syrupy or maybe even a bit corny, as you can almost be sure the film will have an at least somewhat happy ending, but director Doug Atchison manages to, in the most trite and cliché terms, "keep it real". Just beneath all the good feelings are the realities of Akeelah's working class life in South Central, Los Angeles. Akeelah is a smart and talented child; the surface of her potential is probably only being scratched upon with her special spelling talent that she hones partially by playing Scrabble. At school she is somewhat bored and her attendance suffers do to other pressures to fit in. She is teased for being a "brainiac" and consequently attempts to hide her abilities, though a least some of the adults, particularly one of her teachers and the school principle see something truly special in her. The school she goes to is poor and almost pathologically under-funded which is evident when we compare her school experience to that of her Spelling Bee competition who are almost all from rich or upper class backgrounds. While Akeelah's school "barely has money for kickballs" the children of the privileged take "Latin", have private tutors, and are directed to other opportunities to improve their abilities. We know somehow Akeelah has lost her father (we find out later he was murdered on his way home from work). Her mother Tanya Anderson, played by the incomparable Angela Bassett, is haunted by her husband's untimely death and struggling with all the issues or raising at least 3 children on her own in a underprivileged neighborhood. Bassett's character works hard and long hours, already has a daughter who is also a mother and apparently not far from being a teenager herself, and another son a couple of years older than Akeelah, who she is trying her best not to lose to the L.A. streets. Though she almost makes you hate her for initially being less than supportive of her daughter, Akeelah's efforts with the Spelling Bee, you're forced to understand her as she's not an absentee parent or indifferent to her child's academic performance, she's just a bit overwhelmed. 

Akeelah's early success is the Spelling Bee's is a bit overwhelming too, as she becomes somewhat of a sensation in her neighborhood and school, leading to a little jealousy but far more encouragement, it's as if she has "a million teachers". Also lending supporting roles as child actors and fellow Spelling Bee contestants are Mexican-American named Javier (J.R. Villarreal) and an Asian-American named Dylan. Javier, who is from an upscale neighborhood befriends Akeelah and it is indirectly through him that we learn about "life on the other side", as we are able to contrast his experience with that of Akeelah's. Dylan on the other hand is an arrogant if a bit robotic, 2-time runner up Spelling Bee champion, driven by an obsessive and domineering father who treats the spelling bee like armed combat, though before it's over you may even find yourself liking Dylan as a character. Even with all her talent Akeelah would find herself not quite able to match up with the best among her much better prepared peers, to compete on the highest level. Like them, she needs coaching and direction and that is where Laurence Fishburne's character, Dr. Joshua Larabee, a UCLA English professor on leave and dealing with his own personal drama, enters. The coaching sessions between Fishburne and Akeelah are a moving and indispensable part of the film as he teaches her not just how to compete but how to be proud and believe in her abilities. The sessions make her not just a better contestant but a better person. He forces her to remember and internalize the quote often incorrectly attributed to Nelson Mandela and also used in the film Coach Carter, that begins. "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." In the end we learn it isn't all about winning, though you can't help but cheer for Akeelah, it's often more about the journey.

Alpha Dog

Category: Drama, Crime/Gangster and Teen Rating: R for pervasive drug use and language, strong violence, sexuality and nudity. Run Time: 1hr. 57 min.

Starring Justin Timberlake, Bruce Willis, Sharon Stone, Emile Hirsch, Dominique Swain

Directed by Nick Cassavetes

Produced by Steven Markoff, Robert Geringer, Avram Kaplan

Written by Nick Cassavetes

Distributed by Universal Pictures Distribution, Universal Pictures

Release Date: January 12th, 2007

Synopsis: Johnny is a Los Angeles drug dealer. He comes from a good family, owns his home, several cars and enjoys partying with his friends. Johnny is 19. When his friend Jake welches on a debt, Johnny and his boys kidnap Jake's 15-year-old brother Butch and hold him as a marker. Even though Butch has numerous chances to escape, he doesn't. He's enjoying partying with them, losing his virginity and having a good time - until something goes horribly wrong.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: B-

Alpha Dog been out a month and I just got around to sneaking in a theatre to see it, there was no real rush for a film like this since word of mouth has not been strong. Contrary to what I expected this film is actually decent but the problem is that it's not fair that it comes out while there is a current court case pending concerning this “true” story of racist, drug selling, bad behaving, kidnapping White kids who think they run the world and will probably be your boss one day (lol). It’s loosely based on real life events, the story of Jesse James Hollywood, a young wannabe thug currently awaiting trial. Alpha Dog depicts well to do young adults from Southern California's San Gabriel Valley who sit around their million dollar cribs high, horny, growing stupider each day, watching MTV, dissing Hip-hop artist as coons but listening to lots of rap while playing video games, talking shit, and plotting to do evil things.

This film was written and directed by Nick Cassavetes who obviously saw the disturbing, coming of age, classic Kids by Larry Clark but it’s not done in such a documentary fashion. Like Kids the director doesn't condone anyone's behavior, but he also shows how kidnapping victim sometimes identify with the kidnappers ala Patty Hearst (c’mon duke Google her). More noticeably he shows adults who are irresponsible and concerned with being peers of their kids, won't get respect from their kids when they try to discipline them. There's some great acting by annoying parents who one minute want to be their kids' buddies and seconds later try to be a disciplinarian; a stereotype of White families believed by many other minority groups.

Alpha Dog takes the story of a kidnapping masterminded by a young drug dealer named Johnny Truelove. One of Johnny's clients, "Jake" a junkie who is a skinhead and Jewish (yeah you read it right). Anyway Jake owes Johnny some money. Until the debt is settled, he kidnaps Jake's younger half-brother, Zack (a good young actor). These punk kids start snitching on each other and get scared once they realize that they can go to jail for a long time. We stand back and watch them devour each other. Ironically the most interesting character is the tattooed Jewish Aryan skinhead Jake because he is from a good Jewish family and very unstable. Basically all of these kids are punks who live in a fantasy world except Jake who actually kicks a few people's ass in one scene. Pop star Justin Timberlake plays Johnny's friend in an ok debut acting role. Still not sure why this film is called Alpha Dog since an alpha-male rises to that position by deposing the previous Alpha-male, and maintains it through the brutal oppression of any challengers. These kids are all privileged posers who watched too much TV and lived in a fantasy world, until the death of an innocent forced them all back to reality.- Nuff Said

Amazing Grace

Category: Art/Foreign, Drama, Thriller and Politics/Religion Rating: PG for thematic material involving slavery, and some mild language. Run Time: 1 hr. 51 min.

Starring: Ioan Gruffudd, Albert Finney, Benedict Cumberbatch, Michael Gambon, Romola Garai

Directed by Michael Apted

Produced by Jeanney Kim, James Clayton (II), Duncan Reid

Written by Steven Knight

Distributed by Samuel Goldwyn Films, Roadside Attractions

Release Date: February 23rd, 2007

Synopsis: William Wilberforce led efforts as a member of Parliament in 18th-century England to end slavery and the slave trade in the British empire. Wilberforce was elected to the House of Commons at 21 and took on the issue of slavery, successfully assembling a diverse coalition that went up against the most powerful men of the time.

Keith Johnson a.k.a. Tsarbernard Says: Overall: B-

Confession time: I’m skeptical of films that focus on White protagonists saving Black folk. While I freely acknowledge that well-intentioned Whites have been crucial to Black struggles, I always feel the Blacks in such films are relegated to secondary roles, often appearing as bystanders in their own fight. I always wonder about the untold stories and how they might make a good movie into a great one. Such is the case here.

Amazing Grace is a good movie, if a bit slow in pacing. It follows the decades-long battle of William Wilberforce (Ioan Gruffudd) to end slavery in the British Empire. As the movie starts, Wilberforce has returned home from years in Parliament, where he’s fought unsuccessfully to get an anti-slavery bill passed. The fight has taken a huge toll on him: although a relatively young man, he’s sickly, subject to coughing fits, abdominal pains, and nightmares. But the most obvious toll is to his soul, as evidenced by the haunted look in his eyes, his unsure speech, the hesitance in his very bearing. This is a man defeated.

Through flashbacks we see the details of his early life. They show a young firebrand dueling verbally with members of the House of Commons, cutting them with his rapier wit. An idealistic and religious man, Wilberforce struggled with the decision of devoting his life to politics or to God. It is this dual nature of piety and fiery idealism that brings him to the attention of the anti-slavery forces and gives them hope. But they are going against a centuries old institution that generates untold wealth for the Empire. Many in Parliament agree that slavery’s wrong, but they also fear the loss of wealth its loss would mean—not to mention potential social upheaval. We watch as the struggle causes Wilberforce to lose his way, only to find it again later.

The word “earnest” comes to mind when I see Gruffudd, whether it’s the tortured and sympathetic Lancelot in “King Arthur”, or the brilliant-but-self-doubting Reed Richards of “Fantastic Four”. His Wilberforce is a likeable character, a man bursting with decency, idealism, and a good bit of naiveté. You can’t help but empathize with him in the long struggle.

The supporting cast is solid, especially Romola Garai as his love interest, and Benedict Cumberbatch as William Pitt, who must tread carefully the path between supporting William’s cause and his duties as Prime Minister. Especially noteworthy is Albert Finney in a small-but-memorable role as John Newton, the slave ship captain who actually wrote “Amazing Grace” as a type of penitence. Knowing his history, one can’t help but view Newton with contempt, but seeing the broken, sorrowful man he’s become, one can’t help but realize the hold slavery held over the entire Western world, like an addictive drug that slowly destroys those too weak to give it up.

Things can drag a bit despite the fine cast. The flashbacks last for the bulk of the movie, and can be confusing at times. The film’s a “talkie” in many ways, with little in the way of action to change the pace. That’s not necessarily bad. Not every revolution comes at the point of a gun. Indeed, the endless debates underscore the difficult battles many freedom fighters face: sometimes it might actually be easier to gather a bunch of men with guns and force a change. Changing peoples’ actions can be done quickly; changing their attitudes is more difficult and less flashy.

Curiously, the song “Amazing Grace” itself isn’t as central as one might expect. It’s heard a few times, such as when Wilberforce sings it later in the film, a sign of his healing. But it’s less the hearing of the song than the *idea* it represents that’s the point of the movie. The grace is that to be rediscovered by all those complicit in the sin of selling humans: they are blind wretches despite their wealth, and Wilberforce is trying to make them see again. The sparing use is effective.

If I have one complaint, it must go back to my opening statement: the movie gives short shrift to the Black character. International singing superstar Youssou N'Dour gets to play the grateful victim as Oloudaqh Equiano, a former slave who’s joined the abolitionist groups. Equiano was instrumental, we’re told, selling thousands of copies of his autobiography. The problem is we never *see* any details of his life. Aside from a couple of speaking scenes, he’s relegated to the background: signing books, sitting in Parliament looking solemn, a tear rolling down his cheek. I wanted more on this remarkable man, whose story is probably every bit as fascinating as Wilberforce’s--if not more so

Don’t go into “Amazing Grace” expecting fast-paced action or a fantastic soundtrack. This is a deliberately paced movie that illustrates how slowly the wheels of change grind on their course. It suffers a bit from the marginalization of the other abolitionists, especially the Black ones. But in the end, Gruffud’s engaging performance makes it a thought-provoking affair. I’d just like to hope that next year I can be reviewing the “Equiano Story”.

Starring Dalia Hernandez, Mayra Serbulo, Gerardo Taracena, Raoul Trujillo, Rudy Youngblood

Directed by Mel Gibson

Produced by Ned Dowd, Vicki Christianson, Mel Gibson

Written by Allen Covert (Screenplay), Nick Swardson (Screenplay), Adam Sandler (Story By)

Distributed by Buena Vista Pictures Distribution, Eagle Pictures (Italy)

Release Date: December 8th, 2006

Are We Done Yet?

Category: Comedy and Sequel Rating: PG for some innuendos and brief language. Run Time: 1hr. 32 min.

Starring Earvin Johnson, Ice Cube , Nia Long, Aleisha Allen, Philip Bolden

Directed by Steve Carr

Produced by Aaron Ray (II), Heidi Santelli, Steve Carr

Written by Hank Nelken, Eric Wald, Robert Ramsey, Matthew Stone, Hank Nelken,  Norman Panama (Story from source material from screenplay: "Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House"), Melvin Frank (Story from source material from screenplay: "Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House"), Steven Gary Banks, Claudia Grazioso

Distributed by Sony Pictures Releasing

Release Date: April 4th, 2007

Synopsis: Now married to Suzanne, Nick Persons has bought a quiet suburban house to escape the rat race of the big city and to provide more space for his new wife and kids Lindsey and Kevin. But when his new home quickly becomes a costly "fixer upper" and he finds himself at the mercy of an eccentric contractor, Nick's suburban dream becomes a riotous nightmare.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C

As a family man I have to take everybody to see this stuff, unfortunately Ice Cube must know this. Luckily the action is swift and the movie lasts less than 90 minutes, parents may find themselves silently chanting the title until the credits roll. "Are We Done Yet?" purports to be a remake of the 1948 Cary Grant-Myrna Loy charmer, "Mr. Blandings Builds his Dream House," which also inspired another obtuse remake, 1986's "The Money Pit."

Are We Done Yet? is the sequel to Ice Cube's 2005 comedy Are We There Yet? In it, a newly married Nick and Suzanne are suburbia bound and invest their money in a fixer-upper home. The house turns out to be in the worst condition possible, and the family must endure a never-ending parade of plumbers, electricians, and contractors in order to get the job done.

I didn’t like the first movie, "Are We Done Yet?" which is far less about the terrors these kids contrive, and more about the nightmare of homeownership. Nick and Suzanne (pregnant with twins, by the way) purchase a five-bedroom house -- oh, who are we kidding? It's a chateau, one apparently made of paper. You can't look at a wall without putting a hole in it. Fixing the chandelier that crashes through the dining room table, repairing the dry rot, and restoring the power aren't tasks Nick can handle alone. Though in typical sitcom-dad fashion, he tries.

For comic exclamation and wholesale wackiness, John C. McGinley is brought in for too many scenes as the real-estate agent, contractor, midwife, and more. He always has more bad news about this lemon of a house, and there's something vain and grotesque about the way McGinley wrestles the movie away from everybody with his hamming. He's frequently put in tight clothes or is shirtless for no reason. I can't recall a character performance so predicated upon the camera's needless worship of a fatless body.

The problem with the new film is that Ice Cube is too cool for the plot's nonsense. He even admits it saying. "What I like about Nick is, he doesn't go from being cool to corny. You know, he keeps his personality and tries to fit it in with this family life which is, you know, what most people try to do. And I think people really identify with him. You know, especially adults who are getting into this situation."

The Astronaut Farmer

Category: Drama Rating: PG for thematic material, peril and language. Run Time: 1hr. 42 min.

Starring Billy Bob Thornton, Virginia Madsen, Bruce Willis, Bruce Dern, Tim Blake Nelson

Directed by Michael Polish

Produced by Geyer Kosinski, Robert Benjamin, Paula Weinstein

Written by Michael Polish, Mark Polish

Distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution

Release Date: February 23rd, 2007

Synopsis: From the time he was a child, Charles Farmer had only one goal: to be an astronaut. Earning his degree in aerospace engineering and joining the Air Force as a pilot, Farmer was a natural for NASA's astronaut training program and was well on his way when a family situation forced him to drop out. But Farmer was not a man to let anything stand in the way of a dream. He spent the next decade and every cent he had building his own rocket in a barn on his ranch in Story, Texas, working toward the day when he could triumphantly launch it into space. By himself. Sharing his vision are his wife Audie and their children--daughters Sunshine and Stanley, and 15-year-old Shepard, already a budding engineer and eager to serve as "mission control" on the big day. Even Audie's father Hal, on hand to lend moral support, can see how his son-in-law's unwavering commitment has inspired the family with a common dream. On the eve of the long-anticipated launch, an unexpected problem arises. Farmer's efforts to secure 10,000 pounds of high-grade fuel catches the attention of the FBI--and subsequently the media, who encamp in droves outside his gate. Farmer finds himself depicted on TV screens worldwide as a renegade hero, inspiring an outpouring of popular support, while simultaneously drawing heavy fire from the FBI, CIA, FAA, NASA and the U.S. Military, all of whom see him as a threat and will do anything they can think of to shut him down. But Farmer knows this is his only chance--not only to reach his goal of breaking through the Earth's atmosphere but to instill in his children the courage to pursue their own ideals and never give up, no matter the odds. He will not let himself be grounded again.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C-

Considering that we have a diaper wearing female astronaut beating people up, now might not be the ideal time to release a movie about an astronaut with an obsession. The movie opens with Billy Bob Thornton riding a horse on a Texas ranch while wearing an official astronaut's outfit, (you can’t buy these uniforms ) like a 7-year-old who wants to keep wearing his Halloween costume in the first few days of December. I should have taken my family and left immediately but I did not so therefore you will have to stay and read this review. Billy Bob Thornton plays the farmer and would-be astronaut, conveniently named Charlie Farmer. This film is neither a satire nor a fantasy. As one person who saw it said “it's an infuriating and formulaic attempt at inspirational drama that panders so appallingly to an American audience hungry for uplifting tales of derring-do that it feels insulting from start to finish”. Actually The Astronaut Farmer demonstrates that not every dream is worth pursuing. At least not the belabored one of a narcissistic crackpot masquerading as an admirable dreamer.

Unlike those who work for bona fide space exploration efforts that gather scientific data and knowledge, Farmer seems to want to go to space simply because "it's there." Meanwhile, his children face homelessness. Virginia Madsen plays his patient and overly supportive wife. This is not a movie that takes time to explain how Charlie, apparently working on his own with a blowtorch and lot of trips to Home Depot, is able to construct a massive ship that would surely cost millions of dollars and would require the expertise of dozens of technicians with multiple degrees in rocket science and other fields of specialty. This is a dumb movie that features Bruce Willis, as a space shuttle commander who shows up at Charlie's farm one day, downs a few beers, tells Charlie he's crazy and then laughs with cartoonishly wild glee at the sheer heart and moxie of the astronaut farmer.

You've also got the FAA breathing down Charlie's neck, the worldwide media turning him into a celebrity, and lots of speeches about how a man is nothing if he doesn't have dreams. The best part is when circumstances unwind in such a fashion that Charlie nearly dies and the rocket is destroyed -- and with the help of his family, who apparently are collectively loonier than he is, Charlie makes the decision to build and launch a second rocket. At that point he's officially more productive than NASA in its entirety if he makes it into space. I won't spoil it and say but this is one lift off that did not happen for me.

ATL	Category: Comedy, Drama and Musical/Performing Arts Rating: PG-13 for drug content, language, sexual material and some violence. Run Time: 1 hr. 45 min.

Starring: Tip "T.I." Harris, Lauren London, Antwan "Big Boi" Patton, Mykelti Williamson, Keith David

Directed by Chris Robinson (IV)

Produced by James Lassiter, Will Smith, Jody Gerson

Written by Tina Gordon Chism (screenplay), Antwone Fisher (story)

Distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution

Release Date: March 31st, 2006.

Synopsis: ATL tells the story of four teens coming of age in a working class Atlanta neighborhood where hip-hop music and roller skating rule. As the group prepares for life after high school, challenges on and off the rink bring about turning points in each of their lives. The film is loosely based on Dallas Austin and Tionne Watkins' experiences growing up in Atlanta and hanging out at a local skating rink called "Jellybeans".

Eyecalone Says: Overall: C+

Loosely based on the experiences of Dallas Austin and Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins growing up in Atlanta, ATL is a cautionary, coming of age tale. It marks what are essentially the big screen debuts of rappers "T.I." Harris (Rashad) and Antwan "Big Boi" Patton. Both perform solidly in their rolls though "Big Boi" plays a character that doesn't require much depth, as a neighborhood drug dealer. The story is narrated by "T.I." who the film also centers around and follows his experience as a high-school senior, as well as a that of 3 of his close friends, trying to figure out "what comes next". Also central to the story is Rashad's younger brother Ant, played by Evan Ross (Diana Ross' son) who could play teenage "R&B sensation Chris Brown in a biopic one day,  and his struggle to resist "street life". 

ATL is a decent film but where the movie fails, which will probably fly clean over the heads of younger or less seasoned movie viewers, is in the dialogue and acting departments. The acting isn't terrible but the interaction between T.I.'s character and his group of friends is not very smooth or amusing even when it's supposed to be and the dialogue seems to miss out on countless opportunities to say something poignant that might stick with people though it's not for lack of trying. It also seems to be confused about it's setting. The character's lives have an "innocence" reminiscent of growing up in maybe the late 70's or the early, pre-crack cocaine 80's but the decor and setting is all current day, which doesn't seem to match at all. The roller-skating scenes are fun and visually stimulating however, and the characters do make you care about them, at least a little. Overall ATL has a good heart and a decent message and is a good movie to take a younger teenager to see. It's not very violent, or vulgar, and outside of an excessive amount of backside close-ups on what are supposed to teenage girls, it's not excessively sexual.

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Shiesty Says: Overall: C-

Urban "Coming of Age" flicks are my personal favorite genre. Movies like "Boyz In Da' Hood", "Juice", and the criminally underrated "Baby Boy" showed that you don't necessarily need a strong plot if you've got solid character development and enough intriguing turns of events to keep things interesting. Perhaps the makers of "ATL.", a thinly veiled star vehicle for Atlanta rapper T.I., need to spend a bit more time absorbing the best aspects of those movies. Instead of another "Drumline", we're given a long play music video with a million cameos that's more damaging to black women than anything you'll catch on 106th and Park.

Following a few weeks in the lives of a group of Atlanta high-schoolers, ATL feels more like a handful of poorly dialogued vignettes than a cohesive film. After his parents die in a tragic car accident, Rashad (T.I.) has to raise his rambunctious younger brother Ant (Evan Ross, Diana's son), while juggling his final year of high school and running the family cleaning business with his reclusive uncle ("Forest Gump's" Mykelti Williamson). Despite this demanding lifestyle, Rashad finds time to hang out with his crew, and plays cat and mouse with a lovely "hoodrat" named New-New (Lauren London) who seems to be hiding a secret or two. Directed by music video vet Chris Robinson, the movie is stylishly shot, with lots of MTV worthy flash and a radio friendly soundtrack. But the good news ends there.

The movie's first problem is casting. While T.I. is more than adequate as Rashad, he just looks way too old to be playing a high school senior. With the face of a 30 year old, and the body of a pre-teen, he never quite looks the part. This makes his courtship with New-New, who looks every bit of 15 very distracting. Illegally distracting. Think R. Kelly distracting. Of course, with this being T.I.'s movie, such details were probably trivial to the producers. Equally troubling is the portrayal of all the female characters. The women in this movie run the gamut of assorted skanks, skeezers, and scallywags. New-New's friends are a couple of ghetto bunny twins who boost clothes when they're not busy stealing money from their mother, who of course is your typical ghetto lip smacking and neck twisting stereotype. New-New is just as hooded out herself, which makes the movie's illogical plot twist even sillier. Music video fans will probably dig the Buffie the Body cameo as "Big Booty Trudy", but to me it just looked like more of the same. With so many black men (including Will Smith, and Antwone Fisher, who penned the script that could just have easily been written by a 4th grader) involved in the creation of this film, it's puzzling, if not downright insulting, that they couldn't put a single decent black female in this movie.

Loosely based on the lives of producer Dallas Austin and Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins of R&B group TLC, the film can't quite decide whether it wants to be a comedy or drama. It fails equally on both accounts. While T.I.'s acting debut is mostly impressive, ATL lacks enough substance to be anything more than a regrettable loss of $10.

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The Benchwarmers

Category: Comedy and Sports Rating: PG-13 for crude and suggestive humor, and for language. Run Time: 1hr. 25min.

Starring Rob Schneider, David Spade, Jon Heder, Jon Lovitz, Craig Kilborn

Directed by Dennis Dugan

Produced by Todd Garner, Derek Dauchy, Jack Giarraputo

Written by Allen Covert (Screenplay), Nick Swardson (Screenplay), Adam Sandler (Story By)

Distributed by Sony Pictures Releasing

Release Date: April 7th, 2006

Synopsis: Gus and his nerdy buddies, Richie and Clark, are scouted by a millionaire nerd, Mel, who wants to form a baseball team and compete with the meanest Little League teams in the state. A stellar ballplayer, Gus becomes a role model for nerds and outcasts everywhere. But when his fans learn that Gus, himself, was once a school bully, they feel outraged and betrayed, until Gus takes extraordinary steps to win back their admiration and trust.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C+

The Benchwarmers was a cool movie that had some flaws in its story line. The casting included the Hollywood usuals as the characters for these roles because these actors have basically played them before. For once, Schneider actually plays the straight man, who along with his nerdy friends Spade and Jon Heder, puts together an underdog baseball team to prove that everyone has a right to enjoy the game. And how do we know the kids on their team are nerds? Because they like Star Wars, of course! If The Bad News Bears remake was too sophisticated for you, this might be your thing. When the trio comes to the aid of a nerdy kid hassled by some burly pre-teens, they wind up playing the bullies in a pick-up baseball game. Led by Gus's impressive pitching and hitting, the men demolish the team. The same thing happens the next day, leading the tormented boy's billionaire father (Jon Lovitz) to come up with a plan: He wants the three adults to play in a baseball tournament against the county's Little League teams to prove that geeks and weirdoes are athletes too. The movie contains some crude humor so be aware when taking small children, but otherwise this is funny stuff at times showing us the way that life should be, not that it will change, yet it still lets adults see how truly cruel children can be. 

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Big Momma's House 2

Category: Action/Adventure, Comedy, Crime/Gangster and Sequel Rating: PG-13 for some sexual humor and a humorous drug reference. Run Time: 1 hr. 39 min.

Starring: Martin Lawrence, Nia Long, Zachary Levi, Emily Procter, Mark Moses

Directed by John P. Whitesell

Produced by David T. Friendly, Beau Flynn, Jeremiah Samuels

Written by Don Rhymer

Distributed by 20th Century Fox Distribution

Release Date: January 27th, 2006

Synopsis: The continuing adventures of master-of-disguise FBI special agent Malcolm Turner. This time he must go undercover as Big Momma to nail his ex-partner's murderer. While undercover in the house of the suspected criminal, Malcom grows attached to the suspect's three children.

Shiesty Says: Overall: D-

Coonin' is in vogue right now. From Snoop Dogg's Chrysler commercial, to VH1's dreadful The Flavor Of Love, to those awful Tony Sinclair Tangueray ads, black men actin' the fool seems to be everywhere you look. I'm sure some will say it never went out of style, and I'll partially agree, but for these reasons, I wasn't particularly enthused about Big Momma's House 2. An obvious last ditch effort to keep Martin Lawrence's career on life support, BMH2 fails to even reach the low standards of its’ predecessor. If you were ever looking for a surefire way to blow $10, your search is over. 

Picking up where the original left off, BMH2 finds Malcolm Turner (Lawrence) working an FBI desk job at the wishes of his expectant now-wife Sherri (Nia Long, whose career sadly appears to be on its' last legs also). But when his ex-partner is murdered, it's time to pull the fat suit outta' the closet and presto-chango, you've got Malcolm back in the field, fighting crime dressed as a 2006 version of Hattie McDaniel. I won't bother you with the rest of the details, nothing here is memorable. The plot is color-by-numbers, and the laughs are few and far between. 

The original movie did manage to be entertaining because Lawrence was somewhere near the top of his game, and while the sight of a black man in drag will never be the most pleasing visual, his natural comedic ability won you over. But after a string of stinkers (Rebound, Black Knight, National Security, Nothing to Lose, wow, what's that smell?) it's clear that Martin's box office magic expired with Bad Boys II. Here, his jokes fall flat, he looks badly aged, and the usual “white folks doing black folks stuff” humor that defines his movies is beyond tired. Watching him cavorting around as a 300 pound black woman teaching white kids to "drop it like it's hot" is pathetic. And sad. And embarrassing. Hell, it's an affront to black grandmas everywhere. Here's to you Mr. Lawrence. You made us laugh, you made us smile, you made us all want to have cool homies, a down-ass chick, and money green leather sofas like you did on "Martin". But sadly, your day has passed. Seeing you now is like watching a 40 year old Michael Jordan hoist up 20 foot fade-aways as a Washington Wizard: something is badly out of place and out of time. Please, please, please, while you still have some shred of dignity remaining, call it a day. And whatever you do, don't blow $10 on this crap. There are far better ways to spend your hard earned cash. Invest it in a 529 for your kid. Buy a book. Donate to the UNCF. Hell, blow it on a bag of weed. Something. Anything but this.

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Black Snake Moan

Category: Drama Rating: R for strong sexual content, language, some violence and drug use. Run Time: 1hr. 55 min.

Starring Samuel L. Jackson, Christina Ricci, Justin Timberlake, John Cothran Jr, Michael Raymond-James

Directed by Craig Brewer

Produced by Ron Schmidt, John Singleton, Stephanie Allain

Written by Craig Brewer

Distributed by Paramount Vantage

Release Date: March 2nd, 2007

Synopsis: There was a time when Lazarus played the blues; a time he got Bojo's Juke Joint shakin' back in the day. Now he lives them. Bitter and broken from a cheating wife and a shattered marriage, Lazarus' soul is lost in spent dreams and betrayal's contempt--until Rae. Half naked and beaten unconscious, Rae is left for dead on the side of the road when Lazarus discovers her. The God-fearing, middle-aged black man quickly learns that the young white woman he's nursing back to health is none other than the town tramp from the small Tennessee town where they live. Worse, she has a peculiar anxiety disorder. He realizes when the fever hits, Rae's affliction has more to do with love lost than any found. Abused as a child and abandoned by her mother, Rae is used by just about every man in the phone book. She tethers her only hope to Ronnie, but escape to a better life is short-lived when Ronnie ships off for boot camp. Desperation kicks in, as a drug-induced Rae reverts to surviving the only way she knows how, by giving any man what he wants to get what she needs--until Lazarus. Refusing to know her in the biblical sense, Lazarus decides to cure Rae of her wicked ways--and vent some unresolved male vengeance of his own. He chains her to his radiator, justifying his unorthodox methods with quoted scripture. Preacher R.L. intervenes, but it is Lazarus and Rae who redeem themselves. Unleashing Rae emotionally, Lazarus unchains his heart, finding love again in Angela. By saving Rae, he frees himself.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C+

For a somewhat controversial movie and much talked about film nobody is saying much about the film Black Snake Moan, now that they have seen it- not even me. I think most people do not know how to react. Honestly Black Snake Moan is the oddest, most indifferent movie I’ve seen about sex and race in my adult life that was not animated. We could call this film “She’s Gotta Have It" meets "Hustle and flow". For those who might have forgot, Craig Brewer did Hustle and Flow and he employs the idea that the main characters are in pain, a technique that he has has some success with. It’s not the same MTV sort of thing this time around. “Black Snake Moan” is a film that will have you thinking about it primarily because of what did not happen, namely Ricci and Samuel L. Jackson did not slap skins, had the old Black scruffy dude with gold teeth and the young blond White gal slapped skins, we would have heard about it before the film was released.

Ironically outside of her boyfriend the nymphomaniac character played by Ricci only experiences sex or intimate contact with Black males, which is odd since her imagery is racially polarizing with Christina Ricci’s image usually in a Confederate Flag praising halter-top. Rapper David Banner and a 13-year old African American child laborer willingly slap skins with Ricci but even as a nymphomaniac we don’t see her getting handled by everybody and that is in part because she is chained to a radiator though we learn to empathize with her character; as we learn why she is a "nympho".

Actually Samuel L. Jackson is the most interesting character in the film as a broken-down blues musician, (who looks like Gator of Jungle Fever) vegetable market gardener whose wife has just walked out on him. Jackson’s character has an undefined and unspoken reverence for White women that is never touched on or explored. I heard some days after the screening that Jackson considers this his best performance - well, maybe it is. He disappears into the role, and a good performance requires understanding of the Blues and intensity, which he supplies in abundance. He channels the blues in a Hip-hop fashion complete with gold teeth and a foul mouth, compare this with the old blues footage provided in the film and you have something different. These are the only “singing” excursions the film takes even with a pop star as a main character. Justin Timberlake plays the toned down version of his Alpha Dog character again. Again he is racist, soft on the inside and projecting tough on the outside. This time when he drops the N-word bomb it has some ”reason” behind it. We never really lean about his character Ronnie, who is the boyfriend of Rae (Ricci). He has enlisted in the service for cloudy reasons, he comes back for cloudy reasons. We are cloudy on much of what this film is supposed to be conveying except the fact that the Black and White sex imagery still keeps people talking and opinionated and The Blues is a perfect forum for that dialogue.

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Blades of Glory

Category: Comedy and Sports Rating: PG-13 for crude and sexual humor, language, a comic violent image, and some drug references. Run Time: 1hr. 33 min.

Starring Will Ferrell, Jon Heder, Will Arnett, Amy Poehler, Jenna Fischer

Directed by Will Speck, Josh Gordon

Produced by Marty Ewing, Ben Stiller, Stuart Cornfeld

Written by Jeff Cox, Craig Cox, John Altschuler, Dave Krinsky, Busy Philipps

Distributed by Paramount Pictures

Release Date: March 30th, 2007

Synopsis: Perhaps nowhere in sports is the marriage of athleticism and grace more evident than in the arena of world champion pairs figure skating--the lifts, the jumps, the routines. It's an elegant world, a rarefied universe, a noble place populated by the crème de la crème of skating elite. Well, it used to be. When the macho, swaggering Chazz Michael Michaels takes to the rink, he is the rock star of the arena, leaving a trail of thrashed ice and shrieking female fans in his wake. The only competitor who can match Michaels? scores is the driven former child prodigy, Jimmy MacElroy. Spotted as a youth executing triple lutzes on the frozen pond of an orphanage, MacElroy was whisked away to days of endless training, and now stands as the picture of poise, the personification of the highest ideals of the men's sport. Michaels and MacElroy have met in finals rounds before, but their latest head-to-head at the World Championships--when they tie for first--is more than either one can bear, and their longstanding rivalry erupts into a no-holds-barred fight. The ensuing brawl not only sets fire to the World Championships helpless mascot, but lands both athletes in hot water: Chazz and Jimmy are called before the sport?s governing board, stripped of their gold medals and banned from the sport for life. Now, three-and-a-half years later, both men are still trying to find their way in a world without competitive skating. Michaels has devolved into a drunken party machine, skating as a costumed evil wizard in a kiddie ice review, and MacElroy has been banished to the shoe department of a chain sporting goods store. But then, inspiration (in the form of an over-friendly, former stalker of Jimmy's) strikes, and a loophole emerges. To skate again, all Chazz and Jimmy have to do is set aside their long festering hatred of one another and join forces--as the first male/male figure skating pair to compete in the history of the sport.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C

If you thought Wild Hogs was really, really gay and you did not like that then you might want to skip this comedy with funny man Will Ferrell. Following Ron Burgundy, regional TV icon in "Anchorman," and Ricky Bobby, polestar of NASCAR cool in last summer's hit "Talladega Nights," Ferrell takes on another arrogant but soft-centered superstar in "Blades of Glory." This time he's Chazz Michael Michaels, the Garth Brooks of the ice, hot-shot competitive skater and unsteadily recovering sex addict brought low by his own temper, resurrected only when he learns to skate nice and become one half of a guy/guy skating team opposite feminine male skater Jon Heder.

The concept is gay, and we should assume Heder is but he really is not in practice. The men have powder blue outfits, stuffed animals, reflective jumpsuits, a tattoo centered above the butt, Farrah Fawcett hair, sequins, a polar bear rug, poetry, fringe, a pink sash, a "Breakfast at Tiffany's" poster, a shiny silver scarf, homoerotic skating routines (crotch to face, crotch to butt, crotch to crotch, crotch to crotch again, crotch to crotch again again), then we see cranberry-colored stole, a "Kristi Yamaguchi lifetime achievement award," headbands, a hankering for cosmetics and a $12,000 hairbrush."

They tie for American gold at the world championships; a brawl ensues, and they're disgraced. Three years later Chazz works kiddie shows, drunk, while Jimmy fits bratty kids for skates in a sporting goods store. Then Jimmy's personal homosexual stalker informs him of a fabulous loophole in the skating federation's rules. He can compete again, if he switches divisions. His old coach brings Chazz into the equation, and while Chazz struggles with his macho distaste for his partner's girly ways, they're guided toward destiny and ultimate mastery of the most dangerous skating maneuver known to humankind, the Iron Lotus. The film's PG-13 rating refers to "a comic violent image," depicting what happens when the Iron Lotus goes awry. It's a North Korean diss and another way pop culture deals with politics subtlety. Jenna Fischer is sweetly amusing as Jimmy's crush, deployed by her skating-fiend brother (Will Arnett) and sister (Amy Poehler) to break up the man/man skating act so they can remain the top duo. This has an official fill because Jim Lampley whose voice is known in sports for commentary officially narrates much of it making this ridiculous spoof somewhat legitimate. Even with all of this fundamentally "Blades of Glory" works; it's full of laughs both subtle and mostly ridiculous. Some of the ruthless rivalry business grows a bit tiresome. But "Blades of Glory" takes its satiric subject seriously enough to keep the payoffs coming. Hey, you guys, figure skating - it's girly!

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Blood Diamond

Category: Drama, Romance, Thriller and Crime/Gangster Rating: R for strong violence and language. Run Time: 2hr. 18 min.

Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Djimon Hounsou, Jennifer Connelly, James Purefoy, Arnold Vosloo

Directed by Edward Zwick

Produced by Len Amato, Benjamin Waisbren, Kevin De La Noy

Written by Edward Zwick (2nd rewrite), Marshall Herskovitz (2nd rewrite), Charles Leavitt (Story), Charlie Mitchell (Story)

Distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution, Warner Bros. Pictures International

Release Date: December 8th, 2006

Synopsis: Set against the backdrop of civil war and chaos in 1990's Sierra Leone, Danny Archer, a South African mercenary, and Solomon Vandy, a Mende fisherman are joined in a common quest to recover a rare pink diamond that can transform their lives. While in prison for smuggling, Archer learns that Solomon--who was taken from his family and forced to work in the diamond fields--has found and hidden the extraordinary rough stone. With the help of Maddy Bowen, an American journalist whose idealism is tempered by a deepening connection with Archer, the two men embark on a trek through rebel territory, a journey that could save Solomon's family and give Archer the second chance he thought he would never have.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: A-

Blood Diamonds is a safe and entertaining, yet educating Hollywood film. It gives the public some insight into the problems with the Diamond industry, which has been an exploiter of several African countries for decades. It moves fast and focuses on the effects of “conflict diamonds” but deals little with the origins that cause “Blood Diamonds” or “conflict diamonds”. A lot of attention is paid to the murder, mayhem, and chaos that has resulted in activist pressuring the Diamond industry to create “The Kimberley Process”, which according to the industry’s website is a joint government, international diamond industry, and civil society initiative to stem the flow of conflict diamonds (rough diamonds that are used by rebel movements to finance armed conflicts). The trade in these illicit stones has contributed to devastating conflicts in countries such as Angola , Cote d ‘ Ivoire , the Democratic Republic of Congo and Sierra Leone.

The Kimberley Process Certification scheme is an innovative, voluntary system that imposes extensive requirements on participants to certify that shipments of rough diamonds are free from conflict gems. Kimberley process participants are said to account for approximately 99.8% of the global production of rough diamonds. Personally I think it’s not enough but it’s a great start and a necessary movement. The attitude toward Black African exploitation has historically been uncaring as evidenced by the film’s actors constantly saying “T.I.A.” in regard to all bad events (translation of T.I.A. “This is Africa”). It’s a term that means anything goes here – although this cynical mantra by Leonardo Dicaprio’s character “Danny” and his fellow mercenaries is tossed around, it’s real and evidenced by many.

This indifference to black suffering is due to greed. Greed has caused high profile people to misrepresent the issue. For example former Civil Rights activist Ben Chavis appeared on WBAI (99.5 FM) radio show in NY hosted by Gary Byrd defending the diamond industry, saying how great DeBeers and the diamond industry were in “showing him” around. Of course ever since charges of sexual inappropriateness were leveled against him by a woman inside the Nation of Islam his career has stalled and he has turned into Russell Simmons lackey. Russell Simmons meanwhile, has turned into the biggest apologist for the diamond industry since Debeer himself. You also have people like Jesse Jackson who had coddled and befriended "kleptocrats" like President Charles Taylor of Liberia (who had also exploited the situation). As the rumors goes Jesse received direct payment of “conflict diamonds” in a small pouch to keep quiet about various transgressions by Taylor’s regime. Add the fact that the blood thirsty R.U.F. as depicted n the film are spinning the truth by producing a documentary on “blood diamonds” called “The Empire in Africa ”. Unfortunately many people that some would suspect might want to help and clear the air on the issue are motivated by their own selfish desires.

Director Edward Zwick has proven his merit in the past with films such as “Glory”, “Courage under Fire”, and “The Last Samurai”, and he comes just as strong in Blood Diamonds. Zwick gets superb performances from DiCaprio, (Danny Archer - Mercenary from Zimbabwe ), Jennifer Connelly (Maddy Bowen-American Journalist), Djimon Hounsou (Solomon Vandy- Fisherman and David Harewood (Captain Poison a super villain of the R.U.F. in Sierra Leone )

Blood Diamond takes us back to the Sierra Leone of the late 1990s, where the anti-gov’t rebel forces (R.U.F) are pillaging villages worse than any cinematic depictions of Vikings or pirates, and converting kids into child soldiers. They take Hounosu’s son, Dia and transform him into a “gangsta” rap listening, AK-47 wielding, heroin smoking, beer drinking, brainwashed kid who believes his father is a traitor. His father wants his son back and his father is central because he finds a huge pink diamond that he has hidden. The ruthless White mercenaries and equally ruthless Black "kleptocrats" will do just about anything to get it. Blood Diamond chronicles the smuggling of illicit stones from Sierra Leone into Liberia , where they can legally be sold to legitimate diamond merchants in Europe who won’t ask any questions about the origins of the gems. It doesn’t show us how the typical $5,000 ring your favorite celebrity brought contains stones that were in such abundance that they went for a mere $100 bucks. As Eyecalone and Morpheus entailed in columns the fact that America‘s love affair with diamonds is the result of a DeBeers marketing campaign is pretty awful, but even crazier is that diamonds can be made synthetically. They can even duplicate the more expensive “pink” or “yellow” African diamonds that J-Lo and Kobe’s wife wear that run over $1 million dollars.

Blood Diamond is intense orchestrated chaos. Between it all Zwick offers some real tidbits of truth and history for those paying attention between the gunfire and explosions. The film connects some of the dots but not nearly all of the who, what, why, where, and how. In fact in the film, as often in real life, the originators of the conflict leave unscathed. However, if Blood Diamond can get people to at least ask whether their diamonds have been sanctioned by the Kimberley Process the next time they want to buy jewelry, let’s make a part two.

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Borat

Category: Comedy and Adaptation Rating: R for pervasive strong crude and sexual content including graphic nudity, and language. Run Time: 1 hr. 22 min.

Starring: Sacha Baron Cohen, Kenneth Davitian, Luenell , Pat Haggerty, Alan Keyes

Directed by Larry Charles

Produced by Monica Levinson, Dan Mazer (II), Jay Roach

Written by Sacha Baron Cohen, Dan Mazer (II), Peter Baynham, Ant Hines, Todd Phillips, Sacha Baron Cohen (Source material from character)

Distributed by 20th Century Fox Distribution

Release Date: January 27th, 2006

Synopsis: Borat Sagdiyev, Kazakhstan's sixth most famous man and a leading journalist from the State run TV network, travels from his home in Kazakhstan to the U.S. to make a documentary. On his cross-country road-trip, Borat meets real people in real situations with hysterical consequences.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: B+

Breach

Category: Drama, Thriller and Biopic Rating: PG-13 for violence, sexual content, and language. Run Time: 1hr. 50 min.

Starring Chris Cooper, Ryan Phillippe, Laura Linney, Dennis Haysbert, Bruce Davison

Directed by Billy Ray

Produced by Scott Kroopf, Adam Merims, Sidney Kimmel

Written by Adam Mazer, William Rotko, Billy Ray

Distributed by Universal Pictures Distribution

Release Date: February 16th, 2007

Synopsis: Eric O'Neill (Ryan Phillippe) is promoted to a job inside FBI headquarters working for respected agent Robert Hanssen (Chris Cooper). Then O'Neill learns his true mission: finding proof that Hanssen has been selling American secrets to the Soviet Union for years.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: A

"Breach" is based on the, true-life story of Robert Hanssen, the FBI agent turned spy-for-the-Soviets. This Republican Benedict Arnold betrayal is viewed as the most egregious security breach in U.S. history. Before his arrest on espionage charges in 2001, Hanssen spent most of his 25-year career selling classified information to Russia/The Soviet Union – a real capitalist conservative! Mr. Hanssen earned $1.4 million and some diamonds which is not all that much. In the process revealing the identities of KGB double agents, thus getting them killed. He also provided top-level national security information and the identity of U S agents, many of whom were never heard from again. Today he sits in a super-maximum security facility in Colorado with no chance for parole.

Films based on true stories can be tough because we already know the outcome. This leaves it up to the actors to sell the role, and Chris Cooper deliver an Oscar worthy performance in "Breach”. Cooper, as Chicago-born Hanssen is a self-righteous, pious man who attends mass every single morning. In real life the spy was a supernumerary in the conservative Catholic order Opus Dei, (Critics of Opus Dei have argued that it is cult-like, secretive, and highly controlling much like Hansseen). Hansseen frowns on any sort of “moral weaknesses” in others. He is a walking contradiction as a devoted family man, lover of strippers, closet drinker and rabid porn buff; he makes videos of himself boning his wife. Hanssen seems to be all about his marriage and his family and his devotion to his country, and he proudly declares he couldn't care less about winning promotions or awards - even as he is furious about his lack of recognition. He serves his God and his country and his family, and to him there's no higher calling. Hanssen wasn't a field agent but an agency intelligence agent/ a computer systems and technology expert who has buried a lot of resentment under the devout Catholic persona. He was -- is -- a mystery of compartmentalization, and that is how the great, gray-faced actor Chris Cooper plays him. It's an unnerving performance, not least in the piousness that walks hand in hand with subterranean duplicity.

Another good performance is by Laura Linney who stars as FBI Special Agent Kate Burroughs, who is convinced, that agent Hanssen is a traitor. She's been gathering material on him for years - but she's still looking for that smoking gun. Burroughs, who has never married and seems to have no life outside the bureau, believes her entire career will be a washout if she can't nail Hanssen.

Last but not least Eric O'Neill is played by Ryan Phillippe (The real Mr. O’Neill, now a lawyer, served as a consultant on the film, which helps explains why it feels true in tone and texture.) who was the one who primarily cracked the case. O’Neil is his secretary and a mole to trap a mole. Initially he's completely overmatched by a boss who seems to possess almost supernatural powers. One scene has Hanssen returning to his office, sniffing the air like a TSA-trained dog, and casually telling O'Neill that he'll be in serious pain if he ever goes into his office uninvited again. O'Neill grows attached to Hanssen and even begins to regard him as something of a father figure, even as Linney prods O'Neill to do whatever it takes (including risking his marriage) to nail the bastard. What’s best is that it’s a spy film without slinky femme fatales, no poisoned darts or state-of-the-art widgets. However the espionage makes the movie such a compelling and eerily effective little drama. Add in the little dialogue perks by the characters that teach us that the FBI is a gun culture and intelligence gathering agents are not respected but the cowboy types run the show and we can see why even in a post 9/11 world we are still not safe.

The Breakup

Category: Comedy Rating: PG-13 for sexual content, some nudity and language. Run Time: 1hr. 46 min.

Synopsis: Pushed to the breaking-point after their latest, "why can't you do this one little thing for me?" argument, art dealer Brooke calls it quits with her boyfriend, Gary, who hosts bus tours of Chicago. What follows is a series of remedies, war tactics, overtures and undermining suggested by the former couple's friends, confidantes and the occasional total stranger. When neither ex is willing to move out of the condo they used to share, the only solution is to continue living as hostile roommates until somebody caves. But somewhere between protesting the pool table in the living room, the dirty clothes stacked in the kitchen cupboards and the sports played at sleep-killing volume in the middle of the night, Brooke begins to realize that what she may be really fighting for isn't so much the place but the person.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C

I am not sure who or what fuels the “AnnistonVaughn” interest because men aren’t going crazy over Anniston. She may be cute but she has a body like a 10 year old boy. I refuse to believe that men are actually fawning over her even if she is as sweet as mom’s apple pie. Vince Vaughn at the same time is not a sex symbol so he is not one who has millions of endearing female fans, so how they became so hot or talked about is somewhat a “mediastery”.

I may be wrong but this movie targets White couples relationships because African American or Latino’s don’t break up like that. We break up usually for problems that are financial. However we do have some grievances like those shown in the movie though break ups, takes much more especially for older couples. In The Break Up, Aniston and Vaughn’s, relationship evaporates before it reaches the camera as they are breaking up 10 minutes into the film.

It’s an old story that maybe 99% of us have lived and yet so many wanted to see this film. The biggest unresolved question here is why we’re paying $9.50, plus popcorn, for something we can presumably get at home for free. Jennifer Aniston’s split from Brad Pitt last year and her reported romance that began with Vince Vaughn while filming “The Break-Up” helped keep the movie in the public eye mostly because American media somehow considers this personal stuff, news WORTHY.

Even if you don’t care to see this film you know who they are because “They’re always in the press,” said Nikki Rocco, head of distribution for Universal, which released “The Breakup.” “Every time you turn around, somebody’s talking about Jennifer, or Jennifer and Brad, or Jennifer and Vince. It’s not why we made the movie, though either way the trailers (show the best parts) are selling as a vengeful romantic farce a la “The War of the Roses”? Turns out it’s the over rated movie of the year. Some films mix comedy and drama to arrive at a higher plane. “The Break-Up” relies mostly on star power and an occasional laugh.

It does start with a nice little kick: a pre-title sequence in which charming loudmouth Gary Grobowski (Vaughn) woos the poised Brooke Meyers (Aniston) at a Chicago Cubs game. No matter that Brooke’s sitting five seats over with her boyfriend and Gary’s with his crass best friend, Johnny (Jon Favreau); the two connect, and the credits unfold over candid snapshots of their subsequent long-term relationship. This turns out to be the problem. “The Break-Up” proper begins a few years later, as Brooke and Gary are preparing a dinner for their families in their upscale condo. A misunderstanding over lemons turns into a tiff, which escalates into a fight, and suddenly long-nursed grievances are being aired. She does all the planning and never gets any thanks for it; he can’t unwind after a long day without being nagged about picking up. He doesn’t want to go to the ballet; she doesn’t want a pool table in the living room.

Well, because it might be funny or insightful, or some combination of both. “The Breakup” mostly just lies there, though, alternately adoring and condemning its characters for their puppyish refusal to grow up. The couple’s rift goes nuclear, with each party trying to break the other down via calculated outrages (fake boyfriends, stripper parties) and pulling their friends into the widening vortex.

Because the script insists these two really belong together, though, it never dares get interestingly mean. Vaughn, who co-produced and co-wrote the original story, trades amusingly on the motor mouth routine he used to steal “Wedding Crashers” from Owen Wilson; it’s cheering, as well, to see a movie hero unafraid to be a pushy, overweight schlub. “The Breakup” asks him to evolve into a sensitive male, though, and if he’s not buying it, why should we?

The truth is that couples do drive each other crazy; it says so right there in the small print. Sometimes they grow closer as a result, and sometimes they fall apart, for good reasons and stupid ones. “The Breakup” raises the subject only to dither about the particulars, terrified the audience will be alienated.

Bug	Category: Comedy and Sports Rating: R for some strong violence, sexuality, nudity, language and drug use. Run Time: 1hr. 42min.

Synopsis: A lonely waitress with a tragic past, Agnes rooms in a run-down motel, living in fear of her abusive, recently paroled ex-husband. But when Agnes begins a tentative romance with Peter, an eccentric, nervous drifter, she starts to feel hopeful again--until the first bugs arrive.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: F

This should have been a comedy; it’s guaranteed to be spoofed in a "Scary Movie" or "Epic Movie" sort of parody film. Overall it's a nerve-rending, extremely unpleasant movie experience but Ashley Judd’s acting is compelling. The movie could mean a long stint in the doghouse for its two leads, Ashley Judd and Michael Shannon. It's regrettable, because these actors are clearly giving all they've got to a project that, ultimately, amounts to foolishness. We movie goers have made a lot of assumptions with this film title and just by watching the trailers. In addition we figure Bug has a killer cast and creepy-crawly vibe it can’t miss but it does and the end will surely leave you disappointed.

Director Friedkin gives us a five-character chamber piece, set in a downtrodden motel room out in the sticks. Bi-curious basket case Agnes (Judd) works as a waitress in a redneck bar by night, and shacks up in a motel room, in a pot-, coke-, and booze-induced stupor by day. It's her meager defense against the onslaught of just-paroled ex-husband Jerry who drops by to inflict verbal and physical abuse, not to mention dredging up memories of her long-lost son. The woman's only respite is her girlfriend, R.C., a fellow waitress who's a tad too freewheeling for the reserved Agnes. Twitched-out and fragile, she meets her perfect match in the quiet and shy Peter (Shannon), a war veteran who harbors traumas of his own. Soon after they hook up, Peter becomes increasingly convinced that his body's been colonized by bugs -- bugs laying eggs and traveling up and down his bloodstream. Peter claims to be an escapee from a government medical lab where he was the subject of nefarious tests. He suspects the bugs were bio-engineered by the government to be tools for mind control. Before you know it, Bug has become a full-blown freak show that gives conspiracy theory a bad name. As Peter and the needy Agnes become obsessive partners in mutual destruction it gets hard to feel sorry for them as they go from bad to worse.

Casino Royale

Category: Action/Adventure, Thriller, Adaptation and Sequel Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of violent action, a scene of torture, sexual content and nudity. Run Time: 2hr. 24 min.

Synopsis: James Bond's first 007 mission takes him to Madagascar, where he is to spy on a terrorist Mollaka. Not everything goes as planned and Bond decides to investigate, independently of the MI6 agency, in order to track down the rest of the terrorist cell. Following a lead to the Bahamas, he encounters Dimitrios and his girlfriend, Solange. He learns that Dimitrios is involved with Le Chiffre, banker to the world's terrorist organizations. Secret Service intelligence reveals that Le Chiffre is planning to raise money in a high-stakes poker game in Montenegro at Le Casino Royale. MI6 assigns 007 to play against him, knowing that if Le Chiffre loses, it will destroy his organization. 'M' places Bond under the watchful eye of the beguiling Vesper Lynd. At first skeptical of what value Vesper can provide, Bond's interest in her deepens as they brave danger together--and even torture at the hands of Le Chiffre. In Montenegro, Bond allies himself with Matthis, MI6's local field agent, and Felix Leiter, who is representing the interests of the CIA. The marathon game proceeds with dirty tricks and violence, raising the stakes beyond blood money and reaching a terrifying climax.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C+

This is a new Bond with a boxer's nose, football player body and albino blue eyes. He’s also the most intense and the most athletic of all the Bonds – the change is not in looks but demeanor and in story writing. Even the bad guys are different. It’s hard to pay attention to all the non descript Villains, even the various ultra-evil bad guys who pop in and out. Two hours into the movie you're still not entirely certain which guy is supposed to be the main villain. Speaking of time, at 144 minutes, "Casino Royale" is way too long. The poker game is responsible for that but I guess that the title should have told me that card games were going to be a big part of it all. Anyway the scenes are expertly shot and filled with humorous asides and some violent escapades during breaks in the table action. The final showdown has a card combo scene that you wouldn't see in a real poker game if you played four hours every day for a thousand years. I know that and I don’t play but I am getting beside myself.

Ian Fleming's Bond, is a no-nonsense sort who responds to a "shaken or stirred?" query from a bartender with a dismissive sneer and a sharp retort: "Do I look like I give a damn?" James Bond is super arrogant and super reckless, he kills without remorse and confines his trysting activities to married women, because that makes it easier to stay emotionally uninvolved. Never has a Bond character lost so many fights and been near death so many times he is more like Maxwell smart in that area. Yet in still gone are the fan favorite high-tech gadgets, the buxom femmes fatales with the flat line readings and the comic-book villains who often just about talked Bond to death before leaving him alone to expire, which of course meant he'd just escape and blow them up later.

Bond is still international; we pick up the action in Uganda, Africa, with Bond giving chase to a terrorist bomber in an extended sequence on a construction site that features more death-defying leaps and bounds than a Jet Li film. It's an impressively shot crowd pleaser – so perfect it seems like CGI. I thought to myself can any man really move like that?

Bond's main nemesis is a broke terrorist named Le Chiffre who occasionally sheds a tear of real blood due to some unexplained injury to one eye. However he is not a classic bad guy. Le Chiffre aims to win more than $100 million in a high-stakes poker showdown at the Casino Royale in Montenegro that would have even Michael Jordan saying, "That's too rich for my blood." Overall it’s a little too much story line and less action than I am accustomed to for a bond film, plus it moves away from the real bond theme. This is a Bourne Supremacy type of Bond and for a man who waits on the Bond telethons on TNT. I just thought this bond is really not in the theme of Bond movies that have made their trademark on American pop culture.

Catch A Fire

Category: Drama, Thriller, Politics/Religion and War Rating: PG-13 for thematic material involving torture and abuse, violence and brief language. Run Time: 1hr. 42 min.

Starring Tim Robbins, Derek Luke, Bonnie Henna, Mncedisi Shabangu, Terry Pheto

Directed by Phillip Noyce

Produced by Sydney Pollack, Debra Hayward, Liza Chasin

Written by Shawn Slovo (screenplay), Brenda Goldblatt (story research)

Distributed by Focus Features, Universal Pictures International

Release Date: October 27th, 2006

Synopsis: In South Africa, Patrick Chamusso is a charming and loving husband to his wife Precious, and a caring father to his two young daughters. He works as a foreman at the centrally located Secunda oil refinery, which is a symbol of South Africa's self-sufficiency at a time when the world was protesting the country's oppressive apartheid system. In his spare time, Patrick coaches a local boys' soccer team. Carefully toeing the hard line imposed on blacks by apartheid, Patrick is completely apolitical. Nic Vos is a Colonel in the country's Police Security Branch. The shrewd and charismatic Vos strives to maintain order in volatile situations, which have become more and more frequent as the outlawed activist organization African National Congress (ANC) rallies blacks against apartheid. Vos is also concerned for the safety of his wife and two daughters. He and his family live a world away from the Chamusso family--until the innocent Patrick comes under suspicion and is arrested (in June 1980) for sabotage of the Secunda oil refinery. His alibi is compromised, and Patrick is desperate to shield Precious from a past indiscretion and keep his job. But he is ill-prepared to withstand brutal interrogations by Vos' men. As Vos further insinuates himself into the lives of the Chamussos, to Patrick's shock and shame, Precious herself is jailed and tortured. Although he and Precious are soon released from custody, Patrick is stunned into action and completely reorients his sense of self and purpose. He leaves his family to join up with the ANC. Becoming a rebel fighter and political operative, Patrick is radicalized on behalf of his people and his country. He ultimately envisions a formidable and dangerous follow-up strike against the Secunda refinery, risking his own life and future. Change must and will come, for Patrick and his family, and for South Africa itself.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: B

Based on a true story, Catch A Fire chronicles the transition of Patrick Chamusso from an apolitical cog in the diabolical machine of South African apartheid to a revolutionary and a piston of change in the African National Congress' struggle to end the racist regime. Chamusso, as played by Derek Luke isn't quite what one would call a "sellout", he's more interested in not making any waves. It isn't until his wife is brutally assaulted and tortured by the South African "anti-terror" police detail that Derek Luke's character is finally truly changed, as he leaves his family to join a the African National Congress (ANC) who were fighting to bring an end to the apartheid regime.

Tim Robbins plays a South African police official who could best be described as being part of an "anti-terror" unit. This "anti-terror" theme is rammed home throughout the movie as the oppressive South African state spares no expense in describing any measure of resistance to White minority rule and privilege, and segregation, as "terrorism". Such harping seems clearly intentional and is probably meant so that the viewer can draw parallels between that rhetoric used there and the rhetoric we hear so much of from the U.S. government concerning terror today. I would expect nothing less given the openly progressive politics of Tim Robbins and his knack for subversive theater. Robbins as always is solid in his roll though Derek Luke's portrayal of Patrick Chamusso seem to be missing something as it didn't quite grab me. Overall Catch A Fire is a good film but not nearly as powerful as it could or maybe should be. It seems to have too much big budget fluff at times when independent film grit may have worked better. Ultimately, despite such politically charged and potentially powerful subject matter it doesn't quite seem to do what it's title suggest, though I would recommend seeing it. 

Catch and Release

Category: Comedy, Drama and Romance Rating: PG-13 for sexual content, language and some drug use. Run Time: 2 hr 04 min.

Starring: Jennifer Garner, Timothy Olyphant, Juliette Lewis, Sam Jaeger, Fiona Shaw

Directed by Susannah Grant

Produced by Casey Grant, Ryan Kavanaugh, Lynwood Spinks

Written by: Susannah Grant

Distributed by Sony Pictures Releasing

Release Date: January 26th, 2007

Synopsis: A woman must deal with the untimely death of her husband and the revelation of secrets he kept from her.

TsarBernard (a.k.a. Keith Johnson) Says Overall: C-

Unlike a lot of guys, I don't have a problem seeing romantic comedies. Sleepless in Seattle, Love Jones, Brown Sugar, liked them all. Sure they can be predictable, but they can also be fun, and, dare I say, romantic. But on the flipside, they can also be done so badly that watching them feels like slow torture. Such is the case with Catch and Release.

This film is not engaging, insightful, fun, or romantic in the least. The characters are all forgettable, cliché, and two dimensional, particularly Kevin Smith, who plays the screwy-but-caring Funny Fat Guy. Smith spends all his time looking unkempt in a robe, eating twenty-four seven, and dropping pithy sayings he writes for an herbal tea company. Juliette Lewis is wasted as the quirky, scattered New Age Fruitcake, arguably the most overused movie cliché outside the Hooker-with-a-Heart-of-Gold. You know the type: she serves horrible vegetarian meals, yammers on about spiritual cleansing and auras, is a massage therapist, seems incapable of caring for her Cute Kid, but really is a good person at heart. Double yawn.
And then there's Jennifer Garner, she of the cute smiles and dimples, who seems condemned to play nice girl roles where she can pout and cry and make the audience love her. It's not that Garner's a bad actress (I guess). It's just that the role is very bland. She never really feels convincing in her sorrow. Garner seems to cry on cue, as if we can hear the director yelling "Sad moment!", but the next she's making out with the Bad Boy. As for the performance, Garner and Olyphant have zero chemistry onscreen. It's as if we're seeing early rehearsals, not the finished product. Olyphant's attempt to play the roguish character that's really a nice guy inside comes off as some combination of disinterest, aloofness, even downright strangeness. You just don't see what Grey would like about him, but you don't care enough to give it much thought.

Children of Men

Category: Drama, Science Fiction/Fantasy, Thriller and Adaptation Rating: R for strong violence, language, some drug use and brief nudity. Run Time: 1hr. 54 min.

Starring Julianne Moore, Clive Owen, Michael Caine, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Charlie Hunnam

Directed by Alfonso Cuaron

Produced by Thomas Bliss, Armyan Bernstein, Hilary Shor

Written by Shawn Slovo (screenplay), Brenda Goldblatt (story research)

Distributed by Universal Pictures Distribution

Release Date: December 25th, 2006

Synopsis: A futuristic society faces extinction when no children are born and the human race has lost the ability to reproduce. England has descended into chaos, until an iron-handed warden is brought in to institute martial law. The warden's ability to keep order is threatened when a woman finds that she is pregnant with what would be the first child born in 27 years.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: B-

The year is 2027 and the world as we know it has fallen apart, except for Britain which "soldiers on" (pun intended once you see the film), though it doesn't seem too far behind the rest of the planet. As a society Britain is under some form of Martial Law as it approaches near anarchy. The British government seems concerned with little other than brutally suppressing immigrants and refugees and controlling what is left of modern society. Britain's government is also in an extended armed conflict with a rebel group nicknamed the "Fishes" who are allegedly fighting for immigrant and refugee rights, though judging by the chaotic nature of the society it's entirely plausible that the "Fishes" are just one of several groups in a protracted conflict with the government. It's not clear if human infertility is all that has caused the world to fall to pieces but it's at least a very large part of the reason. No children have been born on earth for the approximately 20 years and most of Britain goes into morning when the nation's youngest person, the 18-year old "Baby Diego" is killed. At least in Britain suicide is advertised and sold on television. It's a truly bleak landscape. The film leaves why women can no longer bare children to your own speculation, all we see is the shocking and miserable results. 

Near future dystopia seems to be the order of the day in American cinema as of late. Whether the warnings of impending doom come via near future science fiction such as Children or Men or V for Vendetta, or documentaries such as, An Inconvenient Truth it seems the error of our current ways is leaking into the Hollywood psyche if not the national consciousness. Based broadly on the 1992 novel by P.D. James, Children of Men is a well directed, brilliantly shot, and visually stunning film despite it's grim subject matter. The acting is solid too, which is no big surprise as Clive Owen rarely makes a bad lead, and usually does a decent job of choosing scripts. Centered around the secret discovery of a pregnant women in Britain, Kee, (played by Clare-Hope Ashitey, a Black woman interestingly enough), who initially is in/under the custody or protection of the rebel group "The Fishes", the film develops around Owen's character attempting to get Kee out of Britain and into the hands of possibly fictitious group known as "The Human Project". The film is quite thought provoking in it's open-ended arrangement. Even the title "Children of Men", seems to have a deeper meaning considering the sterility of women in the film and the chaotic nature of society. Are they attempting to say war and misery are children of mankind or maybe "men" more specifically, or something more profound? There is a scene in the film where the presence of an actual child seems to pause, if only for a second, the mass chaos and warfare taking place throughout the film. It's not really clear what if any argument is being made, but it leaves the viewer with much to ponder. Unfortunately this possible strong point is also the films biggest weakness. There is just too much left unexplained in the film. It's as if the user is dumped into the middle of movie where they've missed most of the relevant background info. Maybe we don't need to know why mankind has lost the ability to reproduce, but it would at least be nice to know how the rebel group at war with the government or the British government itself would hope to use the world's first birth in approximately 2 decades as political leverage. It would also be nice to know what the "Human Project" is and what exactly they are doing to try and restart society. I suppose at some level much of this is left out to keep the film from coming across as "preachy" but there are just too many major questions like these left unanswered. Couple this with the film's highly anticlimactic ending and you have a movie that is good, but with some tweaking, could have great.  

Click

Category: Comedy, Kids/Family and Science Fiction/Fantasy Rating: PG-13 for language, crude and sex related humor and some drug references. Run Time: 1 hr. 38 min.

Starring: Adam Sandler, Kate Beckinsale, Christopher Walken, David Hasselhoff, Sean Astin

Directed by Frank Coraci

Produced by Barry Bernardi, Tim Herlihy, Neal H. Moritz

Written by Steven Koren (screenplay), Mark O'Keefe (screenplay), Tim Herlihy (rewrite)

Distributed by 20th Century Fox Distribution

Release Date: June 23rd, 2006

Synopsis: A workaholic architect, who has been overlooking his family in favor of his career, comes across a universal remote that allows him to perform TiVo-like functions on his life, such as pausing events or fast-forwarding over them. When the remote begins creating its own memory and choosing what to fast-forward over, the man sees how much of his personal life has passed him by and realizes the importance of spending more time with his family.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B+

This is the sleeper of the year so far in my book. Click may look and sound like a comedy, but it’s not. My family and I watched it change into a serious film that adult men who work a lot should see. "Click” is sweet at heart, though, and it touches on areas of genuine unease for many men, including myself. He ends up in the “Beyond” section of Bed Bath & Beyond (good joke, better product placement), where he encounters Morty, who looks like an untenured mad professor and is played by the great Christopher Walken with a perm and line readings just this side of Saturn. Morty’s some sort of emissary from The Devil or God, can't really figure or call it, but who cares. Anyway, he gives Michael the Universal remote with a few warnings that go unheard: It programs itself after a while, and it can’t be returned.

After a first half that’s the epitome of Hollywood high-concept — summer spun sugar in its most agreeable form — this fantasy about a suburban father with a magic remote control tilts into darker and darker territory. By the end, the film’s having a full-on panic attack: Imagine “It’s a Wonderful Life” with Happy Gilmore in place of George Bailey and you’re almost there. You do not want to miss this film. No good guys or bad guys this time around just a mirror held up to what could be your life. The Hollywood emotion stuff takes over in the end and you almost get annoyed it turns out ok, but somehow it does though it manages not to be "a feel good movie".

Codename the Cleaner

Category: Action/Adventure, Comedy and Drama Rating: PG-13 for sexual content, crude humor and some violence. Run Time: 1 hr. 31 min.

Starring: Cedric The Entertainer, Lucy Liu, Nicollette Sheridan, Callum Keith Rennie, DeRay Davis

Directed by Les Mayfield

Produced by Lucy Liu, A.J. Dix, Anthony Rhulen

Written by George Gallo, Robert Adetuyi, David Rotman, Ryan Oxford

Distributed by New Line Cinema

Release Date: January 5th, 2007.

Synopsis:Jake is a seemingly regular guy who has no idea who he is after being hit over the head by mysterious assailants. When he finds himself unexpectedly entangled in a high-level government conspiracy, Jake and his pursuers begin to believe that he is an undercover agent who subconsciously holds a key piece of information that could expose an arms deal involving the CIA and FBI.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C-

The Condemned

Category: Action/Adventure and Drama Rating: R for pervasive strong brutal violence, and for language. Run Time: 1hr. 40 min.

Starring Steve Austin, Vinnie Jones, Trent Sullivan, Rick Hoffman, Nathan Jones

Directed by Scott Wiper (II)

Produced by Vince McMahon, George Vrabeck, Michael Gruber

Written by Rob Hedden, Andy Hedden, Scott Wiper (II)

Distributed by Lionsgate

Release Date: April 27th, 2007

Synopsis: A select group of death row inmates are offered the opportunity to compete in a deadly game on an abandoned island for one week. The winner of the game will have his or her sentence dropped down to life imprisonment and avoid execution.

Bruce Banter: Overall: C

(This review contains spoilers) I assumed that I would hate this film but I ended up giving it a passing grade in the end. Let’s get the bad right out of the way. World Wide Entertainment star Steve Austin is the lead guy, so you know this film is below grade in dialogue unless one thinks wrestling is real and the violent video games distributed each year are very different from each other. The cinematography is awful every fight scene is extremely close-up, which makes it difficult to tell who’s winning each fight. It’s hard to make out what’s happening on screen, viewers are reduced to that status of a Las Vegas boxing referee. Ironically the violent sexually laced rape scene was shot further away and much clearer. Luckily they did not show the gang rape but audiences heard the screams and saw others who watched it cry on screen which kind of brought that eeriness to it all. However in a reality TV snuff film I guess rape encounters would be very acceptable

The target audience for The Condemned is the explosion junkie, and men who really think that women in prison on death row all actually wear push up Victoria secret bras like the girls in the film. Steve Austin says about as many complete sentences as Arnold Schwarzenegger did twenty years ago in "Conan" but the difference is Steve can speak English well. The lack of real dialogue may be a plus for this film which is headed to the slaughter house domestically but it will be easy to flip for foreign markets with no need for elaborate subtitles or cultural translation. The language of explosions is universal to al cultures.

Truth is anybody paying to watch a contest on a remote South Pacific island to see people killed is bad but to actually go film it with the intention of marketing it for money is twisted and deserves no sympathy in my opinion. There is not even solace that the films main villain is turned away by FCC when he wants to bring the survivor murder style reality show to cable. The message has hit us already "violence junkies how far do you want to push the envelope?" - Nuff Said. 

CSA: Confederate States of America

Category: Comedy Rating: N/A Run Time: 1 hr. 31 min.

Starring: Evamarii Johnson, Rupert Pate, Larry Peterson, Charles Frank, Fernando Arenas

Directed by Kevin Willmott

Produced by Rick Cowan

Written by Kevin Willmott

Distributed by IFC Films

Release Date: October 7th, 2005

Synopsis: What if the South had won the Civil War? 'CSA' ventures a glimpse at such a world. It simulates the experience of watching the grand history of the Confederate nation as it fights to preserve its antebellum way of life. After triumphing at Gettysburg, the South sends Lincoln packing to Canada and gets cozy in the White House. The long-term result is slavery of all non-Aryans, an all-out conquest and apartheid in Latin America, an alliance with Hitler, a Cold War with Canada, and a slave shopping network.

Jupiter Hammon Says: Overall: A-

(WARNING: Contains Spoilers) Completed in 2003, Confederate States of America is a film whose release I have eagerly anticipated for well over a year. Yet, somehow, between Hurricane Katrina and high gas prices, it slipped off my radar during its October 2005 theatrical debut. The film has had limited distribution since its release. At the time of viewing, it was showing in less than 25 theaters nationwide. This is very unfortunate because it’s a movie I think a wider audience should see. Maybe this will be possible once it’s release to DVD and cable, but keep in mind it took 2 years to get picked up for distribution. The film is decidedly low budget although the picture quality is good. It was apparently shot or released in television format since it did not take up the movie cinema’s entire screen. The acting is also mediocre by Hollywood standards. But, that’s the point; it’s not a Hollywood film. All of these shortcomings are easily ignored by the films overall concept and storyboard. Movie goers will easily get over these minor distractions. However, be forewarned that this movie holds no punches. It is biting satire on race in America.

Presented by Spike Lee (a sort of endorsement not to be confused with produced by), CSA is a clever mock documentary written and directed by University of Kansas film studies professor Kevin Willmott. The film presents an alternate American history. CSA mocks Ken Burns’ critically acclaimed PBS documentary The Civil War. In this alternate universe, the South won the Civil War and slavery persisted to this day in a Confederacy extending from coast to coast and that colonizes all of Central and South America taking Manifest Destiny to new heights. 

"If you are going to tell people the truth, you'd better make them laugh. Otherwise they'll kill you."- George Bernard Shaw - This quote begins the film which is portrayed as a controversial British Broadcasting Service documentary aired on a Confederate television network that was originally banned because of the nature of its content. The film takes you through Confederate history staying as close to reality as possible. Confederate Secretary of State Judah P. Benjamin successfully persuades Britain and France to intervene in the war resulting in a troop infusion that turns the tide for the Grays at Gettysburg. The Yankees surrender. Lincoln is exiled. And, Robert E. Lee wants to get rid of all the slaves. He’s labeled an undercover emancipationist virtually destroying his military and political career. During Reconstruction of the North where Boston and New York have been burned and pillaged and most of the region remains in ruins with the people depressed and dejected, President Jefferson Davis brings slavery back to Northerners to unite the nation. Whites are told to rebuild the North themselves or take a slave. The majority choose to take a slave. Slavery for everyone according to white heritage is the national mantra. The Davis Plan was a huge success and solidifies the slave economy and the CSA way of life. Some Northerners reject this way of life and flee to Canada. And just as they did during the antebellum period, runaway slaves continue to seek refuge in Canada creating strained relations with the CSA. After several decades, things come to a head ending with the CSA building a wall along its border with “Red Canada” fittingly called the Cotton Curtain. The John Brown Underground is a revolutionary group with the Confederate Bureau of Investigation (CBI) hot on their tails. The Office of Racial Identity is established to ensure racial purity through DNA testing. 

Framing this film as a television program allows for commercial breaks which Willmott uses as satirical interludes although satire is spread throughout the film. Commercials air for the TV show Leave It to Beulah, Sambo X-15 engine cleaner, the Slave Shopping Network and Massacard, The Shackle (a lo-jack device), Coon Chicken Inn, and Darky toothpaste to name a few. Willmott also uses fake footage such as a phony D.W. Griffith silent film about the capture of Lincoln disguised in blackface and a Hollywood film I Married An Abolitionist. 

All of this is meant to shock the audience which it succeeds at doing. It’s suppose to be comedic along the lines of a Dave Chappelle skit. However, like some of Chappelle’s skits CSA falls just short of funny but is nonetheless thought provoking. I just never really laughed nor did the 19 Caucasian people viewing the film with me. Willmott exposes racism at its core. Only a skinhead or Ku Klux Klansman could laugh. To put things into context, the film ends by recapping all of the commercials and then asks whether things have really changed in an America that still uses racial stereotypes to promote products such as Uncle Ben’s Rice and Aunt Jemima’s Pancakes and Syrup. The film left me pondering whether the South really lost the war. I’ve often said that significant parts of the Northeast, Midwest, and Western United States harbor what I call Confederate Southern Sentiments. The Mason-Dixie line in all actuality is imaginary and white skin is a strong bond. Sure, the Confederates lost the physical battle but they’ve certainly won the White House, the nation, and a large part of American culture which is grounded in White supremacy.

Constellation

Category: Drama Rating: PG-13 for brief strong language and a sexual reference. Run Time: 1hr. 45 min.

Starring Billy Dee Williams, Gabrielle Union, Melissa DeSousa, Hill Harper, Zoe Saldana

Directed by Jordan Walker-Pearlman

Produced by Morris Ruskin, Peter Kleidman, Nancy Archuleta

Written by Jordan Walker-Pearlman

Distributed by Codeblack Entertainment, Shoreline Entertainment

Release Date: February 2nd, 2007

Synopsis: Returning to the Deep South to a town that once held back their opportunities but now glistens as a modern, sexy city, the Boxer family and its extended members discover in the memory of a loved one what binds them together. The tale chronicles the lives and loves of this African-American family as they are forced to come to terms with a tumultuous past marked by an unrequited interracial affair. And the family patriarch must confront his demons, amidst the changing racial fabric of society and his own family.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: C+

Race naturally plays a large part in what complicates each of these relationships and I am not sure if it is dealt with honestly. But it's largely an external force with society's expectations having caused the situation that kept Carmel and Bear apart. With the exception of Helms, these are characters trying to get comfortable with whom they are, and the color of one another's skin is irrelevant. The obstacles are emotional and will require them to be honest with themselves before mending bonds.

Gabrielle Union character loved the wrong man at the wrong time--a White man (David Clennon) in pre-civil rights Alabama. After he breaks her heart by succumbing to societal pressure, she spends a lifetime yearning for the love that could never be, while providing unconditional love for those all around her. This seems like a story told many times to African Americans and viewed from the side of Black people but I am waiting to see what happens or how this backdrop would play out on the White family side. This film is really interesting depending on where you are at in your opinion on current race relations and at the same time tries to make sure no blame is exalted to any race but in the antebellum south, how real is that?

The Covenant

Category: Suspense/Horror, Thriller and Teen Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, some disturbing images, sexual content, partial nudity and language. Run Time: 1 hr. 37 min.

Starring: Steven Strait, Sebastian Stan, Laura Ramsey, Taylor Kitsch, Toby Hemingway

Directed by Renny Harlin

Produced by Andre Lamal, James McQuaide, Roger Mincheff

Written by J.S. Cardone

Distributed by Sony Pictures Releasing

Release Date: September 8th, 2006.

Synopsis: In 1692, in the Ipswich Colony of Massachusetts, five families with untold power formed a covenant of silence. One family, lusting for more, was banished; their bloodline disappearing without a trace--until now. This thriller tells the story of the Sons of Ipswich, four young students at the elite Spencer Academy who are bound by their sacred ancestry. As descendants of the original families who settled in Ipswich Colony in the 1600's, the boys have all been born with special powers. When the body of a dead student is discovered after a party, secrets begin to unravel which threaten to break the covenant of silence that has protected their families for hundreds of years.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C+

This story is not really the stuff of big screen fiction. Its really the fodder for teenage girls and gay boys. Its about a group of male students, dubbed the Sons of Ipswich, at a tiny New England private school. These young males are all, descendants of the original settlers of the Ipswich Colony in the 1600s. According to the film hundreds of people fled Early Europe to the America’s because people were being burned as witches and warlocks however during that time it was also the time of the Salem Witch Trials/hunts, so America was doing some house cleaning also. This ethnic cleansing, I mean witch hunt resulted in all witch and warlocks having to go into hiding, all were killed except 5 families. The oldest male of each is gifted with supernatural powers that really kick in when they hit 18, or as they put it, “ascend.” The problem is, the powers come with a price because any time they are used, they cause rapid aging. Of course, this doesn’t stop the rich and spoiled youths from employing them for trivial purposes as lifting up a woman’s skirt. This aspect sorta throws me cause they were all rich and from what I recall those usually being burned as witches and warlocks were mostly all poor whites or common folk; yes they could have “come up” 400 years later but all five families not likely. In America most wealth is hereditary or stolen. Anyway since there is no real nudity outside the skirt blow up scene, this could have been on Tv after Buffie the Vampire slayer. In short it’s a generic tale of kids stumbling through this teen-oriented tale of prep-school warlocks in line to inherit untold (but dangerous!) powers. Along the way, they struggle with a laughable bad-seed villain, their own pointless macho posturing and some halfhearted love triangles. Girls adore them and they swim around in little shorts that would make gay men blush and they all talk to each other really close as if they are going to kiss although we see that they all like girls. This cobbled-together teenybopper tripe about feuding male witches — apparently they can’t even be granted the manlier dignity of being called ‘’warlocks'’ — with nothing to offer but classic teenage dialogue. The Bad Male Witch taunts the Good Male Witch by asking, ‘’How ’bout I make you my wee-yotch?'’ Not Beyatch but "We–yotch", that darn, Hip-hop has even ruined the warlocks.

Crank

Category: Action/Adventure, Comedy and Thriller Rating: R for strong violence, pervasive language, sexuality, nudity and drug Run Time: 1 hr 23 min.

Starring: Jason Statham, Amy Smart, Efren Ramirez, Jose Pablo Cantillo, Jay Xcala

Directed by Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor

Produced by David Scott Rubin, Eric Reid (III), Michael Paseornek

Written by: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor

Distributed by Lionsgate 

Release Date: September 1st, 2006

Synopsis: Chev Chelios is about to begin his morning with an unexpected wake-up call. Groggy, practically unable to move and with a heart that's barely beating, he hears the voice of thug Ricky Verona, who reveals Chev has been poisoned in his sleep and only has an hour to live. As it turns out, Chev is a hit man who freelances for a major West Coast syndicate. A run of the mill job the night before instead went awry: he let his target slip away in an effort to quit professional killing and start a new life with his girlfriend Eve. Now, Chev must keep moving to stay alive: the only way to prolong the poison from stopping his heart is to keep his adrenaline flowing. As the clock ticks, Chelios cuts a swath through the streets of Los Angeles, wreaking havoc on those who dare stand in his way. He must rescue Eve from danger, stay two steps ahead of his nemeses and search for an antidote to save his own life.

TsarBernard (a.k.a. Keith Johnson) Says Overall: D

Okay, first off, I confess that I'm one of those people who demands that even action pictures have decent acting, likeable characters, and a halfway logical plot. Now before you label me a snob who can't enjoy a good mindless action picture, know that among my favorite films are "Face Off", "The One", "Deep Blue Sea", and that classic gangs-gone-wild flick "The Warriors". It doesn't always have to be Shakespeare to be enjoyable. But it also doesn't have to look like something written by horny teenage boys.

Crank falters from the first scene, with hit man Chev Chelios (Jason Statham of "The Transporter" fame) being menaced by Latino bad guys sporting clothes right out of the ˜80s and accents as thick as the Frito Bandito's. As revenge for a hit they give him a drug that will kill him if his heart rate slows to normal, thus forcing Chelios to find ways to keep his metabolism in overdrive. Preposterous? Sure, but it has all the makings of good camp fun, right?

Wrong! Crank never rises above the level of clichés: Latin thugs who act like extras from "Scarface", women gyrating naked in cages on rooftops, a Haitian cab driver with drugs in his glove compartment, idiot cops who couldn't catch a cold in a blizzard, a dumb, obedient girlfriend. There's not one likeable character in the mix, which is too bad when the mix includes that dumb plot.

Okay, we have the mindless part down, so the action is gotta rock, right?

Wrong! Car chases are jangles of crashes and jarring camera angles with no real excitement fights are short and frankly boring encounters between Chelios and his enemies rife with comic book dialogue. Worse for Statham fans, there's nary a karate kick or acrobatic flip in the whole movie. Statham's signature moves are all but missing. Even the gunplay is kept to a minimum! Somehow a film about a guy literally running for his life feels slow and plodding. The screeching, ear-popping soundtrack, rather than add excitement, serves to further dull the senses. What should be a fun trashy movie is just--trash.

Statham, usually capable of conveying a cocky attitude and a certain square-jawed charm, just comes across as mean and unlikable. You don't care if his character lives or dies. Dwight Yokum is useless as his sex-crazed doctor friend. Actress Amy Smart actually gives a bad name to the term "dumb blonde". Portraying a ditz slightly less intelligent than Paris Hilton, her function seems to be to take orders and provide sex on demand. A car chase sees her servicing Statham gotta keep that heart rate up, you know -- while they're fleeing the thugs. It's meant to be funny, but comes off as juvenile. Later Statham gets his heart rate up by sexing Smart in public with dozens of people watching. If Flava Flav played a shuckin' and jivin' happy slave, it it would barely be more offensive to anyone with a brain than Smart's clueless sex toy.

I'd go on, but I fear any more thought given to this mess would stop MY heart. It was reported that Jason Statham wanted to be cast as the next James Bond. Whether he's good enough for that is debatable, but the actor does possess a certain tough guy charm that holds up well on screen, and he's a decent actor. Statham has the potential to be a bona fide leading man, but if he wants to be really taken seriously and elevated to the levels of the Bond or Bourne films, he needs to start choosing better scripts than this dreck.

Daddy's Little Girls

Category: Comedy and Romance Rating: PG-13 for thematic material, drug and sexual content, some violence and language. Run Time: 1 hr. 35 min.

Starring: Gabrielle Union, Idris Elba, Louis Gossett Jr., Tasha Smith, Gary Anthony Sturgis

Directed by Tyler Perry

Produced by Tyler Perry, Reuben Cannon

Written by Tyler Perry

Distributed by Lionsgate

Release Date: February 14th, 2007

Synopsis: A successful female attorney falls in love with a janitor, the single father of three daughters, over the objections of her father.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: B

Date Movie

Category: Comedy and Romance Rating: PG-13 for continuous crude and sexual humor, including language. Run Time: 1 hr. 30 min.

Starring: Alyson Hannigan, Adam Campbell, Fred Willard, Jennifer Coolidge, Eddie Griffin

Directed by Aaron Seltzer

Produced by Paul Schiff

Written by Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer

Distributed by 20th Century Fox Distribution

Release Date: February 17th, 2006.

Synopsis: The story of hopeless romantic Julia Jones, who has finally met the man of her dreams, the very British Grant Fonckyerdoder. But before they can have their Big Fat Greek Wedding, they'll have to Meet the Parents, hook-up with The Wedding Planner, and contend with Grant's friend Andy - a spectacularly beautiful woman who wants to put an end to her Best Friend's Wedding.

Eyecalone Says: Overall: F

I'm going to cut to the chase because Date Movie was not a very good movie. You should not see it with a date, You should not see it on a plate. You should not see it at a bar, you should not see it from a car. You should not see it in a chair, you should not see it anywhere. Straight from the "Scary Movie" family of films and boasting 1/3 of the same writers, Date Movie is every bit as bad as that family of movies, it's saving grace possibly being, that it's not quite as lewd or sexually offensive as the Scary Movie line. The "humor" is sub-sophomoric, predictable, and seemingly will only be found funny by people "under the influence" or adolescents which it seemed the theater was filled with while I was watching this movie. I can count the number of times I seriously laughed on one hand, the rest of the time I spent trying to  figure out what they gave people like Lil' John and Carmen Electra to do celebrity cameos. On top of that though the film is supposed to parody "date movies" but many of the parodies come far out of "right field" and seemingly coming from movies that weren't even about dating. Date Movie is just a ridiculous, mostly un-funny, mess of a film, to be avoided like the plague this opening weekend - you'll get more laughs staying home and playing with your kids.

Dave Chappelle's Block Party

Category: Comedy, Documentary and Musical/Performing Arts Rating: R for language. Run Time: 1 hr. 40 min.

Starring: Dave Chappelle, Kanye West, Dante 'Mos Def' Smith, Erykah Badu, Talib Kweli

Directed by Michel Gondry

Produced by Dave Chappelle, Bob Yari, Michel Gondry

Written by N/A

Distributed by TLA Releasing

Release Date: March 3rd, 2006

Synopsis: 'Dave Chappelle's Block Party' spotlights comedy superstar Dave Chappelle in all-new freestyle standup material, and also one-time-only performances by Kanye West, Mos Def, Erykah Badu, Dead Prez, Jill Scott, and The Roots, among others. The combination of comedy and music was shot on location, as Chappelle threw a party in downtown Brooklyn, inviting local residents and cameras. Academy Award-winning filmmaker Michel Gondry and cinematographer Ellen Kuras captured the performances.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: B+

In the voice of a Rick James being imitated by David Chappelle.. "It's a Block Party bitches!"

I was supposed to be at this actual event but the rain jacked my plans up, but its ok now that it's been turned into a documentary/concert/movie with a standup comedy routine that made me feel like I was there. In the end it was a unique movie experience I must admit. Maybe that is why Chappelle called the block party "the best single day of his career." Yep even better than the day he signed that 50 million dollar contract. In fact the contract may be part of the reason this film was even made. If you saw him on Oprah, you might realize "There is something about a $50 million contract that feels wrong to him, that threatens to build a wall between his personality and the way he likes to use it. The voices say, can I sign a $50 million contract and still remain the person I am happy to be?" The answer for him was no, that's why he had to jet to Africa and hence the rumors started.

Not until he did more than 2 hours of James Lipton's "Inside the Actors Studio" were his personality and thoughts clarified and the rumors corrected. However none of his subsequent interviews completed who he is until now. This movie gives Dave's mainstream audience a.k.a. White fans an appreciation of who he is, mainly through his friends, what he assembled, where he assembled, and his speech without others writing in his lines. Even African Americans were probably saying, oh that's who David Chappelle is after seeing him enjoying the company of Fred Hampton Jr. Critics are saying that "not since Richard Pryor's 'Live on the Sunset Strip' has a comic icon returned to the ring carrying so much baggage." I disagree because this all happened before the crazy rumors. After 9 months in media hiatus and exile, Dave Chappelle is back. And to celebrate, he's throwing a party his way.

Witness the "socially conscious artist" assembly of Mos Def, Kanye West, The Fugees, Dead Prez, The Roots, Talib Kweli , Jill Scott and Erykah Badu just to name a few. Witness the respect paid to hip hop legends like Kool Herc and Big Daddy Kane who did hip hop in a different way than the commercial gangsta' rappers of today. As Chappelle discusses rap before payola got out of control... "You get to see artists do what they do, without anything in between. No radio stations playing a song five times a day so you have to love it. Just you and the artist. You get to make a judgment for yourself." We all have a message we want to get across," Chappelle says of his cast of hip-hop luminaries, from Kanye West and Mos Def to Dead Prez and Jill Scott. "And it's not just about making money." It so serious he got the Fugees back together, now that's an intimate arbitration there. Conclude that with a band from a Historically Black College and you are onto something. When Chappelle enlists Central State University's marching band members to pile onto buses and take their tubas, drums and batons to New York it's just a special moment. (Outside of the African American day parade in Harlem every September the sight of a drum line parading through urban just does not happen.)

It's just enough Chappelle as a host and presence, intermixed with musical talent and others highlighted to make this refreshing and wishing that you were at the semi-secret street party in Brooklyn on September 18th, 2004.This film is surprisingly soulful despite the overuse and abundance of listening to black people call each other nigger. -Nuff said

The Da Vinci Code

Category: Drama, Thriller and Adaptation Rating: PG-13 for disturbing images, violence, some nudity, thematic material, brief drug references and sexual content. Run Time: 2 hr. 29 min.

Starring: Tom Hanks, Audrey Tautou, Ian McKellen, Alfred Molina, Jurgen Prochnow

Directed by Ron Howard

Produced by Dan Brown, Todd Hallowell, Brian Grazer

Written by Akiva Goldsman (Screenplay), Dan Brown (Source Material from novel: "The Da Vinci Code")

Distributed by Sony Pictures Releasing

Release Date: May 19th, 2006.

Synopsis: Famed symbologist Professor Robert Langdon is called to the Louvre museum one night where a curator has been murdered, leaving behind a mysterious trail of symbols and clues. With his own survival at stake, Langdon, aided by the police cryptologist Sophie Neveu, unveils a series of stunning secrets hidden in the works of Leonardo Da Vinci, all leading to a covert society dedicated to guarding an ancient secret that has remained hidden for 2000 years. The pair set off on a thrilling quest through Paris, London and Scotland, collecting clues as they desperately attempt to crack the code and reveal secrets that will shake the very foundations of mankind.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B+

Welcome the first summer blockbuster in a decade that has hugely excited people and is not a sequel, remake, science-fiction extravaganza or sword-and-sorcery kids fantasy film. Critics who trash this movie must not have read the book which is so good it has been translated into 44 languages, even rivaling the sales of the highly popular Harry Potter series. The movie is worth your money and an opening weekend of 77 million might make the case of that, but it’s really fueled by the controversy. Controversy often causes media hype so due to the media hype of the movie it may come off as an ordinary movie, no matter what. The book like the movie combines the detective thriller, conspiracy, and fiction genres. Ron Howard did a great job considering the immense challenges involved in adapting such a talky novel, into a film although there are some alterations because seeing some things on screen may have irked people more than reading about them. Also including unknown actress Audrey Tautou as Sophie, was a good move. Other changes involve characters like Sophie’s brother, for one) and the conspiracy has been narrowed from all mankind suppressing the Sacred Feminine to the Catholic Church specifically denying the role of Mary Magdalene in the life of Christ.

I found it to be a fast-moving thriller that’s brainy, controversial and thought provoking as Dan Brown’s book. Fact, fiction and speculation are mixed in and are hard to separate, sort of like today’s news and historical accounts. The idea that “the rule of White men” is built on a violent and contrived, false history that amounts to ill gotten gains only angers and shocks reactionary White men who are usually the ones railing against this film. None of it insults my senses, in fact that idea that the descendants of Jesus today would be mostly Nordic looking White people is the real blasphemy to the historians I read. However this is not a historical account it’s a novel with some history in it, though what is history and what is not won’t ever be settled. The ideas laid forth in this film did not start with Dan Brown and won’t end with him, they were originally put forth by real historians thou. Nonetheless all of the films tenets will remain in the conspiracy section even if the Pope himself said it was true.

In my opinion whenever a book/film gets people debating and challenging established beliefs that had never been seriously challenged in the public realm, it’s good for society. The Da Vinci Code has helped generate popular interest in speculation concerning the Holy Grail legend and the role of Mary Magdalene in the history of Christianity. From a religious point of view, some critics consider it sacrilegious, and decry the many negative implications about the Catholic Church and Opus Dei. Ironically at the same time the Church has benefited because it has re-ignited interest in the history of the Catholic Church. As well as re-invigorating interest in the Christian thought and teachings. The Da Vinci Code has also spawned numerous “biters” or novels that have a striking resemblance to The Da Vinci Code.

As a known purveyor of Conspiracy let me get right into the film’s plot. Which involves a conspiracy by the Catholic Church to cover up the “true” story of Jesus? The Vatican knows it is living a lie but does so to keep itself in power. The film concerns the attempts of Robert Langdon aka Tom Hanks, Professor of Religious Symbology at Harvard University, to solve the murder of renowned curator Jacques Saunière of the Louvre Museum in Paris. The title The Da Vinci Code, refers to many religious things and of course the painter Leonardo Da Vinci (who probably would agree with Dan Brown) but specifically it refers to among other things, to the fact that Saunière’s body is found in the Denon Wing of the Louvre naked and posed like Leonardo da Vinci’s famous drawing, the Vitruvian Man, with a cryptic message written beside his body and a Pentagram drawn on his stomach in his own blood. The interpretation of hidden messages inside Leonardo’s famous works, including "The Mona Lisa" and "The Last Supper", figure prominently in the solution to the mystery. Vitruvian Man, by Leonardo da Vinci. The main conflict in the novel revolves around the solution to some mysteries like what secret was Saunière protecting that led to his murder? Who is the mastermind behind his murder? The unraveling of the mystery requires the solution to a series of brain-teasers, including anagrams and number puzzles. The solution itself is found to be intimately connected with the possible location of the Holy Grail and to a mysterious society called the Priory of Sion, as well as to the Knights Templar.

The secrets of the Grail are connected, to Leonardo Da Vinci’s work as follows: Leonardo was a member of the Priory of Sion and knew the secret of the Grail. The secret is in fact revealed in "The Last Supper", in which no actual chalice is present at the table. The figure seated next to Christ is not a man, but a woman, his wife Mary Magdalene. Most reproductions of the work are from a later alteration that obscured her obvious female characteristics. Which often happens in “history”. The Mona Lisa is actually a self-portrait by Leonardo as a woman. The androgyny reflects the sacred union of male and female which is implied in the holy union of Jesus and Mary Magdalene. Such parity between the cosmic forces of masculine and feminine has long been a deep threat to the established power of the Church. The name Mona Lisa is actually an anagram for “Amon L’Isa”, referring to the father and mother gods of Ancient African culture specifically in Egyptian society (namely Amon and Isis).

In the end, it’s a complex movie about ideas. That makes it unique in a big-budget Hollywood that is has been constantly dumbing itself down since the mid-’80s, and if this movie, with its immense built-in following, fails for many my point is still made. Either way, Hollywood is not likely to be this intellectually ambitious again anytime soon. Go see it even if you have not read the book, I guarantee that you will feel different that the critic's reviews.

Day Watch

Category: Art/Foreign, Science Fiction/Fantasy, Adaptation and Sequel Rating: R for violence. Run Time: 2 hr. 19 min.

Starring: Konstantin Khabensky, Maria Poroshina (II), Dmitry Martynov, Galina Tyunina, Vladimir Menshov

Directed by Timur Bekmambetov

Produced by Aleksandr Talal, Timur Bekmambetov (screenplay adaptation), Sergei Lukyanenko (Source Material from novel: "Dnevnoy Dozor")

Written by Neil Marshall

Distributed by Fox Searchlight Pictures

Release Date: June 1st, 2007.

Synopsis: A horror tale set in contemporary Moscow that revolves around the conflict and balance maintained between the forces of light and darkness--the result of a medieval truce between the opposing sides. This ancient war between the forces of Light and Darkness is reaching a tragic outcome. Each side has gained a powerful Great Other, who are headed for a clash, and Anton Gorodetsky is once again caught up in the midst of things. On one side is Anton’s son, Yegor, who has joined the ranks of the 'Dark Others', while Anton's love interest Svetlana is the hope of the 'Light'. But that's just the beginning of his troubles: Anton is on the run after having been accused of murder. Things are getting worse, and only the ancient 'Chalk of Fate' can save the day. The problem is the magical Chalk was lost hundreds of years ago.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: C-

Daywatch is the 2^nd part of a Russian epic trilogy that borders on the concept  of good Vs evil, light Vs dark etc. We have seen it all before but its foreign so I figured  it might give us something different. It is a sequel to the 2004 film Night Watch, featuring the same cast. It is based on the second and the third part of Sergey Lukyanenko's novel The Night Watch rather than its follow-up novel Day Watch. Unfortunately if you have not seen the first film you will probably be lost watching this one and you might get tired of reading the subtitles.

I might as well give you an overview of the plot because if you haven’t seen one, you wont understand shit that is happening on the screen you will just be waiting for the next special effect. Keep in mind this was all told to me by a friend cause I didn’t understand it myself but here it goes:

Deja Vu

Category: Action/Adventure, Romance, Science Fiction/Fantasy and Thriller Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and terror, disturbing images and some sensuality. Run Time: 2hr. 06 min.

Synopsis: Everyone has experienced the unsettling mystery of déjà vu--that flash of memory when you meet someone new you feel you've known all your life or recognize a place even though you've never been there before. But what if the feelings were actually warnings sent from the past or clues to the future? It is déjà vu that unexpectedly guides ATF agent Doug Carlin through an investigation into a shattering crime. Called in to recover evidence after a bomb sets off a cataclysmic explosion on a New Orleans Ferry, Carlin is about to discover that what most people believe "is only in their heads" is actually something far more powerful--and will lead him on a mind-bending race to save hundreds of innocent people.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: A-

For those who study and read science, we know that “time travel” has long been a contentious topic within physicist. The debate was re-awakened 10 years ago, with Stephen Hawking and several other high-level physicists making statements to the effect that they believe time travel may be possible. It has long been believed that single particles might travel backwards in time. However, what Hawking and company have suggested is that large, multi-particle systems may also be able to perform the feat. In other words, people. Basically saying "if you combine Einstein's general theory of relativity with quantum theory, it does begin to seem a possibility." He acknowledged that while he felt that time travel was theoretically possible, it was unlikely ever to become a practical process. Even asking government to provide funding for theoretical research into the subject. His belief was that true "[Research] doesn't involve much money - what it needs is an openness of mind to consider possibilities that might appear fantastic." The downside to all this is that the power requirements of any hypothetical time machine would be a little on the heavy side and we see that in the film, in fact and the suggestion that every blackout as of recent comes from powering these machines for a time travel trip. In reality Dr. Michio Kaku, professor of theoretical physics at City University of New York, believes that while travel in time could be achieved, the energy required would "far exceed any energy source on earth." This science fiction concept is old but intriguing, even Denzel had recently spoken about his own personal experience with Déjà vu, stating he does not think that a time machine which looks like and works like that shown in the Terminator films could exist. He had to be talked into the role for this film but he pointed out that the high tech gadgetry used in the movie are already being used on some scale for surveillance of which the the public is not aware. Anyway I must digress before I spoil something for you but I must say outside of the story and Denzel, the rest of the cast is also very good-- including the intriguing Patton, Val Kilmer, Adam Goldberg and 80’s sitcom favorite Erika Alexander from living single. The bad guy is a Timothy McVeigh impersonator played by Jim “Jesus” Caviezel. – Yippie Kai Yai

The Departed

Category: Action/Adventure, Drama, Crime/Gangster and Remake Rating: R for strong brutal violence, pervasive language, some strong sexual content and drug material. Run Time: 2hr. 30min.

Synopsis: 'The Departed' is set in South Boston, where the state police force is waging war on organized crime. Young undercover cop Billy Costigan (Leonardo DiCaprio) is assigned to infiltrate the mob syndicate run by gangland chief Costello (Jack Nicholson). While Billy is quickly gaining Costello's confidence, Colin Sullivan (Matt Damon), a hardened young criminal who has infiltrated the police department as an informer for the syndicate, is rising to a position of power in the Special Investigation Unit. Each man becomes deeply consumed by his double life, gathering information about the plans and counter-plans of the operations he has penetrated. But when it becomes clear to both the gangsters and the police that there's a mole in their midst, Billy and Colin are suddenly in danger of being caught and exposed to the enemy -- and each must race to uncover the identity of the other man in time to save himself.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B+

Money well spent and no regrets on The Departed. Adapted from the 2002 Hong Kong action film “Infernal Affairs” by the Dorchester-born screenwriter William Monahan , The Departed is also the closest we’ve come yet to "The Great Boston Movie", a beast that requires more honesty than filmmakers (and audiences) have been willing to grant. The film’s only serious flaws are established from the outset with a plot whereby a crime boss leader is trying to find out who is the rat in his crew, overlooking an admitted ex-cop. From the commercial and trailer we know its Leonardo DiCaprio a.k.a. Billy Costigan. Who is recruited by the cops to take on criminal tendencies and infiltrate the Costello gang, where he can serve as an informer. He is so obviously the rat, it can’t be him. Also the film touches on class and race in segregated Boston, but never follows up on it in anyway, we're just supposed to know why Boston cops are racist. For example Narrating the film’s opening passages against a backdrop of news footage of the 1974 anti-busing violence, Costello lays out his version of politic analysis: Telling viewers “That’s what the Black chappies never realized. No one gives it to you. You have to take it.“ It’s a nice line but it’s forced considering the story line. 

All the actors bring their 'A' games to this triumphant bruiser of a film, its darkly wanton wit the only defense against complete chaos. DiCaprio and Damon give explosive, emotionally complex performances, but it must be said that Jack Nicholson reaches undreamed-of heights of decadent devilment as Irish mob kingpin Frank Costello (playing a satanic character named after a famous real-life gangster and modeled after a more recent Boston crook profiled on “60 Minutes”). Whether he’s wielding a gun or a dildo, buying off cops, dissing Catholic priests as Foley wannabe’s, seducing children into a life of crime, letting it snow cocaine on favored hookers or chatting while elbow-deep in blood, Nicholson is electrifying. Dispassionately executing a woman on a beach, Costello notes to his henchman Mr. French (a terrific Ray Winstone), “She fell funny.” But Costello is no campy Joker. Channeling James Cagney in White Heat and Paul Muni in Scarface, Nicholson leeches out the glamour to create a landmark portrait of evil. Let us not forget Matt Damon a.k.a. Colin Sullivan, who is recruited by gang boss Frank Costello (Jack Nicholson) to go through the police academy and serve as his inside cop. He has risen very fast through the ranks to a top position in an elite special unit fighting organized crime. As both men become ingrained in their double lives and the police unit begins to narrow in on Costello, each mole sets out to deduce the identity of the other — not knowing they’re linked in a romantic relationship with the same woman: a police psychiatrist Vera Farmiga who is sexing them both and gets pregnant with a trick baby, a story plot that could have been followed up with. Anthony Anderson has a small role, I would say he did not need it but it’s a paycheck, the other noteable actor involved in this is Mark Wahlberg who saves the day in this dark dramatic film. - Yippie Kai Yai

The Descent

Category: Horror, Thriller Rating: R for strong violence/gore and language. Run Time: 1 hr. 39 min.

Starring: Shauna MacDonald, Natalie Mendoza, Alex Reid, Saskia Mulder, Nora-Jane Noone

Directed by N/A

Produced by Paul Smith (XVI), Christian Colson, Paul Ritchie

Written by Neil Marshall

Distributed by Lionsgate

Release Date: August 4th, 2006.

Synopsis: One year after a tragic accident, six girlfriends meet in a remote part of the Appalachians for their annual caving trip. Deep below the surface of the earth, disaster strikes when a rock falls and blocks their route back to the surface. The girls soon learn that Juno, the thrill-seeking leader of the expedition, has brought them to an unexplored cave and that as a result no knows where they are to come rescue them. The group splinters and each push on, praying for another exit. But there is something else lurking under the earth - a race of monstrous humanoid creatures that are adapted perfectly to life in the dark. As the friends realize they are now prey, they are forced to unleash their most primal instincts in an all-out war against an unspeakable horror - one that attacks without warning, again and again and again.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B+

If you have not noticed, that the writers at Playahata.com rarely review horror films, then you haven’t been checking us that long. I think we all have an unspoken consensus that horror is either a waste of money or patronizing it is just a bad practice. However every now and then this Puerto Rican parent goes to see a film because my kids say they want to see it, such is the case with this hyped up version of the Blair Witch Project. "The Descent” is a low-budget horror movie full of tough ladies and creepy thrills. It's a new British horror movie that leaves us exactly where we want to be at a film about six women stranded in a cave several miles underground — It all feels like the start of a bad lesbian drama or a Tampax ad. On a cave-exploring expedition in the American Appalachian Mountains, women get lost in the caverns and run into a race of flesh-eating mutant cave-dwellers; these “crawlers” look like baby Gollum from “Lord of the Rings. I’ve got to admit that “The Descent” is a nerve-jangler. Writer-Neil Marshall keeps sending his spelunkers through dark tunnels, trapping them in rock slides, suspending them over vast chasms and finally flinging those ravenous, mostly male little monsters at them–a series of bad trips that plays like a feminist “Cave of the Living Dead”. Overall its captivating and engulfing but that is coming from somebody who normally does not view horror. Maybe this story line was old, but to me it was fresh. “Finally, a scary movie with teeth, not just blood and entrails”. It's masterfully — savage and gripping piece of work that jangles your nerves. Even though my kids won't get my money to see this, it's worth the price of admission. - Yippie Kai Yai

Live Free or Die Hard

Category: Action/Adventure, Thriller and Sequel Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, language and a brief sexual situation. Run Time: 2hr. 10min.

Starring Bruce Willis, Timothy Olyphant, Maggie Q, Jeffrey Wright, Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Directed by Len Wiseman

Produced by Arnold Rifkin, William Wisher, Michael Fottrell

Written by Mark Bomback (Screenplay, Story By), David Marconi (Story By), John Carlin (Source Material from magazine article: "A Farewell to Arms"), Roderick Thorp (Source Material from certain original characters)

Distributed by 20th Century Fox Distribution

Release Date: June 27th, 2007

Synopsis: On the July 4th holiday, an attack on the vulnerable United States infrastructure begins to shut down the entire nation. The mysterious figure behind the scheme has figured out every modern angle -- but he never figured on an old-school "analog" fly in the "digital" ointment: John McClane. No mask. No cape. No problem.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C

Let's be perfectly clear — this "Die Hard 4.0," the latest in a quartet of action films with gutsy New York cop John McClane, can't hold a Twinkie to the 1988 original. I like most of the Die Hard predecessors. First the original 1988 "Die Hard " remains one of the great modern action flicks, and 1990's "Die Hard 2 " was a worthy sequel: Both were state-of-the-art smackdowns delivered with craft and leavened with wit. On the other hand 1995's "Die Hard: With a Vengeance , was weaker and late to the party (Arrived on the scene 12 years after that film and 19 years after the first) BUT "Live Free or Die Hard" is the worst of these.

Why? It’s not the plot which involves a “Fire sale” by the bad guys. Step 1 creates traffic jams and takes out FAA and Amtrak communications. Step 2 sows panic on Wall Street and blows out cell phones. Step 3 aims for the nuclear armory and the banks. The film's modern-day plot is the world's latest doomsday scenario: Cyber crooks try a computer smackdown of the United States via virtual terrorism. It could happen but this film can’t.

Its just too phony, we see a 5’5 110 lb female Asian martial arts expert who does more than kick everybody’s ass, she gets hit and dragged 50 feet my a SUV moving at 60 mph an is uninjured and more unstoppable then the female terminator. In fact as many close range explosions as Mclain is involved in he barely has a scratch until 5 minutes remain in the film. It's one thing for McClane to run over a fire hydrant at the precise moment for its erupting jet of water to take out a chopper -- . It's another for McClane and Farrell to fly and drive for hours to a massive utilities plant in West Virginia and park outside the exact building where the villains are cooking up their next attack with no lights on the whole east coast. Or for the hero to jump from a truck teetering on a ruined overpass to a pilot less F-15, land on its wing, and slide to safety. Want more Willis computer geek side kick , Farrell talks to a car's remote emergency-assistance operator when all satellite communications are down? "There's tough, and there's stupid," someone says here, and "Live Free or Die Hard" crosses the line too easily for even undemanding action spuds to tolerate. McClane’s instinctive and smarts rival the marvel webslinger, he just stands atop a stalled car and sniffs out conspiracy in the wind The "Die Hard" gimmick was always about an ordinary cop doing extraordinary things, but writers break the series' own rules in this one McClain become closer to being a superhero than Spiderman even if he were stills 32, it was not believable but at 52 it makes it more extreme. If you trust nothing I say download it here and tell me if I am lying. http://www.playahata.com/hataforum/viewtopic.php?t=10320

District B13

Category: Action/Adventure and Art/Foreign Rating: R for strong violence, some drug content and language. Run Time: 1hr. 25min.

Release Date: June 2nd, 2006

Synopsis: Paris, 2013. Damien is a member of an elite police squadron, a special unit highly trained in martial arts and the precise physical skills necessary to navigate the treacherous urban landscape of Paris' future. He is now tasked with the most vital and dangerous mission of his career: a weapon of mass destruction has been concealed by the most powerful gang of the suburbs of District B13, a walled off section of Paris in which the criminals rule themselves. Damien must infiltrate the gang in order to either defuse the bomb or recover it.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B-

Produced and co-written by Luc Besson, France's main Hollywood action junkie (directed "La Femme Nikita" and "The Professional"), "District B13" is set in a drug-ridden, crime-infested ghetto in the year 2010 somewhere in France. Not without it's political overtones considering the fairly recent civil unrest in France this past November, the ghettos of despair, poverty, and rampant crime in "District B13" are walled off from the rest of the plush city as conservative politicians have closed off the projects (or banlieues, hence the film's French title, "Banlieue 13"), and essentially cut them off from most public services. Beyond that the movie's script has more than a few holes but this is not a film based on it's enthralling script. 

Undeniably this film is all about action and stunts as the plot seems to exist only to get to the next, unbelievable and unrealistic but entertaining, action sequence. The story has a cop played by Cyril Raffaelli and an ex-con from the District played by David Belle actually attempting to break back into the district to disarm a "weapon of mass destruction/missile" that has fallen into the hands of District B13's top crime boss Taha (Bibi Naceri). Belle and Raffaelli are real life ex-stunt men who like Jackie Chan, perform their own stunts, according to the press notes, mostly without nets or safety devices. The action is hyper-kinetic, exceptionally choreographed, non-stop, and performed over a French Hip-Hop score. Raffaelli is the film's fight choreographer (he was trained in the circus and also did the stunts in the first "Transporter" film). Each stunt's crash and tumble from the "bad guys" to the "good guys" plays authentically difficult and/or painful. For the non-French speaking viewers, yes this film is subtitled, and surprisingly amusing at times but if you go to see be clear what you're going to get - action and stunts, with more action and stunts on top. 

Disturbia

Category: Thriller and Teen Rating: PG-13 for sequences of terror and violence, and some sensuality. Run Time: 1 hr. 44 min.

Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Carrie-Anne Moss, David Morse, Sarah Roemer, Aaron Yoo

Directed by D.J. Caruso

Produced by Ivan Reitman, Tom Pollock, Jackie Marcus

Written by Carl Ellsworth, Christopher Landon

Distributed by Paramount Pictures

Release Date: April 13th, 2007.

Synopsis: After his father's death, Kale becomes sullen, withdrawn, and troubled -- so much so that he finds himself under a court-ordered sentence of house arrest. His mother, Julie, works night and day to support herself and her son, only to be met with indifference and lethargy. The walls of his house begin to close in on Kale. He becomes a voyeur as his interests turn outside the windows of his suburban home towards those of his neighbors, one of which Kale begins to suspect is a serial killer. But, are his suspicions merely the product of cabin fever and his overactive imagination?

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: C+

Disturbia was cool but I almost could not enjoy the film due to a couple bringing there crying 4-year old baby in to watch the rated R film, thank god management came in and asked her to step out with child. As a full time film aficionado and part time plagiarist I recognize that Disturbia is a rip off of an old Alfred Hitchcock film. The obvious inspiration here is "Rear Window," in which photographer Jimmy Stewart, holed up in his upstairs apartment with a broken leg, spies on his neighbors across a Manhattan apartment courtyard and becomes convinced that one of those co-dwellers (dour Raymond Burr) murdered his wife. But comparisons like this are probably something the makers of Disturbia don't want us to make, since Disturbia, for all its glitz and gadgets, is markedly inferior in everything but teen appeal.

Shia LaBeouf plays the troubled suburban kid under house arrest who suspects his next-door neighbor (David Morse) is a serial killer. Directed by D.J. Caruso ("The Salton Sea") with all the gaudy gadgetry and Hitchcockian models at his disposal, it's a movie full of high-tech shocks, suburban high school comedy (of a sub-John Hughes variety) and violent suspense set-pieces. It's fairly well-made, in a shallow but sometimes scintillating way, and youthful stars LaBeouf, Sarah Roemer and Aaron Yoo are "watchable" and lively.

As with a lot of thrillers, the setup is more interesting than the conclusion — which becomes a fairly standard. This film is geared for the youth of today and brings a reasonable story of what happens in white suburbia when boredom invades a kid going through a tough time.

In the end its enjoyable but what I did not like in the film is the fact that all the Latino’s in the film got played out before it was all over. When the film takes a twist it is for a reason that makes no sense. Without spoiling anything and saying what happened, the twist surprises us only because it is not necessary at the point in which it happens.

Dreamgirls

Category: Drama, Musical/Performing Arts and Adaptation Rating: PG-13 for language, some sexuality and drug content. Run Time: 2 hr 05 min.

Starring: Beyonce Knowles, Jamie Foxx, Eddie Murphy, Danny Glover, Jennifer Hudson

Directed by Bill Condon

Produced by Patricia Whitcher, Laurence Mark

Written by: Bill Condon (screenplay), Tom Eyen (source)

Distributed by Paramount Pictures, DreamWorks SKG

Release Date: December 25th, 2006

Synopsis: Effie White, Deena Jones, and Lorrell Robinson - three friends from Chicago - are a promising singing trio called The Dreamettes. Accompanied by their songwriter C.C. White (Effie's brother), they travel to New York to compete in a talent show at the Apollo Theatre. Although the girls lose this first bid for fame, their talent attracts an ambitious manager by the name of Curtis Taylor, Jr., who uses unscrupulous tactics to move the girls from backup singers of superstar James "Thunder" Early to superstars of their own. Curtis reshapes the group to "crossover" from R & B to the lucrative pop music scene. Lead singer Effie gets replaced by the more attractive Deena and is eventually dropped from the trio. The group evolves into a more sophisticated group, The Dreams, with a lighter sound and chic look. They successfully attract a "whiter" audience and The Dreams rise to international stardom. The money, fame, and adulation, however, doesn't bring them happiness.

TsarBernard (a.k.a. Keith Johnson) Says Overall: A

Reviewing “Dreamgirls” is almost a waste of time. With a stellar cast and kickin’ soundtrack, it would succeed whether critics hated or loved it. People expect it to be good, period. And they’d be right. This is a fun, moving, toe-tapping, hand-clapping, gorgeously produced film.

The movie kicks into high gear from the very first scene. We meet “The Dreamettes”, a group of eager young singers competing in a music contest at a Detroit theatre reminiscent of The Apollo. Though amateurs, they wow the audience. Through the machinations of car dealer and would-be music mogul Curtis Taylor (Jamie Foxx in a none-too-secret Barry Gordy impersonation), the Dreamettes lose the competition, but are “saved” by Taylor. He gets them hired singing backup for James “Thunder” Early, (Eddie Murphy) a James Brown type who’s hot in the R&B world. Everyone’s excited about the opportunity but Effie, who doesn’t trust Taylor. She relents, however, and soon gives in to Taylor’s charms.

You know the rest of the story: Taylor guides the Dreamettes to a successful career with Early, in time changing their style to one less soulful, but more palatable to the sought-after white audience. The Dreamettes ultimately become a group in their own right–the Dreams–and go on to pop glory. Along the way there’s backstage trysts, manipulations, and backstabbing a-plenty, most significantly, the replacement of Effie as lead singer by Deena (Beyonce Knowles). Early deems Effie’s more stereotypically Black figure, features, and voice a hindrance to his goal of crossover success. Instead he backs slim, light-skinned, prettier (at least, to Early) Deena. Early knows Deena’s voice isn’t that great, but as he tells her later, it’s her very blandness that he likes, as it makes her a blank canvass that he can paint as he wants.

What follows is an enjoyable if predictable flick. Overall this is a class act. Musical numbers are mostly good. Production values are high across the board, be it the look of ‘60s era clubs, or the changing clothing and hair styles worn by the actors across the years. The actors are all good. Danny Glover makes the most of a limited supporting role as Early’s first manager. Tony Award winner Anika Noni Rose shines in a smaller role that could have been lost behind Knowles and Hudson. Jamie Foxx is fine as the schemer who’ll sacrifice anyone to further his dreams. Beyonce Knowles, arguably the most promoted star of the film, acquits herself well. Knowles’ true acting ability is still in question, but as the movie has as much singing and posing as real acting, she’s more than capable of handling the demands.

The two standouts are just as you’ve heard. Eddie Murphy takes what could have been a camp repeat of his Saturday Night Live James Brown impersonation and gives it true heart and soul. His Early is funny, roguish, arrogant, and ultimately rather sympathetic. While the role may not be quite the Oscar caliber performance some suggest, it’s still amazing. Hopefully this will open new acting doors for him.

Jennifer Hudson is a treasure. For someone whose main claim to fame was being kicked off “American Idol”, she’s amazing. Her Effie is at times strong, sassy, tough, and vulnerable. Hudson says more with expression and body language than many seasoned actresses with pages of dialogue. An eye roll conveys exasperation and suspicion; a slight twitch of the lips telegraphs sadness and longing; head raised high trumpets defiance and resolve. Oh yeah: the girl can sing too. From R&B songs, to jazzier tunes, to the famous “You’re Gonna Love Me”, she nails the songs perfectly.

There are a few nits I could pick. Some of the musical numbers could be a little longer. The camera’s a little hyper in early scenes in an attempt to further energize the performances. The balancing of singing and dialogue is a little uneven in the first half, which often feels simply like a musical transplanted to film, a string of songs connected by some dialogue. The second half has a better balance, and the film’s better for it. It’s here that the actors’ dramatic abilities get to shine and the movie goes from good great. (This is probably just my preference of more dialogue, and won’t even be noticed by most people).

Perhaps most interesting about “Dreamgirls” is the irony of the casting itself. Will Eddie Murphy’s performance grant him new life as an actor, just as Thunder Early tries to stay relevant in a changing musical world? Will Jennifer Hudson–whose vocal and acting talents surpass Knowles’–enjoy the career she obviously deserves? Or will the more mainstream-appealing Knowles’ looks and charm see her become the mega-star of screen as well as stage, just like Deena?

Only time will tell, of course. Nothing’s certain. What is certain is that “Dreamgirls” will please just about everyone.

Edison Force

Category: N/A Rating: R Run Time: N/A.

Starring: Morgan Freeman, Justin Timberlake, Kevin Spacey, Dylan McDermott, L.L. Cool J

Directed by N/A

Produced by N/A

Written by N/A

Distributed by N/A

Release Date: July 28th, 2006

Synopsis: Former N-Sync star Justin Timberlake makes his acting debut in this gritty crime thriller, playing a young journalist who uncovers massive police corruption in the town of Edison. He joins forces with his cynical mentor (Morgan Freeman, MILLION DOLLAR BABY), as well as an investigator for the district attorney's office (Kevin Spacey, AMERICAN BEAUTY), in order to take on the criminal element in the force, which has until now been implicitly sanctioned. Co-starring are Cary Elwes (SAW), Dylan McDermott (THE PRACTICE), and L.L. Cool J (S.W.A.T.).

Keith Johnson a.k.a. Tsarbernard Says: Overall: C-

A cop flick with Morgan Freeman and Kevin Spacey might make you think “Good movie, lots of action, probably dragged down by Justin Timberlake”, right? Wrong! “Edison Force” somehow manages to squander its major talent on an unimaginative cops-gone-bad plot that offers few surprises and little genuine excitement. And you can’t blame it on the “N Sync” guy.

As the movie opens, officers Rafe Deed (LL Cool J) and Frances Lazerov (McDermott) respond to a robbery/hostage situation. While Deed tries to protect citizens, Lazerov literally walks up on the gunmen to blow them away. Cracking jokes all the while, he “saves” a hostage from the last robber by shooting the guy—through the hostage’s shoulder. The hostage lives, but the scene is a bit much to take, especially since Lazerov doesn’t get so much as a scolding from his boss.

That’s because he’s a member of the FRAT team (First Response and Tactics), a SWAT-like group that’s drastically reduced crime in Edison. Despite FRAT's often brutal actions—perps die all the time during their busts—the public looks the other way in exchange for safe streets.

Next up, Deed and Lazerov rob a couple of crack dealers. Lazerov—just to make sure we get his crazy cop shtick—kills one of the dealers for disrespecting him. The cops then frame the hapless survivor. Deed obviously has problems with the whole affair, but goes along with it because that’s what partners do. It’s pretty clear that this isn’t the first such caper the guys have pulled, and it’s pretty obvious that all of the FRAT team is most likely just as dirty. But their rep as crime fighters has always protected them—until now.

Enter cub reporter Josh Pollack (Timberlake). A talented and passionate writer, Pollack is an indifferent reporter who doesn’t usually do the work to get the facts. But something about this case smells fishy, and Pollack goes after it with a vengeance, despite warnings from his editor (Freeman) a Pulitzer Prize winning reporter who long ago abandoned dangerous investigative reporting to run a weekly circular. Pollock’s dogged investigation uncovers the dark secrets of the FRAT team, which targets him for elimination. His only hope is to convince a conflicted Deed to turn on his fellows. What follows is a lot of cloak-and-dagger stuff, beatings, and shootings, all leading up to an over-the-top finale.

Movies about dirty cops work best when at least some of those cops are shown doing good things: making righteous busts, getting awards from the city, playing with their kids. When those good guys are shown doing very bad things, the shocking paradox carries more emotional punch. We need to halfway like them so that their actions become all the more disturbing.

“Edison Force” gives us none of that conflict, no building up of the cops in order to pull them down. We don’t really like or trust any of these guys. McDermott’s so brutally homicidal he might as well cackle maniacally as he does his deeds. Even the FRAT commander is obviously dirty. We keep being told that the public’s tolerated FRAT because of their successes, but as we learn more about them, that becomes harder to swallow. Even the LAPD didn’t do this much dirt and get away with it.

LL’s Deed’s is supposed to be that one cop who’s truly conflicted. But like the rest of the team, he’s painted so broadly by the cliché brush that attempts at humanizing him—such as his desire to marry his girlfriend (Rosalyn Sanchez) and start a new life—ring hollow. He’s been too complicit for too long for us to care about him either.

Kevin Spacey and Morgan Freeman are likewise wasted in their roles, with little to do other than give advice to Timberlake’s character.

As for Timberlake, I wish I could say one way or the other. He’s certainly not the worst actor around. Indeed, some of his facial expressions and emotions seem pretty darn genuine for a novice. The real problem is that his role as the eager young reporter is too clichéd to be interesting, too dull to showcase any talent he might have. When a movie makes Spacey and Freeman seem dull, what chance does a pop star have to prove his acting chops?

“Edison Force” has a predictable plot and uninspired, one-dimensional characters. The senior actors are obviously intended to orbit around ostensible star Timberlake, but it’s all so clumsily handled that no one comes off as looking very good. There are glimpses of a better movie here and there, but that would have required someone actually write that film. If you want to see a forgettable cop flick, then rent something with DMX in it. At least his stuff is always good for unintentional laughs. If you want something serious, get “The Departed”. But don’t waste your time with “Edison Force”.

Starring Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, Michael Chiklis, Julian McMahon

Directed by Tim Story

Produced by Michael Barnathan, Chris Columbus, Kevin Feige

Written by Don Payne (Screenplay adaptation), Mark Frost (Screenplay adaptation), John Turman (Story), Stan Lee (Source Material from Marvel Comic Book: "Fantastic Four"), Jack Kirby (Source Material from Marvel Comic Book: "Fantastic Four")

Distributed by 20th Century Fox Distribution

Starring Lucas Black, Shad 'Bow Wow' Gregory Moss, Nathalie Kelley, Sung Kang, Brian Tee

Directed by Justin Lin

Produced by Clayton Townsend, Ryan Kavanaugh, Lynwood Spinks

Written by Kario Salem (screenplay), Chris Morgan (screenplay), Alfredo Botello (screenplay), Kario Salem (writer) Alfredo Botello (writer)

Distributed by Universal Pictures Distribution, United International Pictures

Starring Ryan Merriman, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Texas Battle, Gina Holden, Dustin Milligan

Directed by James Wong

Produced by Warren Zide, Craig Perry, James Wong

Written by Glen Morgan, James Wong

Distributed by New Line Cinema

Release Date: February 10th, 2006

1408	Category: Science Fiction/Fantasy, Suspense/Horror, Thriller and Adaptation Rating: PG-13 for thematic material including disturbing sequences of violence and terror, frightening images and language. Run Time: 1hr. 34 min.

Starring John Cusack, Samuel L. Jackson, Mary McCormack, Jasmine Jessica Anthony, Christopher Carey

Directed by Mikael Hafstrom

Produced by Jake Myers, Bob Weinstein, Harvey Weinstein

Written by Matthew Greenberg (Screenplay adaptation), Scott Alexander (Screenplay rewrite), Larry Karaszewski (Screenplay rewrite), Stephen King (Source Material from short story: "1408")

Distributed by Dimension Films, MGM Distribution Company

Release Date: June 22nd, 2007

Synopsis: Renowned horror novelist Mike Enslin believes only in what he can see with his own two eyes. But after a string of best-sellers discrediting paranormal events in the most infamous haunted houses and graveyards around the world, he has no real proof of life--afterlife. But Enslin's phantom-free run of long and lonely nights is about to change forever when he checks into suite 1408 of the notorious Dolphin Hotel for his latest project, "Ten Nights in Haunted Hotel Rooms." Defying the warnings of the hotel manager, the author is the first person in years to stay in the reputedly haunted room. Another best-seller may be imminent, but first he must go from skeptic to true believer--and ultimately survive the night.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: B

Mike Enslin does not believe in ghosts so what’s the big deal in visiting one more haunted spot before his book comes out. Off to the Hotel Dolphin. As a final chapter to his new book, "Haunted Hotel Rooms," Enslin (Cusack) makes it his mission to stay in room 1408 of the Dolphin, a room the proprietor (Samuel L. Jackson) does not want to open to the public. His midtown Manhattan establishment has seen too many dead bodies pulled out of 1408. Jackson plays a distinguished gentleman with a two-tone goatee, its great to see him playing somebody refined and not another loud mouth. He smoothly insists Michael find a different room, but Michael refuses. Michael is smug and arrogant and this is driven home several times but none more so than when he needs his air conditioning fixed.

An African-American handy man comes to the room to fix the air conditioner but won't come inside room 1408, instead he instructs Enslin how to do it, its a nice 2 minute feature that hits home with non-White audiences. Why, because there are so many scenes in horror movies that African-Americans would avoid but White characters on screen do not, overall its an extension of Samuel L Jackson's sentiment in trying to warn Enslin that he might not believe in ghost but some things are better off left alone.

The room oozes evil. Nonsense, Enslin says. After Olin tells him that no one ever lasts more than an hour in 1408, he checks in all the same, where the bathroom faucet gushes scalding water, the window conspires to crush his hand, and the clock radio plays the Carpenters' "We've Only Just Begun" whenever it pleases. Eventually, the room ropes Michael's wife (Mary McCormack ) and his dead daughter (Jasmine Jessica Anthony ) into the mayhem, muttering observations into his tape recorder. "Show me the rivers of blood!" Enslin taunts, referencing "The Shining." It's hard to do a Stephen King adaptation and not have one of the characters reference Stephen King. The film is simple which often makes for success but whether or not audiences will be happy with an incomplete ending after HBO' s Soprano's caused so much fuss is debatable.

Fracture

Category: Drama, Thriller and Crime/Gangster Rating: R for language and some violent content. Run Time: 1 hr. 52 min.

Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Ryan Gosling, David Strathairn, Rosamund Pike, Embeth Davidtz

Directed by Gregory Hoblit

Produced by Liz Glotzer (II), Howard "Hawk" Koch Jr, Toby Emmerich

Written by Glenn Gers, Daniel Pyne, Tom Pabst Writer, E. Max Frye Writer

Distributed by New Line Cinema

Release Date: April 20th, 2007.

Synopsis: When Ted Crawford discovers that his beautiful younger wife, Jennifer, is having an affair, he plans her murder--the perfect murder. Among the cops arriving at the crime scene is hostage negotiator Detective Rob Nunally, the only officer permitted entry to the house. Surprisingly, Crawford readily admits to shooting his wife, but Nunally is too stunned to pay close attention when he recognizes his lover, whose true identity he never knew, lying on the floor in a pool of blood. Although Jennifer was shot at point blank range, Nunally realizes she isn't dead. Crawford is immediately arrested and arraigned after confessing--a seemingly slam-dunk case for hot shot assistant district attorney Willy Beachum, who has one foot out the door of the District Attorney's office on his way to a lucrative job in high-stakes corporate law. But nothing is as simple as it seems, including this case. Will the lure of power and a love affair with a sexy, ambitious attorney at his new firm overpower Willy's fierce drive to win, or worse, quash his code of ethics? In a tense duel of intellect and strategy, Crawford and Willy both learn that a "fracture" can be found in every ostensibly perfect façade.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B-

Hopkins, is really doing a gloss on Hannibal Lecter's mannerisms, invites us to relish that soft-voiced Welsh burr — he spreads the intellectual superiority like butter. Gosling plays Willy Beachum, who's about to leave the DA's office for a poshly cutthroat corporate job and he has sex with the boss to make sure he has a little le way on this job. Speaking in a light drawl he's upwardly mobile ''white trash,'' with a good heart and he is ethical. The movie is really all about the questions, those pesky little unsolved mysteries that spank each scene along because they're keys to the personalities on display.

Hopkins' Ted Crawford, who is some sort of fabled aeronautics engineer, knows that his lovely younger wife (Embeth Davidtz) is having an affair. When she arrives home — they live in one of those sleek real-estate-porn L.A. ranch-house palaces — he pulls out a handgun and shoots her in the head. The dastardly deed has, of course, been perfectly set up. When the cops arrive, Crawford's wife is still clinging to life, and they send in a hostage negotiator (Billy Burke), who turns out to be her lover from the opening scene. Crawford goads him into a scuffle (which won't exactly make the cop look objective later on), and when the house is searched, the fatal weapon has disappeared.

What makes this fun is that Hopkins character starts to act as his own attorney, and Willy, for a while, wants no part of the case; he wants to be out the door to his new job at a deluxe WASP firm, the kind that earns its lucre by defending the worst corporate predators. But Crawford fastens on to him, taunting him, looking for his ''fracture'' point. 

Freedom Writers

Category: Drama, Adaptation, Biopic and Teen Rating: PG-13 for violent content, some thematic material and language. Run Time: 2hr. 05 min.

Starring Hilary Swank, Imelda Staunton, Patrick Dempsey, Imelda Staunton, Scott Glenn

Directed by Richard LaGravenese

Produced by Hilary Swank, Tracey Durning, Nan Morales

Written by Richard LaGravenese, Erin Gruwell (Source Material from book: "The Freedom Writers Diary: How a Teacher and 150 Teens Used Writing to Change Themselves and the World Around Them")

Distributed by Buena Vista Pictures Distribution

Release Date: January 5th, 2007

Synopsis: Fresh–faced, idealistic twenty–three–year–old Erin Gruwell is ready to take on the world as she steps inside Wilson High School for her first day of teaching. Her class, a diverse group of racially charged teenagers from different walks of life--African Americans, Latinos, Asians, juvenile delinquents, gang members, and underprivileged students from poor neighborhoods--hope for nothing more than to make it through the day. On the surface, the only thing they share is their hatred for each other and the understanding that they are simply being warehoused in the educational system until they are old enough to disappear. Despite her students’ obstinate refusal to participate during class, Erin tries various means to engage them on a daily basis. But then ghetto reality steps in to focus the picture. A racially motivated gang shooting witnessed by a Latina gang member in Erin’s class, and an ugly racial cartoon that Erin intercepts during class, become the most unwittingly dynamic teaching aids. They spark a transformation in the classroom, compel them to listen and force her to take off her idealistic blinders and take in the kids’ survival stories of their undeclared war on the streets. Erin begins to connect with them. She brings in music from the ‘Hood, and literature from another kind of ghetto, The Diary of Anne Frank, and with these simple tools she opens her students’ eyes to the experiences of those suffering intolerance throughout the world and the struggles of those outside their own communities. Knowing that every one of her students has a story to tell, Erin encourages them to keep a daily journal of their thoughts and experiences. After sharing their stories with one another, the students see their shared experience for the first time and open up to the idea that there are possibilities in life outside of making it to the age of eighteen.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B

“Freedom Writers” is about people transcending environmental limitations. Personally I never get tired of these inspirational stories especially those based on a true story. This story isn’t only about an amazingly dedicated young Jewish teacher who took on two extra jobs to buy supplies for her students and do special things for them because a $27,000 salary just can’t do much. It’s also, emphatically, about people uniting. By the time Erin Grunwell steps into her classroom, a scant two years after the L.A. rebellions, the climate inside is at once frosty and scorching. (Ironically its rough again on the west coast as this film takes to theatres.)

Ghost Rider

Category: Action/Adventure, Suspense/Horror, Thriller and Adaptation Rating: PG-13 for horror violence and disturbing images. Run Time: 1hr. 50min.

Starring Nicolas Cage, Wes Bentley, Eva Mendes, Matthew Long, Peter Fonda

Directed by Mark Steven Johnson

Produced by David S. Goyer, Stan Lee, Gary Foster

Written by Mark Steven Johnson, Shane Salerno, David S. Goyer, Jonathan Hensleigh

Distributed by Sony Pictures Releasing

Release Date: February 16th, 2007

Synopsis: A motorcycle stuntman, Johnny Blaze, makes a pact with a dark force, selling his soul to save his girlfriend. When the bargain goes sour and the girl isn't saved, Blaze is transformed, gaining raging superpowers. Based on the Marvel comic series.

GumbyDammitt Says: Overall: D

If anything, Marvel Comics’ latest character to make the big screen, Ghost Rider is true testimony to the necessity of a strong villain in a big budget, popcorn flick. Ghost Rider’s problem is that it doesn’t have one. Well, let me rephrase that, because Ghost Rider has a handful of issues dragging it down like a gymnasium full of ten thousand pound cartoon weights (you know, the trapezoid shaped ones). Let’s list them, shall we? For starters, a brief word about the director. Mark Steven Johnson is a dangerous hack. I wasn’t willing to say that before I saw Ghost Rider, but seeing what he did to one of the COOLEST characters in all of comicdom tells me that what he did to Daredevil was no fluke (and that maybe it wasn’t ALL Ben Affleck’s fault). Don’t get me wrong, Ghost Rider himself was mostly cool and the special effects for the character were great. His transformation was incredible and it looked painful enough, as I imagine the flesh burning off of one’s skull and body would be. I just think that some of the actions, like the excessive, deliberate pointing, were a little over the top. I thought Ghost Rider’s voice could have been a little cooler too. There just seemed to be something missing there. Nick Cage was pretty good overall, but he put a little too much of his “Elvis-Love” into the part. That being said, the mediocrity of the film certainly wasn’t his fault. The script was mostly bad. As a result there was some pretty sucky dialogue in areas. When you add things like bad writing and weak villains, well that’s worse than any bad chemical no-no you can commit in a university laboratory.

It takes a movie with promise and potential and reduces it to a hot, campy mess. Let’s get back to those villains for a moment. Blackheart, son of Mephisto is the main baddie, come to collect a century and a half old contract for enough souls to allow him reign over the human earth. He enlists the services of The Fallen, four angels cast out of heaven by St. Michael himself, to achieve his ends. The Fallen all have the ability to mask themselves in the element of their choosing, air, earth, water, etc. They sound bad-ass enough, but they mainly just skulk around looking menacing and doing whatever Blackheart tells them in a cheap henchman kind of way. This brings me back to my original point. The villains were so weak and ineffective that the viewer never feels at any point like the world is in any real danger. You sort of feel like, ‘Eh, ghost Rider can handle these bums’ and that’s that. In fact, he dispatches each of them, in turn with relative ease. They don’t seem scary at all, aside from their demonic faces which show every now and again and mainly consist of demon teeth jutting out of gnarled skin and whatnot and they don’t match Ghost Rider’s cool-factor on any level. The fights basically consisted of, ‘ha, ha, ha, you can’t get me cause you can’t figure out my powerrrr.’ And the Ghost Rider gets them and they have this look like, ‘I can’t believe you figured out my powerrrr!’ It’s weak. Did I mention Eva Mendes yet? I read a quote where she says that she put on about fifteen pounds for this movie because in the comic book, Roxanne is kinda' curvy. Well, I ain’t mad at her at all, cause I’ve never been an Eva Mendes guy, but she looks GOOD with that fifteen on her. She should definitely hold on to that. Now, back to this Mark Steven Johnson character. The dude is a hack and I believe a bit of a visual plagiarist. Toward the end when Blackheart calls on the souls of the cursed town, and they all begin to rush to him, it is almost EXACTLY the same scene as the end of the first Blade flick where Deacon Frost takes the souls of the entire vampire council in order to become The Blood God. Almost freaking verbatim. He’s that bad. I think he might secretly work for DC Comics. I just wish Ghost Rider could use ‘the penance stare’ on him.

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Keith Johnson a.k.a. Tsarbernard Says: Overall: C

Broadly speaking, there are two categories of comic-based movies: serious films which use comic elements as a backdrop to explore the human condition, and films that try to capture the fun and escapism of comics with a little human interest thrown in for good measure. “Ghost Rider” belongs to the second group. When done well, this can give us gems like “Hellboy”. It can also give us junk like “Catwoman” if done badly. “Ghost Rider” isn’t that bad, but it's close.

Sam Elliott starts out by telling the legend of the demonic Riders in thickly accented Cowboy. Then we meet Johnny Blaze (Matt Long), motorcycle stuntman extraordinaire. Blaze is targeted by Satan (Peter Fonda, hamming it up worse than Mike Myers’ Dr. Evil) to be his next Rider. He’s conned into selling his soul , which unfortunately costs him his father and his one true love, Roxanne (Raquel Alessi).

We fast forward several years to a much older Blaze (Nicholas Cage), now a famous daredevil. Despite all his manic fans, Blaze himself is curiously detached. He finds little joy in a life that consists of increasingly dangerous stunts, many of which end in spectacular crashes that should be fatal. Worse, Blaze isn’t even sure of the real cost of the deal, as Satan’s pretty much left him alone all these years. But he knows the day is coming…

The Devil finally returns to claim his due, transforming Blaze by binding his soul to that of the Rider, a demon of flame and anger. The new “Ghost Rider” is needed to stop the demon Blackheart (Wes Bentley). Blackheart seeks a long-lost contract signed by hundreds of evil people from a forgotten town. Possessing their souls will give him the power to challenge Satan himself.

Things are complicated by the appearance of Roxanne (Eva Mendes), now a TV reporter. Despite Johnny’s abandoning her years before, she still loves him. But will their love survive Johnny’s curse?

If my plodding description sounds boring, it’s intentional. For such a simplistic plot the movie is a long time in the telling. When the action does appear, it’s uneven. The CGI seesaws from okay to fake-looking, the fights from standard to silly. A big problem is that the Rider appears so late in the film he’s not really a major presence. The lame back story takes up time better spent on crafting more action and fun.

Peter Fonda no doubt had fun overacting as Satan, but he’s not quite serious enough to be scary, nor camp enough to be funny. Bentley as Blackheart is a walking cliché: too much time spent posing in his expensive leather coat, too many supposedly ominous lines delivered in laughable movie "villainspeak". He’s not scary--unless boredom can kill you.

Really tiresome are the effects used on the demons. To remind us that these guys are *really* bad, the director transforms their faces to show skeletal masks underneath, or modulates their voices to sound deep and harsh. The effect? It highlights director Mark Steven Johnson’s tendency to overuse CGI. (This is, after all, the guy who brought us “Elektra”).

Eva Mendes’ sole purpose seems to be to make Cage look more sad-eyed, and to show cleavage. Her performance is stiff, she has no chemistry with Cage, and she seems out of place. “Ghost Rider” is a camp movie that needs a camp actress, someone who can bring something to the party other than breasts.

Sam Elliott is wasted in his role as the grizzled cowboy cemetery caretaker who sorta' mentors Blaze. Elliott could have been the backbone of this film, a unifying thread to tie together the disparate pieces of the past, present, future. Elliott could have lent steadying gravitas to the camp moments, and a camp seriousness to the funny moments. The potential is right there, but never realized, which is a shame.

Oddly, the best thing going is Nicholas Cage himself. Cage at first seems completely wrong for the role: his Texas accent sucks, and he looks nothing like young Blaze. “Heroic” is not a word that comes to mind when Cage’s droopy mug is on the screen. But strangely, that’s why he works. Cage as an actor has many facets: eccentric, world-worn, outright weird, sympathetic, funny, and serious. He brings each facet to bear to tame the wildly uneven script. Only Cage’s understated comic talent could save silly devices like Blaze’s need to listen to the Carpenters before a jump. Only Cage’s craggy face and sad droopy eyes could even halfway make you care about the loss of the paper-thin romance between Johnny and Roxanne. And only Cage could even attempt to look heroic riding off on a fiery chopper to save the day or saying corny lines like “I’m gonna use this demon to do good”. He at once prevents the film from being a disaster, and reminds us that it could have been much more.

For some reason I didn’t find “Ghost Rider” to be a horrible movie, merely a terribly flawed one. In the hands of a master director like Guillermo del Toro (“Hellboy”), it could have been a camp classic. Instead it’ll join the growing heap of mediocre and quickly forgotten comic-based films being put out each year.

Glory Road

Category: Sports Rating: PG for racial issues including violence and epithets, and mild language. Run Time: 1 hr. 46 min.

Starring: Josh Lucas, Derek Luke, Austin Nichols, Evan Jones, Emily Deschanel

Directed by James Gartner

Produced by Chad Oman, Mike Stenson, Andrew Given

Written by Bettina Gilois, Gregory Allen Howard, Marc Hyman, Christopher Cleveland

Distributed by Buena Vista Pictures Distribution

Release Date: January 13th, 2006

Synopsis: The inspiring true story of the underdog Texas Western basketball team, with history's first all African American starting lineup of players, who took the country by storm, surprisingly winning the 1966 NCAA tournament title. Josh Lucas stars as Hall of Famer Don Haskins, the passionately dedicated college basketball coach that changed the history of basketball with his team's victory in this time of innocence.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: A

Glory Road is one of the best historical sports biopics of all time. It's a cheering and rooting sort of film that pulls the emotions like a basketball version of Remember The Titans. A rare film in that it's actually sad but proud at the same time. Many critics may be surprised that Walt Disney Pictures and action producer Jerry Bruckheimer could put out a product that focuses on a story instead of a heroic messiah figure and doesn't play to loosely with the facts.

Since I brought it up lets clarify some factual points. Texas Western unlike its Southern and Southwestern rivals, had been recruiting black players before Coach Don Haskins (Jon Lucas) arrived. Texas Western was renamed the University of Texas at El Paso in 1967. That's when all of this unfolds and if you are like me, you may not have been born yet, but the soundtrack will place you back in the 60's and make you feel like a player on that team. I am embarrassed to admit as a sports fan that only after seeing this film did I care to look further into this story, but I am glad I did.

Film Critic and SeeingBlack.com Editor Esther Iverem admits "Glory Road' Tells it Like it was", stating "as this narrative reminds us, it was a game, some say the most important college game ever, that shattered racist notions about the abilities of Black basketball players to compete against Whites at the NCAA level and in the pro ranks. After the game, colleges in the South, who either had no Black players at all or restricted their playing time, ended their apartheid."

In Texas and the larger south at that time, college basketball teams had been integrated, but there was an "informal rule" followed by all, which was that you never played more than one black player at home, two on the road or three if you were behind. That all went out the window when "In 1966, coach Don Haskins made history when he decided to start an all-black lineup in the NCAA Division I, basketball championship game. And his Texas Western College Miners team defeated the all-white University of Kentucky Wildcats team, coached by a racist sports legend in Adolph Rupp (Jon Voight).

The only thing this film lacks is an analysis of Coach Haskins motivation for doing what he did. This ushered in modern college and professional basketball but more importantly it changed the game, flipping it on its head. NBA star coach Pat Riley, who starred on that losing Kentucky team, in an interview during the end credits say "they changed it all". I absolutely loved this film because it's heroic, serious and has unintentional humor. Considering that the NBA is predominantly black now, more so than any other sport, the context of the racial tension and civil rights movement of the '60s and how it influenced everything is amazing. At one point a white player says something to the effect, that it's no big deal to a have some equality and play a black player or two, it not like there will ever be more black players than white players. Today the NBA is over 80% Black. - Nuff Said.

Giuliani Time

Category: Documentary Rating: N/A Run Time: 1 hr. 58 min.

Starring: N/A

Directed by Kevin Keating

Produced by N/A

Written by David Carbonara

Distributed by Cinema Libre Studio

Release Date: May 12th, 2006

Synopsis: Ever since the events of 9/11, Rudy Giuliani has become a name recognized the world over. His role as mayor during that catastrophe elevated him to the status of an international hero. But what defined "America's Mayor" before he was catapulted to a kind of secular sainthood? During the only years Giuliani held office as an elected official, what was his record like? During the peak years of the late 1990s, the "new" New York City, awash in tourism and prosperity from the then-booming dotcom economy, was praised as the model of a new urban paradigm. While Giuliani's local popularity was, at times, extremely low in New York City, it was virtually unquestioned outside of local media that Rudy Giuliani was responsible for a "turnaround" in New York City from a darkly chaotic city to a gleaming, moneyed, safe metropolis. This perception was largely due to high-profile policies like "quality of life" policing, "workfare" and welfare reform as well as a compliant press. Many of these policies were formulated by conservative think tanks like the Manhattan Institute and were watched and emulated by cities all over the world, from London to Mexico City. But evidence from federal, state and local investigations, along with first-person accounts from communities throughout the city, told a different kind of story. According to many, Giuliani's brand of politics and politicking racially polarized and divided the city and, during what was economically the best of times, did nothing to alleviate poverty and even exacerbated the disparity between rich and poor. "Giuliani Time" is the story of the impact this former Reagan administration official and high profile federal prosecutor had on what he called the "Capital of the World." It is a wild ride of political ambition and amnesia, alternate realities, wars of perception and dramatic, even cataclysmic, events.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: B+

Giuliani Time is a blistering and informative documentary about Rudy Giuliani. Though not as cutting edge as or opinionated as a film like Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 911, it should raise just as many questions about the former NY Mayor as Moore did about President Bush. Even pro-Giuliani New Yorkers will be troubled by the viewing of this film. Although it is not one sided, it’s mostly all bad, and all true. The film tracks an early Rudy Giuliani who built his career as a “good guy” menacing and collaring white collar corporate criminals. Ironically my first recollection of Giuliani, and maybe the first for others in the Hip-hop generation, was of Rudy Giuliani getting his name after being assigned the task of bringing down Harlem Drug lord Nicky Barnes. Barnes became so bodacious with his criminality that he allowed a feature story to be run on him in the New York Times Magazine back in 1977 dubbing him “Mr. Untouchable”, which prompted then President Jimmy Carter to stop his Sunday White House breakfast after reading it and call NY and have a forceful chat with Giuliani who was then the D.A. to say, how embarrassing Barnes “fronting was” (my words) and how this man must be stopped. Rudy brought down Barnes in impressive fashion, though Barnes was dangerous and no small timer. He ruled New York City not just Harlem, in fact his trial was the first anonymous jury in America.

More disturbingly the film shows how shortly after the Reagan – Bush. Sr administration used Giuliani’s ego and ambition against him, they couldn’t even pronounce his last name but they had him doing more than a little of their bidding. One of the more notable errands was Giuliani being sent to Haiti during a high point in the violation of Haitian human rights by Haiti’s dictatorial regime. Giuliani returned to the U.S. saying “everything is cool” over there and that Haitians were not threatened by the crazy killer dictator called “Baby Doc”, and how Haitian immigrants were only arriving in the U.S. to cash in on the economic freedom of America. Giuliani was so nefarious, he even lied and said one human rights expert agreed with him over the Amnesty International report. He attributed false statements to the expert to make Reagan look good, but this was just the beginning of his racial divisiveness.

The film takes a look at how Giuliani went from the most hated man in New York City on September 10th [2001] to a name recognized the world over. His role as mayor during 911 elevated him to the status of an international hero. We are painfully reminded of how Giuliani’s brand of politics and politicking racially polarized and divided the city and, during what was economically the best of times, yet did nothing to alleviate poverty and even exacerbated the disparity between rich and poor. This film examines a social concept pushed by the Manhattan Institute and used by Giuliani called the “Broken Windows Theory” which is a nonsensical hypothesis that says small unrelated annoyance “crimes” (misdemeanors like open beer cans, jumping turn styles to train and public urination) lead to murder, rape, robbery, corporate crime etc. Although every social and behavioral scientist “says it aint so” the Manhattan Institute and Giuliani say it is and twist statistics to make it seem that way. The Manhattan Institute’s role can’t be ignored as the film shows how this think tank actually created Giuliani’s candidacy, ideas, and policies. It should be known that the Right-wing think tank called the Manhattan Institute, was founded by CIA director William Casey and has a legacy in eugenics. In addition the Institute has many direct links to the Bush family, Enron and the war in Iraq - need I say more?

Another reason this film is important is because Giuliani may try to run for President. Just last week he was in Iowa and said “I am interested in public service again, My effort this year will be to help Republicans get elected and, quite honestly, a part of it also is saying to myself, ‘Does it look like I have a chance in 2008?’” Personally I wouldn’t worry about that because Giuliani’s documented social views would make it almost impossible for him to become the Republican nominee. The evangelical base of the GOP won’t allow a pro-choice, pro-gay rights, anti-gun Italian New Yorker. In fact some might try to kill him once the Presidential scrutiny comes down and they discover he pushed the Harvey Milk High School for gay teenagers. American Conservative Union Chairman David Keene says “his poll standing is that of a celebrity, not a political leader,” However the egomaniacal personality shown in the film might try to run despite reality, besides Giuliani will simply distance himself from his pro-gay and pro-choice past. Never forget this man dumped his wife of many years on TV as if it was a episode of Jerry Springer turned Donald Trump’s Apprentice with a, “you are fired” move. In my humble opinion it was the most distastesteful domestic move of any political personality because of its classless and heartless intent. Some say God already punished him with that bad ass, son of his. - Nuff Said.

Gridiron Gang

Category: Drama, Adaptation, Sports and Teen Rating: PG-13 for some startling scenes of violence, mature thematic material and language. Run Time: 2 hr. 00 min.

Synopsis: The uplifting story of detention camp probation officer Sean Porter, who creates a high-school-level football team from a ragtag group of dangerous teenage inmates as a means to teach them self-respect and social responsibility. He is joined in this experiment by co-worker, Malcolm Moore. But Porter must first overcome almost universal resistance from the powers that be -- his skeptical bosses and coaches at rival high schools who don't want their players mixing it up with convicted criminals on the football field.

Ooh Papi Says: Overall: B+

The original Sean Porter was a White man, unlike "The Rock", and there are other fictionalized events that happen in this film but we don’t know exactly what they are. And as long as we keep in mind that this is only based on a true story and not all true it’s ok. We learn about Sean Porter, a probation officer who cobbles together a scrappy football team from a bunch of juveniles back in 1993. It was probably necessary to cast rapper, Xzibit, and The Rock to fill the lead roles thereby getting African Americans, the Hip-hop crowd, and Whites to come see this touching film. Gridiron Gang doesn’t come off as a White man saves urban youth film-even though it is true in this case. Good filmmaking and complex characters cut away at the contempt familiarity breeds for based-on-a-true-story tales. Audiences expecting another “Remember the Titans” or “Glory Road” will find this football story more challenging, but also more rewarding. With a tone that combines “Friday Night Lights” and “Lean On me,” the movie succeeds as a crowd-pleaser without glossing over the complicated roots of gang violence. It has the right name although its very subtle, the gang Vs team theme is made to appear further away than it really is. Gridiron Gang is set at Camp Kilpatrick, a Los Angeles County juvenile detention compound whose delinquents are merely waiting to rejoin their street gangs or resume their lives of petty crime. That aspect of it makes Gridiron Gang,” nearly as bleak as it is uplifting. We get the reminders that these kids made mistakes and are not angels but that they are human and have a life ahead of them if we can get to them. It is not totally story book as we witness The Kilpatrick Mustangs have a pretty good maiden season and we are read their later life successes in the end but we also are given the failures, WHICH KEEPS THE FILM REALISTIC. More riveting is the up close look at the gang-bangers, who we see are like terrorists. Indeed, contrary to most uplifting sports dramas, street life in this movie is meaner and scarier than any of the football plays and it’s so scary that when the racism rears its head in the film audiences downplays the racist (football player) and simply roots for the kid overcoming his challenges. We know that "The Rock" and Xzibit are successful due to one particular event but we see many little things from young intense actors that are edging us along the way from start to end. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson does his best acting job thus far in his career and that completes a good film, that is suitable for all.

The Good Shepherd

Category: Drama, Romance and Thriller Rating: R for some violence, sexuality and language. Run Time: 2 hr. 40 min.

Synopsis: Edward Wilson understands the value of secrecy--discretion and commitment to honor have been embedded in him since childhood. As an eager, optimistic student at Yale, he is recruited to join the secret society Skull and Bones, a brotherhood and breeding ground for future world leaders. Wilson's acute mind, spotless reputation and sincere belief in American values render him a prime candidate for a career in intelligence, and he is soon recruited to work for the OSS (the precursor to the CIA) during WWII. As one of the covert founders of the CIA, working in the heart of an organization where duplicity is required and nothing is taken at face value, Edward's idealism is steadily eroded by a growing suspicious nature, reflective of a world settling into the long paranoia of the Cold War. As his methods are adopted as standard operating procedure, Wilson develops into one of the Agency's veteran operatives, all the while combating his KGB counterpart. However, his steely dedication to his country comes at an ever-increasing price. Not even his wife Clover or his beloved son can divert Wilson from a path that will force him to sacrifice everything in pursuit of this job.

Bruce Banter Says: Overall: A

Matt Damon is a more realistic type of international agent in this film than he ever was in The Bourne Supremacy. Damon plays Edward Wilson a Yale graduate whose life parallels the American intelligence agency's, moving from the covert, creepy elite Skull & Bones society to the OSS/CIA. He knocks up Angelina Jolie on a whim and is forced to marry her because she is the sister of his 322 brother. His dedication to Skull and Bones (322) is established early on in the film as he wants to quit 322 as members pee on him while he is mud wrestling another pledge, while naked. Marrying Jolie out of duty while, in love with a hearing impaired a.k.a. deaf girl, is just the start of his dedicated life, but love of family and friends takes a backdrop throughout his whole life to what he sees as patriotic dedication. He ignores Jolie as she plays a fast aging, submissive, neglected '1950s wife who turns to alcohol because she is married to a ghost.

The Good Shepher" is based very loosely on the life of the former long-serving CIA chief James Angleton. Which makes me wonder which excerpts are truer than fiction? Damon is always unsure about whether or not he has pledged his allegiance to America or one of the shadow governments that pull the strings of America’s president and other people in high places. Although never quite sure whether he's serving the government or the men who control it, he continues on.

The Good Shepherd is Robert De Niro's epic docudrama about the birth of the CIA—there isn't a car chase or doomsday device to be found, yet it does not falter in its realism and at three plus hours we get nearly 40 years of history in a novel format. This film is ambitious and timely. The foundation rest on the idea that Fidel Castro was able to win the legendary battle known as “The Bay of Pigs” (1961 — the CIA's botched illegal attempt to get rid of Fidel Castro) due to intelligence relayed to him from an American very close to Damon or one of his click of CIA/ Skull and Bones Brothers. We never know who it is until the end but there are clues dropped that keep us guessing. Ironically everything comes 360 degrees in the end but not before events shake everybody upside down and inside out.

De Niro has played in countless mafia movies and now he's made a Mafia movie about the CIA. Done very well despite a convoluted plot that jumps back and forth from one decade to another in the end De Niro has made one of the best pictures of the year and is a must see for those interested in politics.

Even those astute in politics may miss the interjection of the evolution of Office of Strategic Services (OSS), which eventually morphs into the CIA. A fictionalized version of OSS founder "Wild Bill" Donovan (played by De Niro himself). De Niro leaves Mafia type dialogue as fingerprints in a scene or two. In one scene. Joe Pesci is used to highlight the film's theme of exclusion for all but the chosen few WASP from privileged backgrounds. "The Italians have their families. The Irish have their homeland. The Jews have their traditions. Even the [n-word] have their music," he tells Matt Damon. "What do you have? Damon responds The United States of America. The rest of you (ethnic groups) are just visiting."

Grindhouse

Category: Action/Adventure, Suspense/Horror and Thriller Rating: R for strong graphic bloody violence and gore, pervasive language, some sexuality, nudity and drug use. Run Time: 3 hr. 12 min.

Starring: Danny Trejo, Rose McGowan, Freddy Rodriguez, Josh Brolin, Marley Shelton

Directed by Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez

Produced by Bob Weinstein, Harvey Weinstein, Sandra Condito

Written by Quentin Tarantino ("Death Proof"), Robert Rodriguez ("Planet Terror")

Distributed by Dimension Films

Release Date: February 23rd, 2007

Sofia Quintero Says: Overall: N/A

This review of Grindhouse is from one our Advisory Board Members, Sofia Quintero. On Wednesday, I was in Manhattan with time to kill between a meeting and a class so I decided to treat myself to a flick at Union Square. I had just enough time – three hours and eleven minutes to be exact – to catch the double feature Grindhouse. For those of you who don't know, Grindhouse is actually two movies and several faux trailers that harken back to the so-bad-their-good shock cinema of the 70s. The first movie Planet Terror is a zombie parody written and directed by Robert Rodriguez while the second joint Death Proof is a combined homage to the race car and girl revenge flicks written and directed by Quentin Tarantino.

There's a consensus among film critics about Grindhouse that I join: Rodriguez got it right, offering the same mindless entertainment as the films he attempts to emulate while, once again, Tarantino wallowed in a self-indulgence that turned a good concept into a mediocre film. Once upon time, critics heaped deserved praise on Tarantino for his way with dialogue. Characters in his films would wax on for minutes about topics that were irrelevant to the story, but audiences (myself included) ate it up because the tangents were so damned entertaining. The praise has gone to Quentin's head because Death Proof is filled with scenes where female characters go on endlessly about nothing of importance ( to anyone else except Quentin, that is) and, unlike their male counterparts in Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction, they bore you to tears.

What has yet to penetrate Tarantino's consciousness – and needs to with the same quickness in which Don Imus was put in check – is that his public love affair with the n-word ain't cute.

It seems that he has learned only one lesson only to evade another. Although Quentin has repeated the mistake of casting himself in his own movie, at least the n-word isn't sailing out of his character's mouth in Death Proof as it did in Pulp Fiction. The problem, however, is it flies consistently out of the mouth of the stuntwoman Kim (played by actress Tracie Thoms.) In fact, Kim is only one of two African American characters in Death Proof. The other character is a local radio DJ named Jungle Julia – I kid you not – played by Sydney Tamiia Poitier(yes, daughter and namesake of Sidney Poitier, the accomplished actor renowned for the dignity he displays both on and off screen.) Both Kim and Jungle Julia fall neatly into the stereotype of the quick-lipped sista who cusses and disses people without provocation, her closest friends being her favorite targets of her inexplicable aggression.

Now maybe, just maybe, these stereotypes are part of Tarantino's weak effort to emulate the films of this time. After all, the B-movies of the 70s weren't exactly bastions of character development and logical plots. The heyday of grindhouse theatre coincided with the decade of Blaxploitation, a genre that many of us celebrate to this day even as we chastise its equally stereotypical yet less politically inspired successor the hood flick. It's a hard sell, but I'm willing to entertain it.

I'm not willing to entertain, however, Tarantino's attempts to at once relish the n-word while dodging criticism for its excessive use by having it spew from the mouth of an African American actress. As an author of hip hop noir for adult audiences, I have experienced the challenge of writing around a word that is used so prevalently in the environment that you are trying to realistically depict. But Thoms' Kim uses the n-word so damned much, it's ridiculously unrealistic and undeniably purposeful. And unfunny. And offensive. Anyone and everyone's a n***a to Kim regardless of their gender or race and even her feelings toward them at the moment. Amused or angry, she tosses out the word when she can readily use something else -- or nothing at all -- that would be no less, uh, "appropriate" given the context.

I don't agree with Spike Lee on much, but he's right on this one. Quentin Tarantino is infatuated with this word. The gratuitous use of the word by an African American character in Death Proof is undeniably his way of using the slur without getting called out for it, and I just thought y'all should know. Despite those conflicting feelings about the various issues raised by the Don Imus affair, I'm harboring colorful fantasies of Black folks pulling a drop squad on Quentin Tarantino and forcing him into "N***as Anonymous".

It seems we've reached a new low in the history of the n-word and all its variants, mi gente. When having your ongoing debates about who is "allowed' to say the word, the role hip hop plays in its proliferation, and whether or not the inconsistencies in holding people accountable for its continued use are justified, discuss this, too. The firing of Don Imus might make some Whites in media think twice about tossing out racial epithets in the name of entertainment, for sure. But it also may encourage the Tarantinos of the world who refuse to kick their n***** habit to invent more ways to make us say the dirty words for them.

What are we going to do then?